Outdoorsy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Spicy
Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 690
You deserved it 7 167

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Top comments

Doesn't matter, had sex

Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!

Comments

Bummer ..... Hey at least you guys were not mauled

Ya, that was almost a shitty situation.

You're supposed to make yourself look as big as possible when you encounter a bear OP not shrivel up lol

bwahaha it's the fucking woods OP maybe you expected all the woodland creatures to prance merrily and sing a joyful tune while you got it in or some shit like that

34- unless it's a grizzly in which case Op would've been royally fucked if he took your advice.

I laughed so hard I can bearly stand it. What wood you have done if it charged you? Next time don't fuck with someone else's territory.

I hate when I get cockblocked by bears

Today, I was trying to get some sleep due to having the bear-flu. Some obnoxious kids were having loud, inconsiderate sex right down the path, so I roared to get them to shut the hell up. Roaring made me puke on myself. FML ... Poor bear :(

46- Exactly. That advice should be followed towards black bears. Now for grizzly bears, you play dead. If it's a polar, say your prayers...

He probably just wanted to get in on some of the action...

I'm pretty sure the bear felt left out. Next time, you should consider the bear's feelings. Maybe give the bear a good fucking.* *100% chance of death |the kid|

Doesn't matter, had sex

Had sex. Encountered bear. No orgasm. Blue balls. Almost shit self. Yep, obviously nothing else matters.

I stopped reading after "had sex".

Ya 33 stopped reading after Had Sex. Nice Pic btw

It is a nice pic that cat is so pretty, screw the human cats rule! :D

She's kissing her pussy... Well i guess that's worth a positive comment.... :)

I LOVE YOU!!!

Lol the cat kinda looks pissed off but yea good pic

Sounds embearassing

I had to paws and think about that before I got it.

Lucky the bear didn't get OP- then they might have needed a rebear kit.

He turned soft inside her quick haha

^combo breaker.

I would have added a claws or two about not fucking in the woods, but ... no need to state the obvious. |the kid|

What? So no more sex in the woods? Lolol.

My God, Holmes! How do you do it?

No, the bear just makes it more risque

Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!

Ugh...I'm trying not to picture those bare bodies...and bear body.

Kinky. ;) Tap that "bear" ass!

That comment is a win. ^^^

This comment made my day! Haha

No I real man would have shot the bear and not missed a stroke. Plus then you have food and a rug to relax on.

23- You have cheesy jokes

Unfortunately, 5, that bear was probably a pedobear.

Bear... Bear fucker... Do you need assistance?

Riding 'bear' back

Lmfao no kidding

Might of been Yogi coming after her picnic basket.

"Hey boo boo howa bouts a pik a nic basket". That immediately popped in my head.

I'm smarter than the average bear a Boo Boo.

tweetbaby14 18

More like the bear could smell the fresh scent of salmon. To the bear's dismay, it was only a girl and her boyfriend that could not afford a hotel.

Yes 47. Her.

I hope you didn't use a leaf as a 'natural' condom.

Nope, they went bearback.

28 - very well played sir.

I agree that was very well done 28

I agree t....*gets shot in the face*.

116, nice try hard move there.

Good! That'll teach you your lesson!

what lesson? they wanted to try something more kinky then some random room in their house

Agreed, of course, that is if you're implying

Ignore my previous comment. FML and auto correct have teamed up on me. Anyway, what I was saying is that I'm in agreement if the point was that they deserve a scare because they've learned nothing from horror movies. At that moment an actual serial killer could've been there to abduct you! You ignorant children know nothing about the dangers of making love in the WOODS.

I think the bear was hitting on your girl, OP. They always did have a way with words.

Lost your wood in the woods.