Work

By mademoiselleaus - 06/12/2011 12:26 - Australia

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 920

You deserved it 3 325

mademoiselleaus tells us more.

mademoiselleaus 2

Friday 9 December 2011 17:20

Ella and Fitzgerald? Maria and Sharapova? Harry and Potter? Oh, the endless possibilities!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2011 00:11 - United States

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 19 088

Nice guy

By LucklessNiceGuy - 05/12/2011 07:22 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job on account of "sexual harassment" toward female employees. The harassment? Jokingly offering them foot massages when they were complaining about how their feet ached after a long shift, and complimenting them about their appearance when they felt down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 667

You deserved it 45 316

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 724

You deserved it 2 837

By Anonymous - 02/12/2011 21:54 - United States

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 699

You deserved it 2 274

By JadeC - 01/12/2011 18:55 - United States

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 757

You deserved it 3 351

By ChrisD2V - 01/12/2011 03:52 - United States

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 868

You deserved it 33 996

Do it again!

By immy504 - 30/11/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled, "NINJA WAITRESS!" Everyone at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 329

You deserved it 5 942

By TheCrossingChick - 30/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 672

You deserved it 28 922

By robincakes94 - 29/11/2011 12:42 - United States

Today, I went to a nursing home to sing Christmas carols to the elderly. They threw their bananas at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 751

You deserved it 6 648

Sniper

By kait - 29/11/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 009

You deserved it 2 346

Annoying

By taternuts - 26/11/2011 12:18 - Canada

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 327

You deserved it 3 512

By Justforlolz - 24/11/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 2 827

Justforlolz tells us more.

Justforlolz 14

Thursday 24 November 2011 20:04

That was painfully bad...

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 10:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 744

You deserved it 4 243

By anon - 23/11/2011 22:53

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 024

You deserved it 3 034

By disciplinaryaction - 21/11/2011 07:02 - United States

Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 776

You deserved it 3 359

By arthur - 19/11/2011 08:40 - New Zealand

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 840

You deserved it 2 636

By I quit - 19/11/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 207

You deserved it 3 351

Grow up

By Anothernametaken - 18/11/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, while working the drive-through at McDonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" and throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 287

You deserved it 5 255

By Chubby - 17/11/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 243

You deserved it 5 188

By nyatzz - 16/11/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, my landlady cut off the Internet to my flat. She says she has no use for it, and doesn't want to keep it anymore. I have 3 online assignments due in the next week, and finals the following week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 268

You deserved it 2 932

By unhappyelf - 14/11/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, my boss insisted that we get in the holiday mood by putting up lights, playing Christmas music, and wearing bells on our uniforms. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I can't even have a tinkle without full-blown jingling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 947

You deserved it 2 737

By metallifreak44 - 14/11/2011 13:37 - Canada

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 058

You deserved it 3 742

By Anon - 14/11/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 3 266

By TTR - 13/11/2011 00:36 - United States

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 927

You deserved it 44 726

By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 09:27 - Australia

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 114

You deserved it 2 818

By ToInsecure4me - 10/11/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I had to stay late at work. My husband made me take a video of myself punching out, to prove I wasn't cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 047

You deserved it 6 449

By copshop - 10/11/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 298

You deserved it 36 066

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 17:20 - Romania

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 399

You deserved it 3 630

By midwesternpetclerk - 09/11/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 876

You deserved it 2 731

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 614

You deserved it 2 297

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 090

You deserved it 8 704

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 807

You deserved it 3 984

Today, my ex asked me if I would reconsider a future with him. I said, “Only if we can learn to communicate effectively." He said, “Good talk, this time you actually got through to me.” Then he ceased all communication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 145

Today, I broke my mug, windshield wiper, shower curtain, and foot, all in six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 899

You deserved it 288

Today, I have a serious bladder problem, which causes me to frequently urinate. If I'm unable to, I get really bad cramps. To ensure I always can go, I got a note from my doctor stating I can go during class. My professor threw it away and claimed it was fake. Hello, cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 98