Intimacy: Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend...

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 12 604

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By ehwat - 26/11/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 882

You deserved it 12 782

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 612

You deserved it 5 531

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 4 601

By manhood fading away - 25/12/2016 20:24 - United Kingdom - Heckmondwike

Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 186

You deserved it 770

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 967

You deserved it 946

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 965

You deserved it 15 167

By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 15 359

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 202

You deserved it 42 475

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 4 166

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 671

You deserved it 9 729

sorryheadphones 26

Sunday 7 December 2014 0:02

Well is it something you can afford?

Pink185054 16

Sunday 7 December 2014 0:03

Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass

Comments

Ki11erC 18

Sunday 7 December 2014 19:09

LOL *takes hat off and bows*

rock_stud 9

Sunday 7 December 2014 19:34

Buy him a ***** for Christmas!!

taurosx3 2

Sunday 7 December 2014 20:02

You should accept that.

bobsanction 18

Sunday 7 December 2014 20:57

That's one way to save money.

numberswoman 14

Sunday 7 December 2014 22:03

Buy a strap on and give him all he can handle!

brandoneyez1 25

Sunday 7 December 2014 22:39

This is where you get a toy and give him anal. !!

Duckzy 16

Monday 8 December 2014 1:20

Well you heard the man! Give it to him!

jackdanuls 3

Monday 8 December 2014 2:44

u should give it to him

Silk_Routes 14

Monday 8 December 2014 2:47

Anal is fun Op, enjoy

Allison_leah23 17

Monday 8 December 2014 3:58

I've been laughing for a solid ten minutes at these comments. You all have beautiful puns.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 185

Today, as an adult, I finally got to meet my great-grandfather. I had no idea he was still alive, since my parents and even my grandpa never told me. When we met, I found out why my family like to pretend he doesn't exist: This senile 93-year-old is by far the most racist person I've ever encountered in my life. FML

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You deserved it 100

The Top

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You deserved it 2 471

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I agree, your life sucks 43 613

You deserved it 4 883

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I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 68

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I agree, your life sucks 33 425

You deserved it 2 248

Today, my girlfriend bought several packs of bottled water, even though we have pure mountain water on tap. She did this because the pile-up of unwashed dishes in the sink makes it virtually impossible to slide a glass under the tap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 451

You deserved it 46 682

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 043

You deserved it 6 208