By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 418
You deserved it 2 364

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Tell them to tell other people about your awesome restroom.

Should've locked him in and make him pay up to be let out. Extra profit!

Comments

Tell them to tell other people about your awesome restroom.

Hence, OP should probably start charging a fee to use the restroom. It'll pay more than OP's actual business from the sounds of it ;)

I'm certain if OP actually did that he/she won't have customers at all. No one wants to pay to use the restroom, they'll just find the nearest store and use theirs.

When a man's gotta go, he's gotta go.

BOGTGTTB: Buy one, get to go to the bathroom! See, you just needed a catch-phrase.

I'm noticing a lot of places are making bathrooms open only for people who purchase something in the store. So it's kinda like charging to use the bathroom...

"You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"

Time to advertise

28 - what the fuck?

"I got snakes, and I got sparklers."

28 is full of win.

For the love of all things confusing, can someone explain to us common folk what you are referencing?

If someone slipped and fell in a shower with a locked door, you could just break the door down. Not very economical, but a life is worth more than a door. You would have to hear the fall either way anyways.

My comment is full of fail, wrong fml. Bury it and hide my shame. However --to clear 28s comment up-- I do believe he is referencing South Park; to those who don't know.

90- Nope, Joe Dirt.

Aw sorry OP. I know how it is to have a shop and not have work screw the customers

Yeah, like it's the customer's fault the shop isn't good enough. By which I don't want to say OP's shop is certainly bad - it could have been just opened, and you can't be a popular store from the first minute - but we live in a world with a shitload of competition, and if the people aren't interested in the products you sell/if they are too expensive/if the quality isn't as good as the customers demand/... you can better change your tactics or close your store.

That was a long ass explanation.

yeah, allow me to summarize - economics.

thank you 14

Another possible explanation- Aliens. *hand gestures*

Ummm customers = income. DONT SCREW THE CUSTOMERS! Embrace them AND their wallets.

I agree with 43. Saying "screw the customers" and having that attitude will ruin you. Even though it sucks, the customer is always right.

Don't just screw the customers, at least buy them dinner first

LOL exactly xD

Wow I hate 6's comments so annoying and long

59, the customer is always an idiot

78 - You are bitching...

I can't believe 80 is getting thumbed down. Unless someone else already said it first, it might be the most clever comment of this FML.

93, it might be because he misspelled "prostitute".

That's why I thumbed him down.

Should've locked him in and make him pay up to be let out. Extra profit!

Yeah I agree, maybe you should start charging people who want to use the bathroom or have a customer only policy.

If it wasn't for that pesky "unlawful imprisonment" law OP could have done that.

It's either your shop is at some remote corner or it's time to spend some money on advertisements.

This FML is advertising, sort of. OP - tell us about your shop.

- If you have so little business, take the time to set up and optimize the Facebook page. Facebook is close to free -- it takes time (and creativity) to set up more than it takes money. It sounds like you've got plenty of time to invest. -- Buy some local Facebook ads too, which can be had for cheap. Advertise a free gift or special discount to customers who make a $x purchase by a certain date. - For customers who do come in, focus on trying to make them into repeat customers. After they make a purchase, give them a coupon (e.g. $5 off a $50 purchase or $15 off a $100 purchase) when they bring a friend who makes a purchase. The friend gets a 10% discount or something off the first purchase (easier to convince the friend to come to your store for a percentage discount than with a coupon that says they would have to spend a minimum amount). - Put a wooden chalkboard sign out in front of your shop. Lure people in with funny phrases and/or sales. Good luck!

Clearly you know your stuff!

Go to a Sally Beauty Supply and sort of copy them. Or just go online and look at their ad. They have sales set up by month and occasional 50% off red tag items.

Thanks, Dr. Kate!

81- if you're using the iPhone app you can slide your finger across the middle of the comment and the thumbs up/down should be where you can click it :)

This makes me wonder, what does OP sell?

He should sell bathroom fixtures!

Probably crap that no one wants...otherwise they'd have some customers.

Maybe I'm only saying this because I've just watched 5 consecutive episodes of Breaking Bad, but I know a way OP can make some quick money...

Left-handed objects for left-handed people.

Words cannot express the amount of "what" I am currently feeling because of that comment.

You should greet every prospective customer like the merchant from Resident Evil 4: "What are ya boooooyin'?" But seriously ... what are ya sellin'?

Toiletries.

Medicinal Marijuana

If it was medicinal marijuana the place would be packed. Regardless if it was legal or not

My chicago typewriter

I'll buy it at a high price.

Charge for toilet paper, win/win

Oh dear. Time to re-evaluate that buisness plan. Free bagels on entry?

Free bagels, I would definitely come to your store OP!

At least they didn't go to the bathroom on any of your products...?

Yes, at least.