Intimacy

It was an 'Oh Jesus.. Ive had you between my legs and now you're the decider on whether or not I actually get to make money off of my brand new nursing degree' moment. :-D

Odd behavior

By Anon - 05/01/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

agreeclassic 38 486

vote type 1 4 677

By thankzbabe - 04/01/2012 12:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

agreeclassic 36 245

vote type 1 5 581

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

agreeclassic 39 901

vote type 1 5 990

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

agreeclassic 50 326

vote type 1 7 902

By Anonymous - 01/01/2012 18:09 - Canada

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

agreeclassic 36 969

vote type 1 10 893

Shower sex time?

By mark - 31/12/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

agreeclassic 12 701

vote type 1 40 283

By atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 18 456

vote type 1 31 920

By nickthetank - 31/12/2011 09:21 - Canada

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

agreeclassic 59 011

vote type 1 12 255

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

agreeclassic 49 451

vote type 1 10 020

Morality?

By Grossed Out - 29/12/2011 08:16 - United States

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

agreeclassic 35 877

vote type 1 3 140

By blegh - 27/12/2011 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

agreeclassic 48 173

vote type 1 8 892

By ;)loganberry(; - 27/12/2011 17:58 - United States

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

agreeclassic 12 703

vote type 1 50 461

By gtfoocd - 27/12/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

agreeclassic 35 855

vote type 1 7 295

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

agreeclassic 42 758

vote type 1 10 255

The struggle is real

By Sally - 26/12/2011 11:48 - Australia

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

agreeclassic 39 706

vote type 1 5 851

Holes

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 00:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

agreeclassic 36 976

vote type 1 5 428

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

agreeclassic 50 442

vote type 1 6 316

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

agreeclassic 48 047

vote type 1 9 196

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

agreeclassic 32 188

vote type 1 1 945

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

agreeclassic 51 227

vote type 1 8 340

Today, my dad sent me back and forth repeatedly to the auto parts store for a replacement headlight bulb. He kept insisting that what I brought back was the wrong bulb. I had to drag him there to show I was getting the right one by asking the clerk. He's wrong, but is mad at me for embarrassing him in front of the staff. FML

agreeclassic 523

vote type 1 89

Today, I was alone at work after everyone had gone home and started practicing my "cool" walk for a date I was going on after leaving the office. As I was strutting around, the doors of a conference room opened to a group of my coworkers, including my boss. They hadn't all gone home, and they'd seen everything. FML

agreeclassic 109

vote type 1 610

Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML

agreeclassic 501

vote type 1 178