Animals

(This is my FML, made an account after the submission...) plethora, orchids run about $20-30 and the cat had eaten ALL of it. Not just the flowers...stem too. So I don't think it's going to grow back. Orchids are delicate. :)

By Jen - 11/02/2011 09:02

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 920

You deserved it 6 358

By fetch boy.. - 05/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Bellmore

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 544

You deserved it 18 333

By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 558

You deserved it 40 851

By Chatons - 05/12/2013 06:52 - Switzerland

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 270

You deserved it 7 937

Agent of chaos

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 05:00

Today, I left my car window slightly open while I went shopping. When I returned, I discovered that what I assume to be a mischievous squirrel had got into my car and chewed through the wires in my dashboard, causing extensive damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 234

Who are you?

By WTF - 12/07/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I know there's something wrong with my cat when his meowing starts to sound really weird. But just now, his meow has gotten so unusual that he actually scared the shit out of me. I thought it was an entirely different cat that got into my house before I looked back. Yeah, he's going to the vet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 180

Pugs not drugs

By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 518

You deserved it 5 515

Tumbleweed

By Anonymous - 14/08/2021 06:00 - Germany

Today, my mom was proud for making a positive change in her life. The change in question? She now throws away the smelly hair she combs out of the dog, instead of keeping it for unspecified later use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 64

By dEpPrEsSeDgIrL - 11/11/2009 11:28 - United States

Today, my dad decided to clean my 20 gallon fish tank. I had 6 fish. One of them was called a transparent fish, clear with a bright orange tail, which was my favorite. My dad didn't see it, and dumped the water out along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 940

You deserved it 3 928

Sociopaths

By piggies - 07/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 353

By alikat - 26/04/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I found out that the noise I thought was a mouse in my room was a water bottle shaking when my refrigerator turned on. I stayed up till 4am looking for a mouse that didn't exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 228

You deserved it 44 557

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 454

You deserved it 5 094

Today, my psycho ex tried to call the cops on me for "poisoning her food." I live two hours away from her, and have no money or gas to go anywhere near her. Turns out, she poisoned herself for eating raw chicken and pizza dough. I have a child with this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 364

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 307

You deserved it 22 205

Today, a few hours after me and my husband had sex, he mumbled, "This is why I hate sex," as he left to grab some Tylenol. Apparently, he's so out of shape that basic sex made his muscles too sore to sleep. This is the first time in two weeks we've had sex. I'm always the one that has to ask for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 353

You deserved it 348

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 573

You deserved it 2 960

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 96