Outdoorsy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Spicy
Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 799
You deserved it 7 220

Same thing different taste

Top comments

beccaishereyay 11
mama2b3 20

Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!

Comments

jojimugo 20

Bummer ..... Hey at least you guys were not mauled

Ya, that was almost a shitty situation.

You're supposed to make yourself look as big as possible when you encounter a bear OP not shrivel up lol

bwahaha it's the ******* woods OP maybe you expected all the woodland creatures to prance merrily and sing a joyful tune while you got it in or some shit like that

34- unless it's a grizzly in which case Op would've been royally ****** if he took your advice.

thiscrazything 1

I laughed so hard I can bearly stand it. What wood you have done if it charged you? Next time don't **** with someone else's territory.

MiniNyn 5

Today, I was trying to get some sleep due to having the bear-flu. Some obnoxious kids were having loud, inconsiderate sex right down the path, so I roared to get them to shut the hell up. Roaring made me puke on myself. FML ... Poor bear :(

KiddNYC1O 20

46- Exactly. That advice should be followed towards black bears. Now for grizzly bears, you play dead. If it's a polar, say your prayers...

JocelynKaulitz 28

He probably just wanted to get in on some of the action...

I'm pretty sure the bear felt left out. Next time, you should consider the bear's feelings. Maybe give the bear a good *******.* *100% chance of death |the kid|

beccaishereyay 11

Had sex. Encountered bear. No ******. Blue balls. Almost shit self. Yep, obviously nothing else matters.

beccaishereyay 11

I stopped reading after "had sex".

Ya 33 stopped reading after Had Sex. Nice Pic btw

It is a nice pic that cat is so pretty, screw the human cats rule! :D

She's kissing her pussy... Well i guess that's worth a positive comment.... :)

cobaltss06 1

Lol the cat kinda looks pissed off but yea good pic

vintagemeow 6

I had to paws and think about that before I got it.

vintagemeow 6

Lucky the bear didn't get OP- then they might have needed a rebear kit.

sickjairo 7

He turned soft inside her quick haha

I would have added a claws or two about not ******* in the woods, but ... no need to state the obvious. |the kid|

nickharbut 6

What? So no more sex in the woods? Lolol.

mama2b3 20

Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!

Ugh...I'm trying not to picture those bare bodies...and bear body.

MetalxSoldier 26

Kinky. ;) Tap that "bear" ass!

black6 1

No I real man would have shot the bear and not missed a stroke. Plus then you have food and a rug to relax on.

Unfortunately, 5, that bear was probably a pedobear.

Bear... Bear ******... Do you need assistance?

Might of been Yogi coming after her picnic basket.

"Hey boo boo howa bouts a pik a nic basket". That immediately popped in my head.

AdamBasebal69 0

I'm smarter than the average bear a Boo Boo.

tweetbaby14 18

More like the bear could smell the fresh scent of salmon. To the bear's dismay, it was only a girl and her boyfriend that could not afford a hotel.

I hope you didn't use a leaf as a 'natural' condom.

soothesayer17 0

I agree that was very well done 28

Jakesterk96 8

I agree t....*gets shot in the face*.

Birdie_Sage 0

Good! That'll teach you your lesson!

what lesson? they wanted to try something more kinky then some random room in their house

Agreed, of course, that is if you're implying

Ignore my previous comment. FML and auto correct have teamed up on me. Anyway, what I was saying is that I'm in agreement if the point was that they deserve a scare because they've learned nothing from horror movies. At that moment an actual serial killer could've been there to abduct you! You ignorant children know nothing about the dangers of making love in the WOODS.

ThecomingofTan 9

I think the bear was hitting on your girl, OP. They always did have a way with words.