Animals

OP here--had to get an FML account to comment. To my roommate's credit, she had the mess all cleaned up by the time I got home--only the smell was left. I can't blame her for having snakes, either, since I moved into the apartment knowing she had them, and being ok with it. Can't say I'm too thrilled with her storing the rats in the freezer, but they do have to eat, and I least I was able to put my foot down on her thawing them in the oven (seriously, WTF?). A couple of people asked why she was feeding her snakes dead rats. Apparently, it's pretty controversial among snake owners, but most people feel it's inhumane to feed live. You'd be surprised, but feeding live is actually very dangerous to the snake--since the feeder rats can't run away (being in a tank with a snake), they fight instead. My roommate has a rescued snake whose last owners fed it live--the poor thing is covered with scars. Snakes can die that way. @18--Sadly, I know exactly what rotted snake smells like...*sigh* Roommate got ahold of a dead Burmese python (it was not a pet), and wanted to preserve the skeleton for educational purposes, but didn't get the right beetles ahead of time. I said there was absolutely no way it was coming in the house, but she did, once (to try a different method of getting the flesh off the bones). It was...unbelievable. Had no idea something could smell that bad. That was actually just 2 weeks ago, and the smell only just got out when the rat incident happened. I'm too tolerant, methinks. She's what you might call eccentric. @12--Thanks for the advice about the vaccuum sealer :) She said she'd thought of it, but can't afford it right now.

By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 906

You deserved it 2 510

Curled out

By lashless - 22/05/2010 20:32 - United States

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 139

You deserved it 7 627

By iHateWorms - 23/12/2009 03:52 - Australia

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 540

You deserved it 33 711

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 971

You deserved it 1 145

Doggy dog world

By that desert girl - 14/01/2023 08:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I've been crying on a regular basis because I know one day my dog will die. He’s a completely healthy and happy dog, I just can’t accept how short his life will be and the fact that he’ll probably die before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 811

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 867

You deserved it 30 084

SHUT UP

By Rasta Pickles - 03/02/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, my wife has imposed two Bengal cats on my existence. Bengal cats howl, very loudly, during the night. My wife can sleep through a nuclear war. I will not get a decent night's sleep for the next twelve to fifteen years of my life. Prisoners of war being tortured endured less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 307

By bill - 28/11/2009 01:48 - United States

Today, I received a $500 fine for an "unruly" dog. I don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 2 361

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 20:14 - United States - Columbia City

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 460

You deserved it 9 341

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 348

You deserved it 28 563

Doggy Wants A Bone

By Oh man... - 01/08/2017 06:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, I began my ritual of my afternoon wank. As I was about to finish, I noticed my dog staring at me from across the room. We shared a longboard stare as I came, and I can't look him in the eyes the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 024

You deserved it 5 070

Teamwork

By Anonymous - 07/12/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I spent ages cleaning my house, only for my toddler to spill a box of cereal right when I'd finished. As I cleaned up the mess, the dog dragged the cereal into almost every room. All the floors now have what I can only describe as "surprise crunch zones." FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 125

Sympathetic

By Sorry kitty - 14/05/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 153

A Dog's Love = Priceless

By Sudokori - 29/08/2017 20:00

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 403

You deserved it 669

By australian6196 - 05/02/2014 02:36 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 776

You deserved it 7 484

By bad luck Bianca - 17/01/2015 22:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 859

You deserved it 10 210

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 01:50 - United States - Wilmington

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 619

You deserved it 5 836

By GnarCarBar - 12/09/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 806

You deserved it 4 670

By C_Ramirez1695 - 01/08/2015 02:31 - United States - Houston

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 2 702

C_Ramirez1695 tells us more.

C_Ramirez1695 12

Sunday 2 August 2015 23:36

Unfortunately our dog has passed. It was a choke snare. I don't blame my grandpa he loved our dog just as much as we did, he was only trying to protect him. I don't know where you're from in the world but foxes and coyotes are not harmless. Our dog was a little shih tzu and a fox or coyote wouldn't think twice about attacking him.