Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Nice try, chief
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
The best method!
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Non sequitur
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Thanks, I guess…
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Top comments
sorryheadphones 26
Well is it something you can afford?
Pink185054 16
Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass
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Comments (118)
mrd1997 19
Honestly I don't see the great thing about anal. In my opinion, that's an exit only hole. And if you do it wrong or too hard, you can seriously mess shit up down there. It seems very painful and very uncomfortable to shove anything up there to begin with. And if the person needed to shit, you would get that said shit on your dick. That's just nasty. Anyways, It's up to you OP, and if you do decide to do that, then good for you, and good luck.
elcee1987 18
AGREE
sturschaedel 27
If you have to shit you should do so before. If you don't the last bit of your colon is normally empty and clean. Anal can be pleasureable in the receiving side if you follow some rules, especially the first few times. 1) Don't go in dry. No lube is not an option. 2) Know: at the entrance there are two ring muscles in a row, about two fingers apart, that the guy neesds to pass carefully. The outer one can be opened consiously, just press slightly as if you want to poop, it should open up. The second one you can't open that way. The guy has to go in until he reaches that muscle, apply very gentle pressure but shouldn't move at all until he feels that muscle relax and open. If he moves in without waiting it will hurt. If done correctly it won't hurt at all.
Tsukiyomi 16
Sounds like a pain in the ass
calianon 7
Possibly just like her asshole
x0ellison0x 21
At least it'd be free!
Starlet15 6
hun you cant ask your boyfriend want he wants and not expect that lol
sabriel19 8
tell him "alright. you get the lube, i'll get the strap-on"
Miss_Scarlet 9
Women like you all are why I have a very lucrative career as an escort. Thank you :-)
red82991 5
Really? Because I thought it was daddy issues.
weveallbeenthere 30
Good for you #62. You probably make more money than most. people.
vlalam 24
awesome, seems u don't have to spend a penny.. hahaha, jk
chikinscratch00 8
lol hella funny
Miss_Batgirl17 12
That sure is a pain in the butt.