FML :

About Enslaved

Owns a Red Shoe Diary. Wants to be loved, just not by you. Hello me ... Meet the real me Open your eyes and see that Life is Beautiful, enjoys Silent Lucidity, and still Rides the Lightning. Love-Hate-Sex-Pain It's complicating me sometimes I took you home Set you on the glass I pulled off your wings Then I laughed How do I live without the ones I love? Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned Place and time always on my mind I have so much to say but you're so far away

Enslaved - Followers

2011shadow...

Enslaved - Followed

Enslaved's page visits

Hugged!

Enslaved's FML badges

Supersize Menu
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
I never take things to heart
Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Happy ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
The thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
The return of the thumb
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
I'm an early bird, but no worm yet
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
Night owl
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
What'ch'all looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
The Mixer
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
One more and it's business time
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
Inception
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Santa Claus
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
42
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
Work is a 4-letter word
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
I agree, my mouse works.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
Judgmental
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
50 favorites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
50 quality comments
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
100 kick-ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
It's in the can!
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Socialite
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Tweet, tweet
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.

0%
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

33%
Tell us what happened next
You've commented on an FML that you sent in

0%
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

1%
A new thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

1%
I liked to the power of 20
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.

0%
Going for gold
You looked for gold on FML. What more do you want, money?

0%
My diary is a collector's item
There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.

0%
YDI Master
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

32%
Picture this FML
You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.

0%

The list of badges to find

Enslaved's favorite FMLs

Today, at an MA meeting, I ran into the cop who'd pulled me over and given me a ticket for marijuana possession. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 4 February 2017 19:00 / United States - San Diego

Doesn't stop some people getting shitfaced

Today, I decided to abstain from alcohol for good. Later that evening, while out with friends, I ordered a Virgin Mojito at a bar, to which the hot bartender replied, "C'mon... seriously?!" Told him I'm pregnant. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Ann - / Tuesday 31 January 2017 13:00 / Latvia - Riga

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Thursday 20 June 2013 00:13 / United States - Lees Summit

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By fuckshitcockwaffle - / Friday 31 May 2013 14:59 / Australia - Bayswater

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous / Saturday 8 June 2013 10:34 / United States - Bessemer

Enslaved

Supersize Menu

I never take things to heart

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

Happy ending

The thumb strikes back

I’m your new creative director

The return of the thumb

Checking you out

I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

Night owl

What'ch'all looking at?

The Mixer

I like your style

One more and it's business time

Inception

Santa Claus

42

This isn't what should be happening

Work is a 4-letter word

The rules are the rules

I agree, my mouse works.

Judgmental

50 favorites

Consolation prize

50 quality comments

100 kick-ass comments

It's in the can!

Profile completed

Perfectionist

Up and coming moderator

I NEED to know!

Mobility

Beginner

Socialite

I moderated this!

Tweet, tweet

Who’s the fairest of them all?

Tell us what happened next

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

A new thumb

I liked to the power of 20

Going for gold

My diary is a collector's item

YDI Master

Picture this FML

Doesn't stop some people getting shitfaced