Animals

This one's mine! Kind of weird to see it here. Anyway, the vet did several (pricey) tests to find out why my dog drinks so much and pees everywhere. The title pretty much nailed it, he's an asshole.

By Js2cool - 29/09/2015 02:32 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 099

You deserved it 7 129

Welcome home!

By dumb - 02/06/2009 15:33 - United States

Today, my new subletter moved in. Within 6 hours, one of my cats took a dump on her pants. I freaked out, lit some candles to hide the smell, and threw her pants in the washer. When the cycle was done, I found her cell phone at the bottom of the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 026

You deserved it 25 718

Naughty boy

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put him outside. Unhappy with the situation, he leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile-vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 431

You deserved it 772

Nice try, Janet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2014 19:37

Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 800

You deserved it 3 519

Traumatized

By Anon - 31/10/2009 11:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I invited my very animal-phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved, so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 742

You deserved it 12 215

Treasure

By mainche - 20/01/2009 07:13 - France

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 272

You deserved it 6 909

By jennabean - 12/08/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 921

You deserved it 4 628

Humaaaaaaan! Open the doooooor!

By Is he stupid? - 12/01/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my dumbass cat won't stop screaming and whining at me because I won't let him go outside. It's winter, and this is the Midwest. He did this without my knowledge once before and had almost frozen to death by the time I figured out where he was. Also, he's too loud for earplugs to drown him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 129

You can't put a price on a cat

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 20:00 - United States - Webster

Today, I was nervous about taking my cat to the vet for a UTI, because money’s a little tight. Turns out the antibiotics weren’t that expensive, but he wants at least $1,000 for dental surgery she apparently “needs.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 176

What? It's Caturday!

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that the reason my neighbors have been giving me weird looks while whispering to each other lately is because I've started walking my cat on a leash, and this is apparently "a cause for concern about my mental health." FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 324

By Darbstar101 - 08/04/2015 13:00 - Australia - Lawnton

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 267

You deserved it 4 257

Darbstar101 tells us more.

Darbstar101 19

Thursday 9 April 2015 0:02

OP here, yes the girl was fine and laughing when I ran up to her to see if she was okay. My dogs just a very large, very excitable english mastiff puppy and the girl loves dogs so it worked out fine after I bought her another ice-cream. And my puppy wasn't on a leash because we were at a dog park playing with other dogs and she was very fired up. The little girls parent saw what happened and were very understanding :)