Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm as she was lying on her back. I asked her, "How do you like that, baby?" She responded by asking where I bought my suspended ceiling and spotlights, as she thought they would look good in her flat. She apparently got bored instead of turned on. FML
Today, while playing a game, my girlfriend told a bunch of our friends that she's never had an orgasm. News to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
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Top comments
jazziness 12
Doesn't matter, had sex.
tripangelx8 4
the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed
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Comments (136)
jewebb92 5
Wth were u doin?
cheaptrix 6
How do you manage to misspell 3 out of the 4 words used in your comment?
raney150 0
Technically that person only misspelled 2 words. Wth stands for "What the hell".
cheaptrix 6
Abbreviate*
emmagillespie24 11
Wth were u (you really couldnt add y and o?) doin ( and a g. Seriously? 3 letters made it look sloppy$
meggy590 6
Calm down. It's the Internet, not an english class. If spelling errors bug you that much than why are you on FML?
Annpop 1
So tru 31 :P
KiddNYC1O 22
FML has rules, kids.
jazziness 12
Doesn't matter, had sex.
G0odgrief 0
why does someone always say this?
InstantRanbowMix 0
I just had sex - little island ft akon. It's extremely overused.
shelbzlynn 14
Lonely Island*
ShawnzieNstuff 6
It was hilarious like the first 10 times though. Haha
YdoIhaveAchode 4
Lol @ little island
nofearjenshere 12
It's definitely getting old, on basically every FML in the intimacy category someone says it :p
MrGroovy28 7
Typically the people who post that nonsense either don't have the opportunity to have sex or settle for any type of sexual interaction regardless of results.
omarzrgz 3
Shouldn't it be "Doesn't matter, had oral sex" in this case?
Boss402 0
Agreed
HollyDolly660 8
Am I the only one who wants to know what the website is? I want to leave a link to it on my boyfriend's phone...
biggestfan23 11
#75 if you really wanted to find out just type it into google...
Devor 5
Wow lol! Ur funny xD
israelnotjacob 20
Yeah I'm sick of that dam joke. The idea that no matter what happens the fact that you had sex always overrides it was funny at first, but now it's just plain annoying. You're not funny when you can't think of more than one good joke in your lifetime.
DenBriZel 31
am I the only one who still thinks this is funny every time? I love The Lonely Island. :)
hateevryone 15
Hahaha you weren't doing something right
iLikeSportz33 0
No shit?
blackbelt25 12
You don't say?
micahsmommy 13
At least he cared enough to try. Maybe his girlfriend will be kind enough to help him get it right next time.
emilyjgraham 34
it might have been, it might have felt amazing but if you look funny you'll get a giggle or two. she'll get over it when she gets used to it. keep it up OP! dedicated!
yupitssoph 18
Wonderful username.
tripangelx8 4
the article should have warned you to tell her to keep her eyes closed
Marteeny23 19
Soooo where's comment 1???
MoodyBlue320 11
Can you send that article to my boyfriend? Maybe that way i'll ****** for once. =P
coried91 28
Sex isn't everything. If you want to have an ****** then show him what you want and don't be a bitch about it on FML.
hattergonemad 10
How *you* doin'? *winks*
Guren 0
Damn... Try again.
JnottoVII 1
Good idea. Keep at it till you get it right.
muurph 4
Im guessing it didn't work?
hawkey126 0
Durrrr.
salsa324 0
Dude he's being sarcastic nothing to Durrr about
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Haha I'd love to know what you were trying on her!
kerrwoof 13
Well by the sounds of it, he was going down on her. I have a disturbing yet funny mental image.
guinea14 0
Haha 10, so do I.
TomPusslicker 21
it was well worded. I cant stop thinking about giraffes bobbing for apples. Gotta say op, your gf has a way with words. Good luck on the next go.
j_cat187 20
#74 I hope not. Op would have bigger problems if his gf was that wide.
I_Hug_Cats 26
Error 404. Please try again later... Or in this case, maybe you shouldn't.
Rathe 0
It's all in the wrist, bro.
LemonandLime 13
I think the op was using his face.
effedml 5
Yeah...but he should've been using his hand.
RachIzHere 0
Or both!! xD
Cubanloverllera 12
no its not
CTVrhythmguitari 8
If you'd read the fine print, you would have noticed that the "Circus Animal" position is only effective on about 1 in 8,634 girls. And even that is pushing it. Better luck next time buddy.