By tsukinoie - 02/02/2014 06:33 - United States

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 603
You deserved it 6 862

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Nolimit2217 32

Is your friend Charlie Sheen?!

Well at least you get to spend quality time with him still...with hookers


Well at least you get to spend quality time with him still...with hookers

colton_colton 49

I see nothing wrong with this

If they're quality, does that mean they come with more than you paid for? I.e. STI's?

Nolimit2217 32

Is your friend Charlie Sheen?!

he wouldn't need a house then!

Yes he does Ashton Kutcher took his.

Nickb55 16

Tell him that he has to share and you win too!

Ah, win an STD or die trying!

Oh goodness. I hope you let him know you don't find that acceptable, he needs to respect you and your home - it's only basic manners.

What if he brought enough for the whole class?

...fair enough ;)

Hookers made the "basic" list? I guess it comes up more often than I thought.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Nothing wrong with bought, consensual sex. We all do it to some degree.

buttcramp 21

yeah, agreed. OP, if this is actually upsetting you, I'd lay down some ground rules because you're doing this friend a favor and the friend should respect you/your home.

Take out the bought part that comes with STDs.

Yes. Yes there is.

You know they normally have a group rate...

Good thing he isn't moving in with you.

JMichael 25

Well you really didn't say yes or no.

Would you want someone to invite hookers to your house? I didn't think so...

that depends, will he share?

JMichael 25

Depends, do they all have doctors notes saying they're STD free and as tight as a bolt to a nut? Cuz you don't want anything lose.

SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@62 Maybe you're just small

You're a pig Michael...

buttcramp 21

Scientifically, it's proven that a woman's vagina doesn't become larger or loose as a result of having tons of sex. During sex, yes, but if you were to pull out and count to five and reinsert your penis, it would then be just at tight as when you first inserted. The more you know!

SuckMeBeautifu1 24

@89 Pregnancy, however...

So true, too many people aren't aware of this.

buttcramp 21

lol #94 this does take some time.. different for each woman depending on how they delivered their baby but most doctors say at least four weeks. you don't just bring a baby home and everything is magic downstairs.. you have stitches, gush blood with every movement you make, ointment, pain reliever spray, can't walk normally, can't wipe when you potty (dab dry), can't get comfy to sleep well, can't have sex (you can still get pregnant/pain unbearable). I remember my husband laughing at me "both of y'all are in diapers!" LOL

This night is going to have it's ups and downs

Ins and outs?

give and take?

Push and pull?


funnyguy_101 4

Sexy party time!

Hookers are people too you know!!!