By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 00:11 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 055
You deserved it 2 184
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Top comments

kyat288 9

Walk up to him and whisper 'sore dicksss' and punch him in the groin

243 31
Big_lama6 7

That unemployment line isn't looking so bad anymore

109 9

Comments

TurtleSmile 14

Hardly. Perhaps if he had whipped it out whilst whispering to OP and continued this daily then maybe that breaks the top 100.

30 4
BunchieRules 31

I'd say the one from a few days ago is creepier, when OP saw someone running from their backyard. Or the one where OP kept hallucinating a llama in their room. (Yes, the llama was me.)

20 4
skyenoelle 15

I didn't realize that "horse dicks" is such a spooky thing to be uttered by the words of OP's boss. I definitely wouldn't say that it's the scariest FML ever. OP's boss might just have a very weird sense of humor.

21 3
SwaggerMelon 6

I think 1 was trying to make a pun about how horses get "spooked" when they're scared.

6 12
BeforeItWasCool 12

Nah, the one where they heard someone scream outside when they live in the middle of nowhere was worse.

22 0
Llamassss 21

22- The llama was me.

9 1
GuessWhatKids 13

Troll lvl: Master

1 0
Inediblepeaches 15

1- Thumb up only because Miku....

0 3
KM96 24

Talk about being unlucky and definitely uncalled for! Sorry for you OP

16 4
kyat288 9

Walk up to him and whisper 'sore dicksss' and punch him in the groin

243 31
kyat288 9

Most thumbs up out of all the comments on this fml... Cool :)

4 69
Silver996 2

Women don't realize how much it sucks to get socked in the balls.

25 9
SenselessPattern 12

#29, I can turn your 2 comments into 1 using magic. Observe: #29 You got the most thumbs down on the FML. Lol. Tada.

3 7
onlychildFTW 33

Comment 29 and 30 combined get -100 votes. Comment 3 was +99. So to see what his average thumbs number is we do -100 + 99 = 0 Therefore he has a bad thumbs average of -1 thumbs.

7 2
onlychildFTW 33

Dammit. Ran out of time to fix it. It's now -2 thumbs and it shouldn't = 0. Damn.

6 1
SenselessPattern 12

Holy shit, I didn't even realize it was the same commenter replying twice to himself. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.

0 3
kyat288 9

Ha, I knoww... That was only to see how many comments my phone would let me post on one fml

1 0
Big_lama6 7

That unemployment line isn't looking so bad anymore

109 9
Mister_Triangle 21

I'll gladly trade with OP

1 2
then000bster 16

I'm really interested in what he would say the next day you work. Whispers, "Bunny Balls...."

68 16
lebronesque73091 12

Just pretend you didn't hear it. Your boss probably won't continue if you don't acknowledge it.

35 4
lacespace 8

Welcome to the jungle.

39 4
syki 22

Actually, the old story about her death is completely false. It was spread around by her political opponents of the age, who did not appreciate a female ruler. Certainly not one was also sexually liberated, behaving in much the way her male counterparts did. It's unfortunate that the myth persists to this day, to the degree that that's all that most people remember her for. She wasn't called 'the Great' for being a horse-******, you know.

25 3
Epikouros 31

Way to ruin a good story, syki. Do you have pointy ears?

0 15
syki 22

No, Captain, but I have a functioning brain and a decent education. I don't think it's a particularly good story when one of the greatest women in history is reduced to a patriarchal giggle about **********.

14 1