By BirthdayFail - United States - Milwaukee
Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML
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  TheDrifter  |  23

Its been 6 years and op's mom still drinks herself into a stupor and cries all day regardless of what everyone else is doing? I vote ydi for not getting her the help she needs to move forward.

  Naith  |  14

What that make no sense she grieves because she is sad there is little anyone can do to console when you lose some who been with ugly your entire life

  Naith  |  14

I had tried to type you put it came out wrong in the autocorrect. I can accept it possible to get over grief for some but not everyone can especially if they were a large part of the grievers life before hand

  jweezy89  |  4

Six years of that is not grief. Sure it's still sad and tough to deal with, but now it sounds like she's an alcoholic that is reaching for an excuse to drink. Get her some help op, drinking herself into a stupor isn't going to help her move on. A therapist or even just a good friend to talk with will help much more than any amount of booze.

  TheDrifter  |  23

Despite my unsavory nature, crying over a loss from 6 years ago for extended periods and drinking oneself near comotose is not normal, mentally healthy behaviour. Most people will lose their parents eventually, its human nature and this sort of reaction is often a sign of a mental illness best treated by a trained professional.


Her Mom is an adult. She is able to seek help on her own. Sounds as though she would rather have a pity party. Exactly what my GF does when the subject of her GrandMa comes up. It's pathetic really. Grieve but move on. I lost my Father 9 years ago whom I loved very much but I don't bawl about it. Grow up people.

  simonsaysYDI  |  8

Wow... kinda heartless guys.
Some people are much closer to their parents than those of us who say we are. My grandma died on Christmas morning 10 years ago, I wasn't super close with her but it still makes me sad almost every year.
If your parent was one of your best friends, if it was her last parent, or maybe it was the first loss she ever experienced, any way it happened it's not right to insult someone for having trouble coping with a loss.
People deal with things differently, and if she never got the help she obviously needed to get over the loss, if she just depended on trying to push it down and block it with alcohol, it's not surprising that it can still overwhelm her once a year, even 6 years later.

  outoftown  |  26

I get how OP's mom is still grieving her mom; when my mom died, a piece of me died with her. But I have to agree with Drifter and other commenters on how the mom is handling her grief poorly with excessive drinking and needs help. Nothing heartless about pointing that out. The mom has a duty to her daughter, to not punish her for being born the same day her own mom died.

  tjv3  |  10

Hey op sorry about your birthday. I'm also sorry for your mom too. My mom passed away 5 years ago and it still hurts. Also my best friend died 5 years ago on my birthday so I can understand how much it sucks when your birthday coincides with a sucky ass event

  PrimeEvilTahir  |  23

Exactly. I think people should move on with these things because it leads to a lot of depression.

My dad passed away on September 15th of last year. Will I sit and sob on that day? No. I'll do as much fun things I can so I can over come that one September 15th of my life. I miss him dearly and I sob at times but we have to be strong about these things.

OP - talk to your mom and tell her how great your grandma was and celebrate her life!

  buck33  |  14

On the day of my grandfathers passing every year, my family thinks about it. We doesn't make a big deal of it though. The best thing you can do when a family member dies is move on. It's only gonna make everything worse to remorse so much.

  sophielotus  |  2

Exactly...most people who've passed away would probably like it better if their loved ones were happy and moving on with their lives while still remembering and celebrating the lives of those who are no longer with us.

  rotflqtms_  |  18

Happened to me on my 21st birthday. My grandpa died, & everyone went down to Jamaica for the funeral, but I couldn't get off from work, so I was stuck at work, in America, & alone on my birthday. Cheer up OP, after a few years, they'll start to celebrate your b-day, & it won't be as painful for you to celebrate as well. It took a few years, & I still can't celebrate my day w/o tears at 1st, but it gets better from here. I loved my g-pa, & miss him every day.

  Myo_fml  |  20

Yeah, I know it's hard. I lost my grandpa last year July 5th to cancer so while everyone else is enjoying festivities around that time, I'm mourning.

By  SkoomaKi  |  27

That's a dampener on things. Saying a joke comment on this FML would be a little harsh so...

Try and cheer your mum up, get her distracted from her thoughts about gram grams and the drink. But if she is reluctant, leave her and enjoy the rest of your birthday!

By  JustKittyKat  |  24

Oh dear. I'm terribly sorry, sweetie.
Maybe one day, your mother will be too distracted by the joy of celebrating to drink and sob.
Happy birthday, though! Please don't let this get you down. Celebrate life, don't waste your time being sad.