Work: Close but no cigar

Close but no cigar

By bbb - 03/10/2012 16:19 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 785

You deserved it 1 593

Work

Taking stock

Broken heart

Values

Sounds wonderful

By Loner - 05/12/2021 14:00

Today, I spent the thirty second consecutive day in a row seeing no one but my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 199

By Roxas - 14/02/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 749

You deserved it 3 228

By Anonymous - 10/08/2013 04:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 681

You deserved it 6 068

By Anonymous - 23/10/2013 04:43 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 123

You deserved it 9 033

A Natural Snack!

By Anonymous - 20/02/2017 17:00 - United States - Charles City

Today, my husband argued with me for an hour, because he believed that loaded potato skins grow naturally on a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 813

You deserved it 776

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 1 023

By Jen__ - 22/03/2014 07:18 - Canada - Kitimat

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 160

You deserved it 4 460

By Skittles - 13/08/2017 20:00

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 737

You deserved it 1 249

By SeverelyAnnoyed - 31/03/2016 17:53 - Netherlands

Today, a crow somehow got stuck in my ceiling. It's been making tons of noise for 9 hours now, including crowing very loudly. I live in a one-bedroom apartment, I have no access to the attic and the property owner doesn't give a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 491

You deserved it 1 129

By Anonymous - 11/06/2016 05:15 - United States - Bronx

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 042

You deserved it 2 865

By UltraHoe69 - 06/01/2011 22:57 - United States

Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 097

You deserved it 4 392

By Jackie - 18/09/2009 01:36 - United States

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 598

You deserved it 4 875

Best day of my life

By poorgirl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad threw up on my dress. My wedding dress. While he was walking me down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 164

You deserved it 3 458

By yes i meant ex-boyfriend - 18/01/2014 21:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend took a day off from work because he felt "sick". I thought he might come see me since he hadn't come over in a while. Nope, he went to hang out with his ex instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 317

You deserved it 5 776

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 691

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 248

You deserved it 4 924

By itswhateverr - 03/05/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 703

You deserved it 4 437

By Anonymous - 24/06/2019 00:17

Today, after I got pregnant 22 years ago and my husband became way too overprotective to the point where he became a right pain in the ass, I’m now accidentally pregnant again. It turns out my now 22-year-old son is almost as bad as his dad was. Now I’ve got two of the sods to deal with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 514

By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. I was stood up by even my therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 642

You deserved it 6 546

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 593

You deserved it 23 294

By Anonymous - 23/04/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend at the airport after studying abroad for a year. She ran to hug me, and I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, like they do in those romantic movies. I tried to do that, but instead I dropped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 774

You deserved it 54 216

By Biggest Jerk - 14/02/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 780

You deserved it 38 442

By tomedicalforlove - 21/02/2013 05:51

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 095

You deserved it 41 779

By Anonymous - 11/04/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 958

You deserved it 7 031

Stay safe, wear a hazmat suit

By Davey Crocker - 23/04/2020 08:00

Today, my coworker volunteered me to drop laptops off at two sites outside our normal areas. I asked if they were safe from COVID-19. "I don't know, but you're young. You'll be okay," responded the man who's been working from home for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 170

By anonymous - 15/08/2016 03:06 - United States - Pewaukee

Today, a guy I have been crushing on since forever finally talked to me. Too bad it happened after an anxiety attack when he carried me from class to the nurse's. The first thing he said to me when I came to was, "You're heavier than you look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 275

You deserved it 1 289

By kill me - 07/05/2016 00:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to my nosy, interfering, clingy, no-concept-of-personal-space mom that I'm not okay with her moving into my new house, or the same neighborhood, or even the same goddamn state as me when I get married next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 906

You deserved it 1 913

By ToothHurtyAM - 18/10/2018 05:00

Today, the principal of my school asked me if I had practice. Knowing he's gullible, I said yes. I came home to find him and my mom having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 149

You deserved it 835

By Gemma - 03/11/2010 11:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 142

You deserved it 60 599

Inspirational tale

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 02:03 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my parents got a call from my principal. I'd been lying that I couldn’t see the work I had to do in my online class, because I was behind and I needed to catch up. Tomorrow my parents are getting a call, telling them the dates I've been logged into the online learning. I haven’t logged in in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 2 400

By Dockin - 14/02/2019 15:37 - India

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 202

You deserved it 37 888

By Chatons - 05/12/2013 06:52 - Switzerland

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 191

You deserved it 7 893

By Anonymous - 05/02/2012 15:45 - Reserved

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 804

You deserved it 5 048

The Outsider

By Anonymous - 24/03/2020 19:15

Today, I realized I am ‘that person’ in the group when I was only added to the group chat 6 weeks after it was created. I don’t really see a point in trying to chime in to the conversation at this point, but leaving the group seems a bit dramatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 207

By Wow - 13/03/2012 04:38 - United States

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 511

You deserved it 8 846

By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is a Mormon, when his mother greeted me saying how happy she was her son had found himself a Mormon girlfriend. I know nothing about Mormonism, except from what I've seen on South Park, and I'm an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 065

You deserved it 6 431

By creepedout - 20/07/2015 03:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I received a text with my last name spelled wrong. A short conversation revealed he got my number from me, through Tinder. I don't have an account, but he insisted he knew that I like it 'hard and rough'. He knew my first name. I still don't know how he got my phone number or name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 976

You deserved it 2 326

Sharing is caring

By cpmagnusox - 17/03/2020 08:30

Today, my girlfriend and I are so close that we both describe our poops in detail to each other. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 1 186

Who's a good boy? Not you.

By Anonymous - 21/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, while walking my dog in a cemetery, she stole a stuffed animal off a child's grave and began to play with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 3 368

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 953

You deserved it 8 432

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Top comments

unknown_user5566 26

Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:33

I know how you feel, OP. Before I finally earned the position I'm in now, that happened to me TWICE. Fickle managers piss me off. Either create a position, or don't. You shouldn't dangle an opportunity in front of your employees, just to take it away.

DocBastard 38

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:40

*not How did autocorrect not auto correct that? What the hell is mot?!

sbstar2017 8

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:32

That sucks

unknown_user5566 26

Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:33

Metallica36176 16

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 23:13

Yeah, that happened at one of my old jobs but they dangled it so you would do more work. So I don't know if I should suggest OP to work normally when positions arrive or what. They might be playing the whole company.

Jjgibbs 5

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:36

By any chance, are you bad luck bryan?

DocBastard 38

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:36

It must mot have gone as great as you thought. Actually, you must have bombed the interview. Not only did you not get the job, they eliminated it completely after your fiasco!

DocBastard 38

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:40

*not How did autocorrect not auto correct that? What the hell is mot?!

unknown_user5566 26

Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:43

According to dictionary.com, it's a pithy or witty remark. FML leads to many educational discoveries for me on a daily basis. Fun AND educational!

greenie213 23

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:43

It's an annual test of automobile safety used in the UK. Just googled it.

rhaemese 9

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Thursday 4 October 2012 1:20

I thought it was a mixture of might and not...

simonsaysYDI 8

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Thursday 4 October 2012 6:29

I like 20's version. Lets go with that from now on.

blakken 3

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:41

The one thing is you know they said they would call you. It isn't anything to do with you per say just the business didn't need that position open anymore. It could have been a number of scenarios. Nothing against you personally. Don't take it as such OP.

anythingmustbe 18

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:44

The interview must have been a devil of a job but your probably did a bang up job on it. Maybe they cancelled it because they thought you would lie down on the job. O well make the best of a bad job.

viper8608 9

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:51

maybe they cancelled it because you got it.

unknown_user5566 26

Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:53

Cancelled the position itself, not the interview, meaning there is no longer a job for OP to obtain.

outoftown 26

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 23:50

#11 - I had a version of this happen; others were told I had the job before I was offered and accepted it. I had to find the hiring manager to get the story straight. Awkward.

september1395 7

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Thursday 4 October 2012 1:32

11- hey that's what I thought too:D

emeraldisle 30

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 22:58

Perhaps they were looking for more people to interview for the position.

Spectre529 12

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 23:13

Shit happens.. Sorry for you op =(

KiddNYC1O 20

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Thursday 4 October 2012 0:02

Thank goodness for FML!

Spectre529 12

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Thursday 4 October 2012 15:56

Haha how so??

olpally 32

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Wednesday 3 October 2012 23:30

Well, at least you still have a job and didn't get fired... I hate when companies do that... Jerks!

simonsaysYDI 8

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Thursday 4 October 2012 6:35

Yeah! I hate when companies fire people! It's not like they give you multiple warnings and chances to explain yourself! It's not like there are laws requiring them to have a legit reason! It's not like you have grounds to sue if you are fired for an illegitimate reason which leads companies to ridiculously accepting of laziness and stupidity! Have you ever tried to fire someone? It can be much harder than you think, even if they are fucking slack and always late. Admittedly this does depend on the size, and even the general atmosphere of the company.