Animals

Hey OP here! To answer some questions, my husband does not have a sandpaper tongue, that would be awful! I didn't have huge bits of food just your regular after food residue. I usually do brush after meals but the itus was strong and I immediately fell asleep after the meal. And yes I brushed, mouthwashed, and flossed immediately after I woke up with a cat tongue in my mouth!! Repeatedly I might add. My cats are beggars, they will do almost anything for table food apparently licking my teeth is fare game. The comments made me laugh, so thanks guys. Cheers!

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 29/04/2015 16:06 - South Africa - Pinetown

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 3 342

Pest control

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 91

Good boy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 20:00

Today, it's my birthday, and the only male attention I've had in months is when the dog greeted me with his red rocket out and his tail wagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 219

By Good choice cat - 24/02/2014 19:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 722

You deserved it 4 518

By Anonymous - 24/06/2013 16:41 - Belgium

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 735

You deserved it 15 312

It's probably considered art

By firestar772 - 11/02/2013 15:48 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 042

You deserved it 4 479

By theorifice - 16/06/2010 16:28 - Canada

Today, I was unbearably hungry, so I went to Wendy's, bought myself a Baconator and took it outside to eat on the patio. One bite in, I went back to grab a few napkins. Within seconds of my departure, a seagull snatched it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 174

You deserved it 43 334

By Koko - 07/04/2016 16:07 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 803

You deserved it 1 956

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 288

By qwertycode - 26/11/2015 18:57 - United States - Colton

Today, my mom prevented me from walking a neighbor's dog because she said I'm obsessed with it. I walk the dog three times a day because that's what the neighbors pay me to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 441

You deserved it 1 624

qwertycode tells us more.

qwertycode 19

Friday 27 November 2015 5:03

Hello, OP here! The family that owns the dog is out of town currently due to Thanksgiving and all that, which is why they need someone to walk the dog. I take care of other things too of course, like feeding, making sure he goes to bed, etc but it's mostly just letting him get his exercise.