By Bondi414 - 15/02/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." My whole house now smells like pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 467
You deserved it 2 760

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In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.

That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......

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In this land of sun and fun, we do not flush for number one.

That really pisses me off!!!

i just got into bed after brushing my teeth then i saw your display pic.....i'm now cooking a burger downstairs

Just flush and say you did a number 2...

That's a stupid rule. He would save more money if he stopped feeding you and letting you drink.... No toilets to flush either then. Damn cheap ass, just flush anyway, that's disgusting.

Your whole house smells like piss? The new rule doesn't state you should piss in any other room besides the bathroom.

Marinus, My dad also used to have the same rule, but after a week he gave it up because like the OP, our house smelled like piss. When you have 2-4 people peeing a few times everyday and not flushing it, the smell of stale piss makes its way through the house. No pissing in other rooms required.

PIIIIIIIIIISS!!

62 - I don't know if it's just in my case, but one time when my toilet was out of order and I couldn't flush it, I got the bathroom and all of the adjacent area smelling like pee because I sleepwalked and went to pee every night for a week, and especially if you leave it like that for so long, something happens in the toilet, God knows what, and it starts reeking very strongly of amonia, that's why I feel very sorry for OP, it must be hell in her house right now.

You are right on, No. 68. My parents also instituted this rule when my brother and I were in high school. We had two toilets and within days, the whole three-story house absolutely reeked of urine. We'd flush if someone came over but the smell lingered and guests were disgusted. Thirty years later my parents still have this disgusting rule. Whenever you enter their home, the stench of urine hits you and these days they don't even bother to flush for guests, so to use their powder room is to see a bowl full of their accumulated piss in all its glory. There is a line between 'economical' and 'nuts' and I'm afraid these two crossed it years ago.

i never flush when i pee to save water, it never smelled like pee

You've probably just gotten used to the stench...

Keep a tally of every time you would have flushed but couldn't because of the rule. Then, when no one is home, flush that many times. The lack of a dent in the water bill may cause your father to reconsider his disgusting practices.

You don't pay the water bill do you.

- 96 cool story bro

#49 it's to save water dumb fuck and it's not that hard to stop the piss smell all you have to do it put down the toilet lid and flush once a day if no one pooped but hey everyone else's ideas seem great

Huh. Didn't think anyone actually followed that 'rule'.

What if it's green? =P

Men's pee smells more than ladies.

Just flush it. How will he know if you pooped or not? They'll just think you poop a lot.

Try get out of the city then. You usually follow it in the spring if you have a septic tank til it can be pumped. That said, you also flush every few pees too! You don't let it build for days.

Here's another rule for you: flush it fast and it will last, flush it slow and it will go

Yellow, yellow, dirty fellow!

Lol that's funny because you're asian :D

You are a dirty yellow fellow. Sorry. Couldn't resist.

^That's juvenile!

just flush the toilet, it can't be that bad.

Dude, f*ck the rule, flush the toilet. Seriously!

And if OP gets in trouble for flushing just piss, she should just start eating everything that makes her shit a lot.

Op. could piss in the sink!? past FML?

Yeah and if he doesn't let you flush tell him their tons of bacteria in pee and you read and article if you get other peoples pee on you and when you get sick it will be 62% harder to get better due to the extra bacteria. (not true but oh well)

...yeah...piss is sterile >.> but nice try!

Technically it's sterile, as it leaves your body. The second it hits a bowl which contains trace fecal matter it's not

Flush and say you happen to poop allot. He's not going to come in and check the bowl for poo before allowing you to flush is he? Or pee in the yard. Or just close the toilet lid and walk around with air freshener. Good luck!

That awkward moment now that everytime you flush everyone knows you were pooing ......

It's a natural human thing to do! Only young immature kids worry about people knowing they took a dump

Soo I said awkward I didn't say I'm embarrassed or worried I just said everyone knows when everyone poos. And actually the people who are fastest to name call like u hinting I'm immature are usually the immature ones...

The worst part is taking a horrific dump into a toilet filled with group pee and having the 'backsplash' hit you.

Yes! That is totally disgusting !!! :P

You mean "His whole house smells like pee." You don't have a house. Get a job and find your own place where you can waste water shamelessly.

Get a life and quit being such a dick

Waste water? The OP is in Colorado. I didn't know there is a water shortage in Colorado...

There's water in the Colorado river, but I think Nevada and California own the rights to quite a bit of it. What are you gonna do?

Boomhauer18- You need to stop your little bitching everytime somebody makes a remotely rude comment. It's the WORLD WIDE web, you can't convince everyone on it to stop being a jerk. Most of the time you just yell at people making corrections, when such mistakes can complete alter the perspective/meaning of the comment. Plus, perdix is well respected on FML and makes a pretty viable point in his comment.

Cause its that easy, op! Gosh.

Can no one take a joke anymore

I will say what i want to say and you can shut the hell up.

42- I am fully aware you can say what you want, just letting you know that the context of your comments usually come across as bitching. Such as both of your comments on this thread.

On that note: Boomhauer can get on the ground an bite a curb. Oh, and FYL OP. :)

Guys, seriously... When is Perdix ever serious? For a site that's made to entertain, there are definitely an overwhelming amount of humorless sods. |the kid|

Boomhauer18, now i see why there is someone putting a gun in your mouth.

42 If you can say what ever the fuck YOU want so can we. Now GTFO!!!

Boomhauer 18, perhaps you should take your own advice and get a life. It's always amusing to see someone who is a dick with no life tell someone else to stop being a dick and get a life. You sir, are a moron.

I'm guessing the OP is still a teenager.

What if it's red???

"If it's red, call a med" "if it's green, that shit is mean" "if it's blue, it's going to fuck you" Any other colours?

hahah! eww

Haha... You get my kudos Darwinism.

Do it in the bed!

15 - I challenge you to make one for purple ;)

Challenge accepted: "if it's purple, you're going to hirple...because you have torn your curple"

What about black?

If it's black, your shit is wack!

if it's black, get an ice pack. Handle as "if it's red", and call a med!

I dont think you need an ice pack for a black turd. Black eye maybe but definatly not a black turd.

66, if the turd is black it's been in for too long! Something is definetly wrong. Ice your bum and go see a doctor asap.

72 - are you a scatologist? Lol

80, I wanted to be one but I don't know crap about the field. Apparently all I wrote was shit on the exam.

Turquoise!

Aquamarine. xD Or Periwinkle.

"If it's purple, it might be hurl." Or "if it's purple, flush and watch it swirl." "If it's black, check your ball sack"?...

MEET THE FOCKERS!

A stinky pee sounds like unhealthy pee.. (same with yellow drink water)

Not necessarily, asparagus can give you really stinky pee.

Actually studies have shown that it may not be friendly to the kidneys.. I also doubt that they eat it everyday.. But then again you never know.....

Stinky pee can be a health issue or they just dont drink water enough u wouldnt know without a urine culture

Bear Grylls dream house??