Animals

Unfortunately our dog has passed. It was a choke snare. I don't blame my grandpa he loved our dog just as much as we did, he was only trying to protect him. I don't know where you're from in the world but foxes and coyotes are not harmless. Our dog was a little shih tzu and a fox or coyote wouldn't think twice about attacking him.

Baby come back

By chuchundra - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 009

You deserved it 8 107

RIP Tiddles

By gvmfvr - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Fontenay-sous-bois

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 607

You deserved it 4 011

Get lost

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 408

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 537

You deserved it 4 485

By qwertyasdfghzxcv - 11/02/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 649

You deserved it 27 325

By loser4life - 30/07/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 452

You deserved it 79 693

By Cat Ashes - 05/12/2013 05:18 - United States - Dewitt

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 796

You deserved it 2 801

Happy Caturday

By couchsurfer - 10/08/2012 00:02 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 082

You deserved it 29 979

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 21:36 - Sweden - Falun

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 746

You deserved it 7 336

By HM - 16/04/2015 13:10 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 606

You deserved it 4 528

Thanks guys

By MCRxforever - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 215

You deserved it 3 710

Fresh air

By Ceecee - 22/03/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 249

By chi-huaHUA - 04/12/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 182

You deserved it 6 765

By dating a big bag of dicks - 13/05/2014 21:02 - United States

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 522

You deserved it 9 216

Gotcha

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 956

You deserved it 9 141

By Nicole557 - 03/11/2011 10:56 - United States

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 531

You deserved it 10 511

By panda - 03/03/2011 11:20

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 273

You deserved it 6 292

Oi! Get back here!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, while having lunch on a pier, I tried to take an artsy photo of my food for Instagram. Just as I was about to snap the pic, a seagull swooped in and snatched my chips right out of the paper bag in my hand. I didn't even get a photo of the robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 634

By Anonymous - 02/05/2013 12:50 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 533

You deserved it 6 800

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 13:00

Today, my neighbour's kitten got run over, so I bought her chocolate as comfort food. When I gave it to her she joked, "Now I'm going to get fat." It was at that moment that my brain stepped out and my mouth took over and I heard myself say, "You deserve it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 883

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 423

You deserved it 9 779

By Alex White - 02/05/2016 16:50 - Canada - Westerose

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 532

You deserved it 4 769

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 271

You deserved it 3 585

You owe me $5, kitty

By georgia819 - 21/05/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 570

You deserved it 4 336

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The Top

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I wouldn't give her a new iPhone 5 for free to replace her broken Nokia, which she threw out the window in "blind rage". I felt awful having to thank her for calling. Sadly, this is a daily event. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 790

You deserved it 2 693

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 458

You deserved it 2 932

Today, I was supposed to have a hospital appointment I've been waiting three months for, but they changed it to a phone call. The call consisted of the consultant asking questions and saying, "Yes, I see that in your notes", before concluding I need to a physical appointment and booking one… for three months' time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 68

Today, I had to get a nail removed from my head after a nail gun incident. The nail was actually touching my brain but didn’t cause damage. Of course being a builder with typical builder mates, the joke now is that I’m so brainless even getting shot in the head doesn’t make a difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 180

Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 181

Today, I got the hiccups while my dad was yelling at me. He then said, “You’d better stop hiccuping or I’m gonna kick your ass!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 137