By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 578
You deserved it 5 521

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Wait, whose birthday does he think it is?

So, what did he say when you told him to bend over?


Wait, whose birthday does he think it is?

Yeah I heard anal hurts. Birthdays aren't supposed to be painful.

Birthdays are always painful birthday beats

gjikvtj 18

I'm new here, are we going the break up with him way, file a lawsuit way or don't worry OP it'll get better way?

#3 - not painful if you do it right, and take it slowly!

incoherentrmblr 21

Says the giraffe that's really a cat...

I don't think I'll ever be using nature's condom.

1dvs_bstd 41

yup that pretty much sums FML comments. The one I hate most is "you mean ex, right?!"

Who needs abstinence when you can just do anal???

Then it'll be alright 8) -#28

klovemachine 24

That is a crappy gift :O

you had to do it, didnt you?

I'm going to start getting anal about these shitty puns, no ifs, ands, or butts about it.

incoherentrmblr 21


@39, glad you got my Family Guy reference.

I'd be pretty pissed off

Well, ehat did you say?

I think she asked for e Hat as a present instead. See what I did there (;

Offer him back the gift of singleness

....or offer him back the gift of anal ;)

So much win in this thread :D

I like the way you think, Xlord. When OP gives her bf the "gift of anal", she should be sure to hide the receipt so he can't return the gift.

My ex once asked to give me the same gift, I said I would if he would let me give him the same gift first! He agreed! My sex life was shitty!

So, what did he say when you told him to bend over?

"It's ok. Come in dry."

I love it!!! Hahaha... I mean tygerarmys classic sense of humor! Good one

He sounds like a pain in the ass.

I think she's being to butthurt

I would give him the gift of a good slap across the face

Spankings sure! Anal.. Not so much. Unless trying something new on your birthday is something you're willing to do. Happy birthday anyways!

If he wants anal she should put on a strap on and give him anal.

At first I read brother instead of boyfriend... at least it wasn't that awkward!

RedPillSucks 31

You should have told him bend over so you can receive his anal gift with the end of your foot

TheDrifter 23

Ouch RPS, straight to extreme insertions? I'd say she should at least break him in with a fist or something first.

I think maybe they meant OP would be kicking her boyfriend's butt.