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By
enriquepp
| 4
Well I guess instead of masturbating you can call it snake handling now.
By
daviddupree
| 0
That sucks dude
Comments
By
daviddupree
| 0
That sucks dude
Reply
aruam365
| 24
Why is she dating you if she doesn't want to do anything sexual with you? I know sex isn't everything but it's damn important.
Reply
LaughinStock
| 16
Op maybe shes rooting for the other team and she's just with you for another reason. :-/
Reply
SecretMe00
| 5
That's what I was thinking 20.. OP's girlfriend seems like she'd have more fun with me then him. Lol
Reply
Feared
| 9
Actually, it doesn't "suck".
Reply
swankmrpancake
| 8
It might suck she said she wouldn't touch it she never said she wouldn't blow it
Reply
dominic1221
| 6
39- Uh-oh, get ready to be buried by all the defensive teenagers and other "men" that can't imagine actually controlling their little dicks. :O
Reply
ehllychan
| 10
#39 It's not the most important, but it's one thing if she says she's not ready *yet*, and another entirely different one if she says that she'll *never* want to get close to his dick.
Reply
DjeePee
| 24
True, 49, true. But I think that the most important thing in this issue is her age. If she's seventeen and find penises slash intercourse horrifying, then she (and OP) has a serious issue. However, if she's about 14 years old, time will probably change her opinion about this subject.
Your comment made me remember the 14-year-old "I will never give a blowjob because it's disgusting!" me. The *never* has become a lie, eventhough I was really convinced about it at that time. So let's hope that OP's girlfriend will also become more mature about it. Sex isn't everything, but I think it's the most deeply and intense expression of the love between two human beings.
Your comment made me remember the 14-year-old "I will never give a blowjob because it's disgusting!" me. The *never* has become a lie, eventhough I was really convinced about it at that time. So let's hope that OP's girlfriend will also become more mature about it. Sex isn't everything, but I think it's the most deeply and intense expression of the love between two human beings.
Reply
HaniahAhmad
| 0
What do you mean 'are not that important?' shouldn't it be 'is not that important?' I'm no grammar nazi, but that mistake is a grade school error...
Reply
dominic1221
| 6
If you bothered checking his profile you'd see he lives in Vestfold which is in Norway, so English probably isn't his first language, moron. You're not a Grammar Nazi - you're an idiot looking for an internet fight.
Reply
HypnoClown
| 0
I don't think it's right to say she has a serious issue if she's 17 and finds a penis horrifying - she might be a lesbian.
Reply
n_epic_fail
| 14
No, it doesn't "suck."
Reply
desireev
| 17
If a woman still feels that way at the age of 21, then there's a problem. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 years old. And, up until I turned 20, I still was really uncomfortable with it.
I think 21 is a safe age for one to know if they're sexually comfortable or not.
OP, give her time. She may come around. When the time does come around, let her know how you feel about it. Sex is nothing to be disgusted about or ashamed of. It just needs to happen at the right time when the feelings are mutual between the two of you. Hang in there, OP! :)
I think 21 is a safe age for one to know if they're sexually comfortable or not.
OP, give her time. She may come around. When the time does come around, let her know how you feel about it. Sex is nothing to be disgusted about or ashamed of. It just needs to happen at the right time when the feelings are mutual between the two of you. Hang in there, OP! :)
Reply
boopityboppity
| 10
Keep in mind, 49, that the FML is written from the OP's point of view; the "never" may be an exaggeration. An alternate possibility, for example, is that she just doesn't want to in the immediate future, and the OP may have misunderstood or misrepresented her wording.
Reply
drdraaman
| 0
You really had to bring that into this? :P
Reply
downtime
| 12
43, Prepare to be thumbed up by the narrow minded self involved assholes who can't accept that others may have a different way of thinking about their own lives and that, despite being none of your fucking business, because it doesn't ascribe to the definitive romantic archetype it must therefore be wrong.
Reply
dominic1221
| 6
That's fine, but the people who thumbed this guy down just for saying (neutrally, non-offensively) that sex isn't a big deal to him, are pretty easy to read. Besides, what makes you think your input is welcomed? Go post your long winded, pretentious, crap somewhere else. You must have a lot of time on your hands to go constantly trying sucking the humor out of every other FML and taking the side of the underdog even when you obviously don't buy into the views you're defending. Very sad. Act your age.
Reply
downtime
| 12
What gave you the idea I thought my input is welcomed? I don't really care if it is or isn't...It exists, get over it. I appreciate that you seem to be following my comments though. I'll be sure to post more often so you've got something worth reading.
By
RoseCrystal
| 17
There's a first time for everything.
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Feared
| 9
Well at least you don't have to worry about Indiana Jones molesting you.
Reply
JurassicHole
| 5
It's because of her pussy troll, Pillowpants, she doesn't want him to bite your "thing" off.
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The_Troller
| 14
Ummm... wut?
Reply
JurassicHole
| 5
78 - Watch the movie "Clerks 2", I was referencing a scene from the movie. It's also, in my opinion, one of the funniest movies around.
By
tennisrapper1
| 14
Guess you're not getting any! :(
Reply
EduJav321
| 24
You don't say
Reply
SirSquishyPants
| 1
I think he did
By
asiandude801
| 4
And she's your girlfriend why?
Reply
I_AmTheStig
| 0
Because a relationship is more than just sex? Maybe she's a super model or something and doesn't want to have sex or something. And she is just teasing him really bad.
Reply
kcircuses
| 1
or maybe she's a bitch
Reply
TraeThaTruth07
| 7
Forgive my confusion but... What does being a supermodel have to do with not wanting to have sex? What did I miss?
Reply
kcircuses
| 1
or maybe she's a bitch
Reply
Bladian
| 5
32, just stop. Would you seriously date someone that joked around about something like that and, apparently, had ZERO interest in sex? Yeah, relationships aren't all about sex. But there has to be some degree of intimacy.
Reply
Lythiaren
| 8
Agreed, 62. But asexuality is an actual thing, despite the gross misrepresentation on House a little while ago. 'Intimacy' does not require sex.
Reply
ProhibitionRose
| 14
Or maybe she's a bitchy lesbian? And just doesn't realize the lesbian part?
Reply
KeyboardWarrior
| 10
An asexual creature is one that reproduces on its own if I'm correct... Correct me if I'n wrong but human beings are not nor have ever been asexual.
Reply
Asexual for humans means "not interested by sex"
Reply
wlddog
| 14
There is no way anyone would date a woman that would refuse to ever touch her mans penis. Unless of course that man WANTS a life void of pleasure. Have heard of self mutilating people before. Maybe she can eventually find someone that hates themselves enough to stick around her.
Reply
tygerarmy
| 35
Unless you're still in high school you should probably break up with her.
Reply
Lythiaren
| 8
94, that's asexual reproduction. Asexuality as it applies to humans is an identity or an orientation. You know, like how 'homosexual' is an orientation.
102, you're just a little off the mark. It's not a simple disinterest, we actually don't experience sexual attraction. Many aces do have sex drives and enjoy the act of sex, but to some of us it's little more than recreation, and has about as much meaning in our partnerships as going out to lunch. It's just a thing.
102, you're just a little off the mark. It's not a simple disinterest, we actually don't experience sexual attraction. Many aces do have sex drives and enjoy the act of sex, but to some of us it's little more than recreation, and has about as much meaning in our partnerships as going out to lunch. It's just a thing.
Reply
MedKits
| 9
109- Sex is not the only to obtain pleasure...
Reply
wlddog
| 14
143- it doesn't matter what it can be used for, because he will be using it by himself. What possible good could ever come from a relationship where the woman refuses to be around his unit ever? It only causes mental pain for him his entire life. Yeah right, sign ME up for a lifetime of rejection.
Reply
wlddog
| 14
143- what kind of arts and crafts did you have in mind? Do you use yours to make ballon animals?
By
enriquepp
| 4
Well I guess instead of masturbating you can call it snake handling now.
Reply
Heinousness
| 0
Hahaha...
Not funny.
Not funny.
Reply
Heinousness
| 0
Haha...
Not funny. Not a good joke.
OP, nice girlfriend.
Not funny. Not a good joke.
OP, nice girlfriend.
Reply
enriquepp
| 4
Must have been better than you thought it didn't get downed in shame
By
ihateFMLJkxD
| 0
Maybe she'll get over it? ._.
Reply
MigraineurOfLife
| 15
He'd rather she 'get around it'!
By
diegoer
| 10
Get her to the zoo, maybe she likes hairy monkey tails ;)
Reply
I_AmTheStig
| 0
That wasn't funny. It should be more like: She should become a herpetologist and learn about millions of different kinds of snakes and ones that are okay to touch and ones that aren't.
Reply
SadDashie92
| 3
Why would she like hairy monkey tails -_-
Reply
ladyLALAA
| 28
60, your picture + comment made me laugh, you look like scared pony asking his mum.
Reply
FrankHotpants
| 30
Wait a minute, the Stig doesn't talk and most certainly would not make some of the worst comments on FML. Hey everyone 33's a phony! A big fat phony!
By
whitey53
| 5
The things about snakes is...they seem to attack
Reply
ydi_4_suking
| 20
This particular snake will happen spit up on her
Reply
SirSquishyPants
| 1
Some cases you have to have you hand around it for a while before it spits though.
Reply
ProhibitionRose
| 14
And in some cases it just spits on you with no warning D:
By
sm1ggl3
| 0
Damn, let's hope she changes her mind.
By
pulkit10
| 3
Well, you better find someone that is into touching snakes then.
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