Intimacy: Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend...

By fuckered519 - 06/12/2014 19:53 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 226

You deserved it 12 604

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
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Same thing different taste

By ehwat - 26/11/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 882

You deserved it 12 782

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 612

You deserved it 5 531

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 316

You deserved it 4 601

By manhood fading away - 25/12/2016 20:24 - United Kingdom - Heckmondwike

Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 186

You deserved it 770

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 967

You deserved it 946

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 965

You deserved it 15 167

By djl - 20/12/2012 05:30 - Canada - Beaumont

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 15 359

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 202

You deserved it 42 475

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 18:10 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 4 166

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 671

You deserved it 9 729

sorryheadphones 26

Sunday 7 December 2014 0:02

Well is it something you can afford?

Pink185054 16

Sunday 7 December 2014 0:03

Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 7 December 2014 5:48

Maybe get him a basic gift as well...be creative

Sockmonkey12 10

Sunday 7 December 2014 6:05

First time I lol'd in a long time

oldmanalex 3

Sunday 7 December 2014 6:22

The gift that keeps on giving

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 7 December 2014 6:23

That guy is not going to give you something that valuable.

dudechef 8

Sunday 7 December 2014 6:57

Now would that be giving or receiving?

XQuartzX 15

Sunday 7 December 2014 7:44

at least its free...?

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 7 December 2014 18:31

Not really.

PSYqualiac 17

Sunday 7 December 2014 19:25

Free? Yes. But it's a pain in the ass to get.

kotaro66 10

Sunday 7 December 2014 7:54

Best gift ever! Hahaha

scififemme 23

Sunday 7 December 2014 7:59

You should get a strap-on to wear on x-mas.

DaniX9 5

Sunday 7 December 2014 7:59

Tell him he has to finger it first, you don't wanna stick something huge in there right away. Maybe he'll change his mind after that

NLM22 14

Sunday 7 December 2014 8:40

couldn't agree more

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The Top

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 637

You deserved it 2 340

Today, my new neighbour is delusional. She’s only lived next door 3 weeks and she’s called the police on me 11 times for “taking his bin out so he can look in my window”, “hanging out the washing so he can look in my window” and “barbecuing with his kids so he can look in my window.” Crazy bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 57

The Top

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "What were you reaching for?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 249

You deserved it 9 857

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 395

You deserved it 5 762

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 2 786

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly, and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 672

You deserved it 5 052

Today, while working my overnight shift, I went into the isolation room to find some items for a former client. The door fell shut and the magnetic lock went to work. Both unit telephones and my cell phone were lying on the desk, and I waited four hours for my supervisor to rescue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 671

You deserved it 4 837

Today, I stepped away from my desk for a few minutes only to return to find the general manager installing updates on my computer. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not pulled up a website explaining in great detail the effects and causes of vaginal yeast infections. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 956

You deserved it 30 745