Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
sorryheadphones 26
Well is it something you can afford?
Pink185054 16
Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass
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Comments (118)
Das2589 6
Buy a cheap *****, and then on Christmas morning when he asks for the anal you promised him, pull out the ***** and tell him to bend over. When he tells you that's not what he wanted then just reply with "But honey, its what you asked for."
ChildrenOfFilth 12
Lube isn't too expensive. Better stock up.
Zombinosh77 11
Sex acts that you haven't done before or are uncomfortable with shouldn't be 'given' as a gift - instead of working it gradually into your sex life, the pressure is there to perform on the day.
TomeDr 25
Tell him that the only anal done would be with a ***** up his butt. Period.
KingJcarl 5
Just try it. You might like it
Violord 13
Like in DBZ Abridged in that one movie where Goku wants Chi Chi's "mouth present"
OrganicMachine90 8
I will never understand why any guy would rather put their dick in a girls ass when there's a perfectly good ****** right there. so gross....
anthony99 14
That's one shitty gift
Vesi 30
*laughs* Tell him to pick the ***** he wants used on him and you'll get the straps!
quarterweek 13
I'm sure if you're uncomfortable with it he would understand. Just make sure if you do end up going through with it that you start slow. And lube is your friend.