Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML
Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Today, because it was our first Christmas as a couple, I was careful to get my girlfriend what I considered to be a very thoughtful gift. She opened it, took one look at it, made a face like I'd just kicked a puppy, and told me that in future it would be better if I just gave her money so she could buy her own presents. FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
sorryheadphones 26
Well is it something you can afford?
Pink185054 16
Well...that's gonna be a pain in the ass
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Comments (118)
Joedbag 8
Good lube is about $15...
ThePols 11
Don't be a Grinch.
RA91 26
tmi
ezrajab 22
Well if you willing to go for it anal if not done properly can severely damage your backside for life but it is up to you. He really shouldn't have put you on the spot like that sorry op
mosquito19 14
get the biggest strap-on you can afford and goto town.
ColdRoxas 18
Tmi my friend t-m-i
vivaellefashion 14
Assing for much?
doctorhook86 25
#3: Loosely, like the way you used that apostrophe.
DylanHasClass 17
Sound's like an awesome gift to me.
MrsLighthouse 8
This gives a whole new meaning to the saying "Don't let your mouth write a check your ass can't cash."