Animals

They were definitely playing! They did catch it again, ironically enough, in this little pop-up 'mouse hunt' toy tent thing. I managed to trap it and get it outside safely, though they miss their toy.

By MyNameIsNotJeff - 08/05/2015 03:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 3 114

Extra protein

By ReluctantAntEater - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 314

You deserved it 3 624

'Cause you had a bad day, you're taking one down…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I tripped on my coffee table and fell face first into my cat's litter box. To make it even worse, my cat was in there doing his business and, pun not intended, I scared the shit out of him. He ran away terrified, then I tripped over HIM while I was going to take a shower. Today is not my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 218

CLAWS

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 998

You deserved it 417 091

By cricketsins - 14/05/2015 05:11 - United States

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 607

You deserved it 2 595

By Sarah1330 - 25/02/2015 04:33 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 426

You deserved it 3 349

By Alex White - 02/05/2016 16:50 - Canada - Westerose

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 4 769

By Tigerlily - 03/05/2017 22:00

Today, my cat thanked me for buying her a new litterbox by peeing in all of my plants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 223

You deserved it 621

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 699

You deserved it 4 568

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 130

By Barney - 18/06/2011 16:10 - United States

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 874

You deserved it 9 170

Wake up, human!

By inveralaska - 16/06/2016 21:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 062

You deserved it 2 364

By 854alice - 30/03/2017 11:25 - United Kingdom - Stamford

Today, my girlfriend got jealous because I wanted to adopt a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 620

You deserved it 492

854alice tells us more.

854alice 18

Thursday 30 March 2017 8:37

Hey, Op here. I saw that this got posted (rather unexpectedly I might add) and I feel like I need to clear this up. First off to those saying she is crazy or I should leave her, you shouldn't really judge a book by its cover and know the full story before making comments like that. She is the kindest and most wonderful person I have ever met in my life. Se didn't intend to tell me that she was jealous, Unfortunately, like myself, she has barely any filter so she ended up blurting it out to me anyway. I found it funny and entertaining since it was so out of her character and we've both been laughing about it since. She did end up loving the pup once I showed her some pictures and I'm still hoping to adopt if he's still available. I just thought it was a funny moment in our lives and just wanted to share.