Animals

OP here. The carton of new litter was in the kitchen with the rest of the groceries I had brought in. Litter box is in the laundry room off the kitchen and it broke on the way there. woops!

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 155

You deserved it 638

By Anonymous - 31/07/2016 16:45 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 156

You deserved it 2 307

By themanzz - 08/10/2010 12:08 - Canada

Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 583

You deserved it 8 651

The chase

By Paula - 05/11/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 964

By wasted_gas - 05/10/2013 16:00 - United States - Cumming

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 815

You deserved it 27 058

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 792

You deserved it 10 803

Good doggo

By Alittlebitiffy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I spent an hour pulling poop-covered prickles out of my husky's butt. A duck had startled him while he was doing his business and his first thought was to run, mid-poop, into a prickle bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 860

You deserved it 832

By DeadlyKitten - 20/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Springfield

Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 182

You deserved it 725

Chain reaction

By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 358

You deserved it 4 049

Good girl

By Bento DaCosta - 12/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my dog went on a walk for the first time. 90% of the walk was spent removing leaves and grass from her mouth, and she didn't want to go back home. I think she thinks she's a cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 120

Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frightening

By Bamboozled - 23/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought I heard a nasty storm brewing, even though there was no warning that one would occur. I then realized it was one of my cats, stuck behind a chair and trying to escape with little success. Yes, her escape attempts were that noisy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 174

The masters have decided

By Misty Michelle Jones - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I purchased a rather expensive, self-cleaning litter box for my 4 cats. Now they're shitting outside of the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 051

You deserved it 525

Up and down

By Thanks, but... - 09/09/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boss that the reason I was sobbing hysterically as she told me that I was getting a pay raise was because I was going to the vet to have my sick and dying cat put down. Good news at a bad time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 109

Barfed out

By superbubbles - 23/03/2021 21:30 - Canada

Today, I threw up in bio when we dissected cow hearts. Guess that rules out my childhood passion as a possible career. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 150

Surprise!

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 641

You deserved it 654

Alexa, play "Ghosts" by Japan

By stuckathome - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 2 814

By kaileigh10 - 18/05/2011 03:04

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 049

You deserved it 50 613

kaileigh10 tells us more.

kaileigh10 2

Wednesday 18 May 2011 21:00

I agree! How is a baby going to change my life. that was a stupid suggestion.

By damselfly - 27/03/2012 00:28 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 512

You deserved it 2 893

damselfly tells us more.

damselfly 7

Wednesday 28 March 2012 22:26

OP here--had to get an FML account to comment. To my roommate's credit, she had the mess all cleaned up by the time I got home--only the smell was left. I can't blame her for having snakes, either, since I moved into the apartment knowing she had them, and being ok with it. Can't say I'm too thrilled with her storing the rats in the freezer, but they do have to eat, and I least I was able to put my foot down on her thawing them in the oven (seriously, WTF?). A couple of people asked why she was feeding her snakes dead rats. Apparently, it's pretty controversial among snake owners, but most people feel it's inhumane to feed live. You'd be surprised, but feeding live is actually very dangerous to the snake--since the feeder rats can't run away (being in a tank with a snake), they fight instead. My roommate has a rescued snake whose last owners fed it live--the poor thing is covered with scars. Snakes can die that way. @18--Sadly, I know exactly what rotted snake smells like...*sigh* Roommate got ahold of a dead Burmese python (it was not a pet), and wanted to preserve the skeleton for educational purposes, but didn't get the right beetles ahead of time. I said there was absolutely no way it was coming in the house, but she did, once (to try a different method of getting the flesh off the bones). It was...unbelievable. Had no idea something could smell that bad. That was actually just 2 weeks ago, and the smell only just got out when the rat incident happened. I'm too tolerant, methinks. She's what you might call eccentric. @12--Thanks for the advice about the vaccuum sealer :) She said she'd thought of it, but can't afford it right now.