Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
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By
krsimir
| 0
Should have used charmen toilet paper, no little white pieces left behind
By
ghostlilac
| 25
Doesn't matter had sex? :S
COMMENTS
By
ghostlilac
| 25
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
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RussianFox
| 13
OP's girlfriend should practice better hygiene down there.
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TexasJosh
| 0
Gah... Some things just make me cringe... I'll donate a bottle of Gentleman Jack to ya, so you can attempt to drown those memories.
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jokesta187
| 11
I'm betting she smelt great too! And don't forget the all you can eat crab dinner!
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1- I take it you're a half full kind of guy/gal, no?
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chum_mum
| 7
Since you said this, i have a feeling you don't bathe very often....
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ghostlilac
| 25
42 - Yeah, I'd rather not soak in my own dirt, I find that to be counter-productive. Showering is better. ;)
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kelley5745
| 3
Hahaha
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ladyLALAA
| 28
I always have a quick shower before/after taking a bath, otherwise I feel dirty.
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enonymous
| 8
If you need a machete, compass and map to do oral on your GF you're doing it wrong.
Next time hand her shaving cream... a disposable razor and some soap.
Next time hand her shaving cream... a disposable razor and some soap.
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TheStoryOfWazza
| 9
You'll still eat her out tho.
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kateRAWR
| 4
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
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mboehm88
| 3
Sometimes you gotta be a trooper and do your due diligence OP
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Calyx_fml
| 21
She needs to clean that crotch lickety split!
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chrisharrell23
| 0
Totally agree even no one else seems to. It's called personal hygiene... Ugh... I don't even want to imagine the smell.... Puked in my mouth a little... :/
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I_heart_sex
| 1
Ewwwwwwww
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RedPillSucks
| 31
@157. He was trying to lick and spit.
Is that close enough to lickity split??
Is that close enough to lickity split??
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KRS_13
| 0
This is one of the few fmls that actually make me want to vomit. *shudder*
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shinshoku13
| 19
Haha i know kyary pamyu pamyu... To bad u do too...
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tjv3
| 10
That is so gross. Hope you didnt get something that Ajax can't wash off
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digitaljunky
| 5
"she put a bag on my head.... Still counts! "
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effedml
| 5
But WHY did OP go thru w/it anyway? He needs to set some boundaries as to what he'll put his mouth on. Yuck.
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xgetxbentx
| 13
Unfortunately that little phrase doesn't ALWAYS apply. It can get pretty fucking gross if a girl doesn't keep her lady parts clean. Like, you probably wouldn't even want to stick a 10ft pole in some girls's snatches.
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Christel239
| 5
Few people will understand this comment
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wolfshadow
| 4
So he can lickety her split correctly!
Too much?
Too much?
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iimaPrincess
| 4
How ironic I'm listening to that right now!(;
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yupitssoph
| 18
312-that's not irony, that is a coincidence.
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keenflow
| 2
8- or to get the taste out of his mouth lol. Doesn't sound like it would be too appetizing..
By
bigtaytay
| 13
.....gross.....
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DrDilllonReese
| 12
Yeah, and for those who didn't read the fml closely (I know they're out there) thats only the start. I shudder at the thought of what was next.
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slick5880
| 22
I bet it involved a cup.
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jizzwold
| 21
I don't see why he didn't just have her shower first
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skullcandifiedDJ
| 5
39- I seee where you're goin there ;)
*pukes*
*pukes*
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forest1wolf
| 9
This poor soul...
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Ha1r1nY0S0up
| 15
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
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Abraa
| 19
My thoughts exactly. Or why she was willing to let him go down on her when her genitals were in such a state in the first place.
By
astew_xo
| 4
Worst thing I have ever heard.. You Poor thing..
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pancakerocks
| 1
this is one of the few fmls that i actually feel really bad for op
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astew_xo
| 4
I know me too!!
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ididntdoit1980
| 8
It could be worse if she wiped back to front.
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fugazeeb
| 0
243. how do u know she didn't wipe back to front?
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Scarlettx7
| 0
Should of been like let's do it in the shower lol
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randomT
| 3
I'm never going to unsee the image that just popped into my head
By
krsimir
| 0
Should have used charmen toilet paper, no little white pieces left behind
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yahoowizard
| 16
And I thought that wasn't possible
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twisted_cherub
| 14
I hate clitty litter. Cottonelle is awesome for avoiding it too.
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mikeymayhem_87
| 15
Clitty litter?! That's a new one!! Rofl
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xxmeowxx43
| 1
LOL.
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ShadesOfBlue5
| 9
I've never seen a bear take so much pride in wiping its butt
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shoopd
| 19
Clitty litter...my god. I'm writing that down somewhere!
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danni218
| 1
Scott tp sucks it leaves stuff behind...suxs for the OP...
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jideare
| 3
I went From feeling very sorry for OP to pissing my shorts laughing at the phrase "clitty litter" OMFG. ????
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kirbeaar
| 19
Oh my god, clitty litter. Funniest thing I've read all day.
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kirbeaar
| 19
Whoops, replied to the wrong comment.
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maxmmoreau1
| 1
Shoulda told him it was that time of the month
By
HypnoClown
| 0
That's disgusting.
By
Zodiac666
| 0
She's nasty...
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KiRaKaT
| 9
When reading this all I could hear in my head was cleveland's voice (from family guy in case someone doesn't know)
By
kalgon
| 0
I can smell it from here....
By
Enslaved
| 36
TP fuzz-balls? Blah! Lesson learned, I bet. You gotta do the scratch and sniff test beforehand.
By
canonite
| 7
Ewwww'... She gotta clean that shit up . That's nasty .......
By
IdfkMyUsernamexC
| 5
You both need to have a long talk.