By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 452
You deserved it 11 339

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redmnky21 8

wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex

How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex


redmnky21 8

wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex

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amandajlucas2015 2

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EvilDave 13

@63: Seeing as the boyfriend doesn't even know the basic mechanics of sex, which are taught in middle school, I think asking about age is a very valid question.

hubla 0

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84, the person who wrote that also posted to ignore it.

Lots of parent won't let their kids go to school on the days of sex ed. My friend was one of them. Over protective parent syndrome can be bad for future bedroom "endeavors," haha.

1- I disagree. As far as sex ed classes go, it's pretty cut-and-paste from the text book (ie "penis+******=sex"). They don't tell you anything about the specifics and just because OP didn't do it exactly right, it doesn't mean he's too young. From the FML, it sounds as though he is just inexperienced, considering OP had to 'coax' him into having sex. Anyways, that's just my ten cents...

#1 if he went to a catholic school he may not have got any sex ed, I never at my school. It really doesn't have anything to do with age. She shouldn't have pressured him cause it sounds like he wasn't ready for it. I'm guessing from his actions that they probably haven't played about so maybe they should have started there first.

Xxlaurahatakexx 9

I don't think little kids would know such big words. Just sayin. And also she seems to see te obvious stupidity in her mans ways

In my catholic school they taught us sex ed in eighth grade.

dcg1375 7

Possibly inexperienced, but maybe after 18 months of "coaxing" he was too nervous to perform. Especially if it was their first time together. If it had organically happened then there probably wouldn't have been any issues.

I'm not saying I'm in middle school(which I am) but they dont teach about sex at my school in science they just say everyone knows right then says how babies our made then some people came and taught us that sex is pleasurable but u will die if you do it and condoms don't work

Cat_Daniels 6

WHAT THE FUCK? #180 you school is weird. When I was in middle school were VERY informed!

hotscar 3

180, that is such bullshit. Thats propaganda to try to keep you from having sex... Possibly from a Catholic organization... By the way, I'm Catholic, so don't say I'm trying to bash Catholics

guckylynn 19
JRockk 2

None of my schools have even offered sex ed... I'm sure all 4 of those schools aren't the only ones.

Oh god. I had to thumb 180 up. Not sure if serious or trollin, but the entire dying thing reminded me of if you have sex you'll get pregnant & die thing. Which reminded me of the XML where their single abstinence pushing teacher got pregnant. ^.^

My middle school did not have sex Ed, and my high school barely had a pathetic offshoot of sex ed. I didn't have it, but i still did fine.

I think it depends on what school you go to. My school went into pretty explicit detail in sex-ed classes and taught us A LOT about sex, safe sex, different types of birth control, menstruation, birth, etc. But my friend went to a Catholic school that only taught abstinence. My friend didn't even know what a condom looked like until she was about 18 or 19. If a guy tried to stick a flaccid penis into her, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't know they were doing it wrong!

Or he could just be gay. That's a very fair assumption to make too

Omg mean girls? Don't have sex cause you will get an STD and die....

#1- you're the one with an animated picture as your default .. Just saying

92 You don't choose classes in middle school.

*you're *too. It sounds like you're too young for this website....

After reading some of these replies, I'm kind of curious... Am I the only one who never had a sex ed course in school? I graduated high school two months ago, and I've always gone to public schools.

Your grammar makes you sound like you're way too young to be on the Internet, and yet... here you are.

How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex

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I don't mean this to be insulting but is it possible that he is actually gay? Another idea; maybe he just doesn't find op attractive which could understandably ruin their relationship. Or she just pushed him into something he didn't want. We need more information to solve these questions.

It's not that she shouldn't *have to* persuade him to have sex, just in general you should not try to coerce people into having sex.

He could be an Asexual.... in the relationship for the romantic component, but did not want sex

Well we know he's at least 18 months old..

22cute 17

Really, but if you did the persuading you should take charge of the seduction and foreplay. You can't really expect him to know what to do.

Apparently I've been doing it all wrong. Is that why I got pregnant?

either you finger the girl so that she's wet or u put lub. or else it's hella painful.!

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Torva_fml 16

I didn't even wait for the countdown to thumb you down! :D

I would edit the comment to "cue thumb downs [...] in 0", but it's too late.

If you knew it was a shitty pun an you'd get thumbed down they why would you say it?

29- He was expecting this: "No way, that was the best and most original pun I've ever heard!! I would never thumb down something so brilliant and not at all overused! You're so clever!" Fishing for approval. Smh.

36 - Wrong. I have been on FML long enough and I have seen enough "shitty/sticky/whatever-y situation" comments to know it would be thumbed down. Now, I'd let you all have a debate for hours about whether I'm stupid or intelligent (no doubt the answer would be I'm stupid), how stupid I am exactly and why I wrote this comment, but no. I just wrote this comment because it was punny and just for the sake of it. Oh, and thank you for making a baseless assumption. Glad to see FMLers changed. SMH.

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47- now you just made yourself look really stupid. Can't even read something that is actually pretty short.

Ahh, but I thumbed it down with love. :)

godisnowhere41 5

I'm surprised to see this comment was too long for you yet your previous responses on this fml have been equal if not longer than his.

jaystreet46 4

Damn squirrel, getting the hate on this one!

Birdie_Sage 0

May your comment rest in peace...

MrBoredomioo 18
addie19 6

Should have been a year of teaching, not coaxing.

Torva_fml 16

I don't even..... Just... What the ****...? In the presence of ******, my penis is far from flaccid, is this only me?

My penis inverts when it sees a ******. Vagina be scurry D:

Nightwing98 22

Nope, definitely not just you.

Tweekz14 5

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LoveMay 10

83 - Flaccid: soft, limp, or lacking firmness As in he is not arroused and does not have a boner.

KiddNYC1O 20

83- Flaccid is the opposite of how girls want to see it.

124 I don't think that's something you want to google...

You play/played Runescape. I can tell by your name.

It's a non-hard penis, regular state..

daftPunKt 4

Dont pressure little boys into having sex, then maybe you wouldn't have this problem

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Torva_fml 16

Flaccid penis=not arroused. Fuck you for insinuating someone being gay. :)

1. You're a girl 2. You're an immature stupid 10 year old who doesn't understabd that the stress of having sex for the first time, either in absolute or with one particular girlfriend, can cause you to be unable to have an erection. In the first case, you can maybe be excused. In the second case, GTFO of FML. Feel free to pick either :)

Oh, and that was for 9. 11's comment had not yet appeared when I was typing my comment. Apologies for any offense caused by my lack of precision.

Llamacod 11

So, according to the following equation: penis + ****** = straightFlaccid penis + ****** = gay this penis + ****** = gay. I always thought that penis + ****** was the definition of hetero. Your math = retarded. know...waited until he was actually ready.

1crabbygirl 10

Maybe this means, oh I don't know, that HE ISN'T READY FOR SEX? Why the **** would you try to coax him into doing something that he obviously doesn't want to do? If the situation were reversed and he were trying to get you to have sex with him even though you didn't want to, how do you think THAT would go? I think the FML community would call him an asshole and have his head on a stake for pressuring a girl into having sex. Therefore, YOU'RE the asshole, and I call for your head on a stake.

I call for her head on a barbecue. But that's just me, I doubt there are many other psychos here.

Torva_fml 16

I'll bring the steak, you can do whatever you want with her head. Oh, a wooden stake? Not steak? Hmm...

Thank you! Just cause OP is a girl doesn't mean pressuring for sex is acceptable.

I'll take the head, no questions asked...

Thumbs up to you doc! I was actually surprised that more people didn't flame you. Screw the double standards, it should be the same both ways! I shouldn't talk though, I'm 26 and still saving it for marriage. The right woman just hasn't come along yet

Agreed, she should learn a lot of patience.

twisted_cherub 14

Agreed, Doc. This is the equivalent to a guy saying, "Today, my girlfriend finally agreed to have sex with me after a year of badgering her about it. When we were about to, she started crying and ran to the bathroom. FML" Nobody would be saying that girl was a lesbian and they'd be tearing fictitious OP a new one.

I agree doc. I don't know why so many people are calling him gay. He obviously just was not ready

Luckyman22 5

Keep it up Doc! Always enjoy reading you posts.

Sparklegirl216 0

Oh they have been dating for a while. It's not that he wasn't ready, he's just not experienced. Don't threaten to do bad things with her head now:p