By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States
By JC - 06/12/2009 04:30 - United States
By Anonymous - 02/10/2015 16:48 - United Kingdom - Norwich
By Anonymous - 25/09/2016 04:27 - United States - Cabot
Little cuties
By DanielleinDC - 22/05/2025 15:00 - United States
By incendiaaa - 24/02/2013 11:17 - Australia
By Auroraen - 28/06/2013 01:23 - United States - Oswego
Auroraen tells us more.
By JamiesMom - 13/05/2013 04:29 - United States - Trenton
JamiesMom tells us more.
Op here(: My son Jamie is a boy, our cat was too. I got him 8 years ago as a 1st anniversary gift from my husband. Aladdin(Cat's name) was already dead when our son tried to flush him, and Yes we've had many fish before. I hope that answers everyone's questions.
By 909 - 19/09/2009 23:19 - United Kingdom
Are Christmas cards still a thing?
By amywee - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
SHUT UP
By Rasta Pickles - 03/02/2023 06:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol
RIP Dipper
By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 06:00 - United States - San Jose
By Fucked - 16/01/2009 19:38 - United States
By Hiimhaileypotter - 14/07/2014 22:48 - United States - Fredericksburg
Hiimhaileypotter tells us more.
#12- They stay in the kitchen when I'm gone (I was at work), and the FML is really that I forgot thunderstorms were in the forecast. I was supposed to have turned on the stove fan to help mask the sound, but I forgot. :( Lol. It's not really a huge deal. Just a minor inconvenience!
By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States
By patient_mom - 14/06/2015 01:27 - Australia - Surrey Hills
Overcooked
By poopiemanlol - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada
My new friend
By *sneeze* - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
By leeseyxoxo - 27/03/2011 06:10 - United States
By moosemay - 06/02/2016 11:42 - Germany - W?rzburg
Chocolate chip
By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 14:00
When you lie on your resume to get the job
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff
Lazy day
By Fail - 17/03/2023 22:00 - United States
Stressed out
By mystermoon - 25/06/2019 16:00
By agent_awesome - 21/09/2011 15:25 - United Kingdom
agent_awesome tells us more.
i popped it out by holding down the other nostril and blowing.it was awkward. but atleast i gave the people a story to tell. one day when its not so fresh i will look back and laugh...i hope
By Radgirl - 28/04/2009 02:10 - United States
By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw
Anger issues
By Flash - 25/07/2021 14:01 - India - Bangalore
By Rapunzel1974 - 01/09/2013 04:29 - United States - Gulfport
Rapunzel1974 tells us more.
I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them. A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough. These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted. When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner
Keywords
OP here. Wow. Thanks for all the nice words, guys. My "puppy" is a 120lb, 9 month old Great Dane. Her name is Lily, and she is worse than Marmaduke and Marly put together. She is a total troublemaker. I had made zucchini bread, beef stew, a bunch of sides, as well as a cake. All of it was from scratch. I had actually put one of those baby gates across the entry-way to the kitchen, and she ended up knocking it over. Next time, I think she's going in the cage while I take a shower. And btw, I did just order a pizza. Everyone had a good laugh at me. And yes, she's practically impossible to stay mad at.