By Hollzbananza - 11/07/2015 14:30 - Australia

Spicy
Today, I realised that my boyfriend gets a boner every time I cry. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 509
You deserved it 3 797

Hollzbananza tells us more.

To answer some of the questions... Firstly, it's not like I cry every day.. we have been together for almost 4 years so he's seen me cry quite a bit over time. It's easy to notice when he's sitting in front of me or hugging me to console me. And if we're all being honest, sometimes it's just obvious that someone has a boner. My initial reaction was to be shocked and angrily ask if he likes to see me in pain but it's kind of hilarious when I'm not actually upset and crying. I agree that I don't think it's because he's trying to take advantage of me. Boners can have a mind of their own, and it could be an intimacy thing I guess since he's caring and always comforts me when I cry. Who knows... Thanks for the laughs, I enjoyed reading the comments :)

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Top comments

This FML is a real tear jerker

how much did you have to cry to figure that out?

Comments

This FML is a real tear jerker

OP's bf was caught..... he's boned.

Alittleghosty 3

dude how are you getting thumbed down that was hilarious

You just made my life.

Stopped me from cutting.

Swandive235 27

Yeah, this situation must be hard for OP to handle.

This joke would be even funnier if the FML also involved OP boyfriend jerking off to her crying.

#1 Made me think of the American dad episode where roger makes the saddest movie ever.

you win the internet today

Well, I haven't heard of that one before.

it's not that uncommon. my husband does, I've seen several Reddit threads about it too. general consensus seems to be guys like the vulnerability or they feel like protectors or they think it's cute. my husband thinks I'm adorable when I cry.

Doesn't sound too far out there to have an unintended physical reaction to the testosterone release caused by protective feelings, especially in an intimate setting.

thehappycamper 13

Crying girls are cute! Expecially if its a over-joyous cry.

Some of us just like it when girls cry. Mmmmmm. Deliciously salty tears.

how much did you have to cry to figure that out?

Happy crying? Sad crying? Ugly crying? WE NEED ANSWERS! So many questions. So little time.

it took a couple of years before I completely made the connection. Mainly because I don't cry a LOT, but over time (almost 4 years) it got a bit obvious. It generally happens when I'm crying because we're in a huge argument.

Well, I can think of an explanation that is way less disturbing. Because getting an erection is also a response to stimuli, it could be that you cuddle him for comfort and he can't help but getting a physical reaction to that. I know I've been in situations where I had to comfort the girl who was in tears and noticed some growth. I then repositioned myself so she wouldn't notice it, because she might take it the wrong way. I am in no way getting aroused by crying, but pressing bodies against eachother sometimes works.

I suggest you blow him off when this happens.

I'm actually stumped on this one. I'm curious as to how you found this out and your initial reaction.

He kept saying ,"it's so hard to watch you cry". * hugs her for comfort with a huge boner *

cadillacgal79 32

I'm thinking she was lying on his lap and felt something poke her head

That's the epitome of awkward wood. That's a little disturbing to say the least.

It happens to me all the time. Not because I like seeing her sad but because she always presses her boobs against me and I unconsciously get one.

Ha, the boobs thing is a perfectly reasonable explanation actually, not every man is hiding some horrifying kink.

Just how often do you cry to find this out?

my husband does this as well. he told me.

Guys don't control when they get boners, and it doesn't always correlate with wanting to have sex. Some things can consistently trigger a boner even if psychologically they don't attract him.

Alittleghosty 3

Took the words right out of my mouth

Well, tell that to the crazy woman and the police officer who tackled me today while I was innocently walking. In a playground. Near a bunch of kids. Wiggling my bag of candy. Adjusting my mustache. Trying to locate my tinted van.