By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Birmingham Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML I agree, your life sucks 21091 You deserved it 25882 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bride2be - United States Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML I agree, your life sucks 30820 You deserved it 3361 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML I agree, your life sucks 38491 You deserved it 17468 379 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By inchetogb - United States Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML I agree, your life sucks 25535 You deserved it 3398 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Maggie123 - Canada Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML I agree, your life sucks 33208 You deserved it 27831 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - Sweden - Uppsala Bad timing Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML I agree, your life sucks 61441 You deserved it 6606 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By embarrassedinretail - Australia Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML I agree, your life sucks 21796 You deserved it 4881 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmlfmlfml - United Kingdom Today, my boyfriend rekindled the romance with his ex, at my 21st birthday party. One of the few reasons I'd invited her was to show that I trusted him, and I no longer felt threatened by their continued friendship. FML I agree, your life sucks 36701 You deserved it 8648 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wife of a shithead - Norway - Oslo Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML I agree, your life sucks 47224 You deserved it 4738 352 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 24/1/2021 17:01 - Germany Catflap time Today, our cat doesn’t care much whether she gets into my room or not. Except at about 3 a.m. each night. That’s the time she sits outside the door, meowing to be let in. FML I agree, your life sucks 598 You deserved it 116 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML I agree, your life sucks 35015 You deserved it 9612 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By the next james herriot - United States - Laurel Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML I agree, your life sucks 49423 You deserved it 3081 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By It wasnt even that close - Germany - Herford Today, while shopping, I stepped a bit closer to a couple that stood in front of a display. The girl then shot me a nasty look, grabbed her boyfriend and started pointedly making out with him. I was just trying to buy some butter. But thanks for reminding me how lonely I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 25437 You deserved it 1825 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotAnExcuse - United States Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML I agree, your life sucks 34462 You deserved it 2357 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was at my boyfriends house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 41395 You deserved it 3110 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 25231 You deserved it 2898 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By phishy - United States - Georgetown Today, I got a call from a potential employer. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand the man due to his incoherent mumbling. I had to decline the job after asking him to repeat everything he said, over and over again. I still don't know exactly which job I declined. FML I agree, your life sucks 28127 You deserved it 2471 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rockefoe - United States Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 32426 You deserved it 8658 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mel - New Zealand - Auckland Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML I agree, your life sucks 43916 You deserved it 3109 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dumbdumb - United States Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 15659 You deserved it 33089 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was selected to give my speech to the entire school. I was later told it had to be censored because it was inappropriate, even though I was just trying to make a point. My speech was on political correctness. My speech on political correctness was censored for political reasons. FML I agree, your life sucks 49904 You deserved it 5079 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By radioactiveglowinthedarkthing - United Kingdom Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML I agree, your life sucks 28084 You deserved it 3565 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eddie818 - Canada - Sidney Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 30127 You deserved it 3214 134 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Czechplease - United States Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML I agree, your life sucks 16119 You deserved it 33753 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Foxy - United States Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML I agree, your life sucks 23545 You deserved it 3523 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Diego Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML I agree, your life sucks 32323 You deserved it 2907 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stephanie Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 4430 You deserved it 935 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who said, "Good girl" whenever I said anything that he agreed with. FML I agree, your life sucks 1889 You deserved it 259 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was cleaning my apartment because I'm moving. I was being really thorough so I could get as much of the damage deposit back as possible. I noticed I still had one of those 3M plastic hooks on the wall, and when I went to carefully take it off, a large chunk of the wall came with it. FML I agree, your life sucks 46982 You deserved it 8448 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AshamedDaughter - Canada Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML I agree, your life sucks 28443 You deserved it 3751 180 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eayers2689 - United States Today, I went to a barbecue and noticed a girl that I had be interested in. When I walked up to ask how she was doing I noticed she had some BBQ sauce on her face. Jokingly I licked my thumb and reach to remove it. It turned out to be a scab from a pimple she had popped earlier. FML I agree, your life sucks 18599 You deserved it 58964 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By weeble_wobbles09 - United States Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 10394 You deserved it 25678 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML I agree, your life sucks 25480 You deserved it 4093 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By goodbyeadulthood Millennial Life Today, my parents told me that from now on I have to share a room with my 9-year-old sister. She already called top bunk. I'm 20. FML I agree, your life sucks 1451 You deserved it 550 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Roller coaster ride Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML I agree, your life sucks 929 You deserved it 1619 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thesaddestsoup - Macedonia - Stip Today, my long-distance relationship ended. The only thing my dad had to say to comfort me was that he hopes my phone bills will, "go back to normal now." FML I agree, your life sucks 7529 You deserved it 1330 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - El Cajon Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML I agree, your life sucks 25818 You deserved it 10528 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chunkymonkey - United States Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML I agree, your life sucks 28199 You deserved it 10267 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML I agree, your life sucks 63944 You deserved it 4175 237 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Slash - United States Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML I agree, your life sucks 22618 You deserved it 48808 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - United States - Ithaca Today, my first grade student apologized for cutting his bangs off in class, and explained that it was his mom's birthday and he had wanted to make her an origami flower. Out of his hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 7024 You deserved it 649 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By halcyon93 | 16 #6151530 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:50 Not the most observant person in the world, are we? Send a private message 202 3 Reply
By TheGolfGTI | 24 #6151547 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:55 Quarter of an hour? You spent that long doing that? You would of thought after a while why it didn't make much cents. Send a private message 140 14 Reply
By halcyon93 | 16 #6151530 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:50 Not the most observant person in the world, are we? Send a private message 202 3 Reply
Reply StormfrontX33_fml | 24 #6151557 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:58 Not as bad as when I was so tired after a hike, that I sat down in the passenger seat of a completely different car. Needless to say, I was greeted with a look of silent horror by the guy relaxing in the driver seat. Sometimes, shit happens. Send a private message 82 1 Reply
Reply CoGhostRider | 31 #6151636 - Monday 22 December 2014 23:52 Maybe OP isn't the most observant but look at the bright side, blondes have more fun. Send a private message 3 21 Reply
Reply rockey44 | 16 #6151677 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 1:01 hahahahha 14 that made my day Send a private message 20 2 Reply
Reply HighasaCloud | 46 #6162684 - Sunday 4 January 2015 20:10 I really hope this is made up to get something published and that people this stupid aren't out there driving. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By kirbs19 | 37 #6151533 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:51 Bahahaha that made my day so much better... Send a private message 34 10 Reply
By flufee2 | 27 #6151534 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:51 Thats so weird.. Did the color change too? :o Send a private message 99 4 Reply
By iwanttogotoparis | 26 #6151538 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:52 Oh my gosh, that's strange, haha Send a private message 4 27 Reply
By biasedshooter | 24 #6151542 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:54 Who calls it a number plate? Send a private message 13 53 Reply
Reply Norja | 33 #6151555 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:58 News flash: Lots of things have more than one name for them. Send a private message 50 3 Reply
Reply Norja | 33 #6151568 - Monday 22 December 2014 23:02 We're not all from America and speak like you. Send a private message 36 3 Reply
Reply Mauskau | 35 #6151646 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 0:02 People from the UK. We also call it Registration but it's usually referred to as the number plate. Send a private message 29 1 Reply
Reply SharnaaaBanana | 22 #6151663 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 0:19 And Australia! Send a private message 23 1 Reply
Reply Ergon_Talfo | 16 #6151690 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 1:18 I know it's called a licence plate... Send a private message 5 34 Reply
Reply Miss_Chevious | 37 #6151808 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 5:45 Many people 5. Many people call it a number plate Send a private message 14 1 Reply
Reply Teddzz | 19 #6153024 - Wednesday 24 December 2014 15:22 And every African country, so basically every non-American Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By amadeclton | 26 #6151543 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:55 Do you believe in magic? Send a private message 8 21 Reply
By meganss12 | 8 #6151545 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:55 Next time set your car alarm off and quickly turn it off. That is what I do when I forget where I parked my car. Send a private message 32 2 Reply
By TheGolfGTI | 24 #6151547 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:55 Quarter of an hour? You spent that long doing that? You would of thought after a while why it didn't make much cents. Send a private message 140 14 Reply
Reply TheNinjaOfAsia | 13 #6151552 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:56 Sense* Send a private message 18 30 Reply
Reply MrSassypants | 32 #6151580 - Monday 22 December 2014 23:08 It didn't make cents but it did make a quarter of an hour. Send a private message 53 3 Reply
Reply iop330 | 22 #6151610 - Monday 22 December 2014 23:31 Not going to lie, you really did hit the money with that pun. Send a private message 36 2 Reply
Reply Allison_leah23 | 17 #6151652 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 0:05 I hope you're joking #12. Send a private message 1 25 Reply
Reply Bl4nk3t | 2 #6151805 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 5:30 a quarter of an hour is only 15 minutes.. Send a private message 4 11 Reply
Reply Dave_Davington | 33 #6151814 - Tuesday 23 December 2014 5:55 *would have Send a private message 11 4 Reply
Reply LittleKayla1227 | 4 #6152681 - Wednesday 24 December 2014 5:04 "Cents"? So after awhile it didn't make many pennies, quarters, nickels, or dimes? You both are slow as a golf GTI in a street race.... Send a private message 1 5 Reply
By jojimugo | 20 #6151548 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:55 We all have one of those days, maybe not to that extent but we all do Send a private message 14 1 Reply
By MrConcise | 34 #6151550 - Monday 22 December 2014 22:56 "...and why did the change in my cupholder suddenly appear in my pocket?" *runs* Send a private message 19 1 Reply
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without... I agree, your life sucks 80 You deserved it 13 0 Comments
Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML I agree, your life sucks 548 You deserved it 74 4 Comments