Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd... - FML

By Anonymous - 28/2/2013 21:06 - Finland - Vanda

Today, I had an important job interview at another company. I'd tried to keep it secret from everyone at work, so they wouldn't tell my boss, as I can't afford to get on his bad side yet. My mom posted on my Facebook wall, wishing me luck. I'm Facebook friends with most of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29051

You deserved it

11650

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

Gas giant

A beautiful truck decoration

By Anonymous - 2/12/2010 17:38 - United States

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7798

You deserved it

45806

Tweet

Share

By uggghhhh - 21/12/2016 22:28

Today, it's 3 days before Christmas and my first day of holidays. Today is also the first day I have been sick all year. Hello tonsillitis, goodbye fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7129

You deserved it

634

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/7/2011 05:38 - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41321

You deserved it

6065

Tweet

Share

By ehwat - 26/11/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26708

You deserved it

12677

Tweet

Share

By hhhhhhhpeterwut - 19/2/2013 03:21 - United States - Bethesda

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9325

You deserved it

54637

Tweet

Share

By Caitlin - 10/6/2010 00:46 - United States

Today, I had to drive 300 miles to a town where I thought I'd forgotten my purse the night before. When I got to the hotel I had been staying at, I found out it was actually in the trunk of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11270

You deserved it

45629

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 16:09 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51545

You deserved it

3651

Tweet

Share

By bananagurl4242 - 16/7/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, my friends told me all five of us should bring sleeping bags on our field trip; I brought mine only to find out they had told me that so they would get the four beds to themselves. They all 'forgot' to bring them and its only fair that I should sleep on the floor. We are here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36044

You deserved it

4436

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2059

You deserved it

374

Tweet

Share

By gassy - 15/7/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28193

You deserved it

3983

Tweet

Share

By STOPattheSIGNbitch - 5/4/2020 08:00

Tonight, on Idiots in Cars…

Today, a woman in an SUV rolled a stop sign and hit me, resulting in simultaneously twisting my foot in my bike and being knocked into oncoming traffic. Her excuse before I went to the ER? The sun was in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1581

You deserved it

119

Tweet

Share

By mama bear - 5/6/2020 20:00

Fight Club Penguin

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2244

You deserved it

161

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/7/2018 15:00

Today, I went to the dentist and found out I still have a wisdom tooth. I got all four out last summer... or at least I thought I did. Now I have to go back and get it removed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3222

You deserved it

177

Tweet

Share

By JustABarista - 11/3/2017 04:00

Good Riddance

Today, while working at Starbucks, an elderly woman came up to me asking to turn up the heat. It was at 73. After explaining to her that corporate all the way across the country controls our heat, she's reporting me to corporate and is insisting I should be fired or she won't ever return. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5183

You deserved it

347

Tweet

Share

By jsyn - 9/11/2013 23:27 - United States - East Hampton

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47994

You deserved it

11925

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/4/2013 18:49 - United States - Rice Lake

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50344

You deserved it

6530

Tweet

Share

By johnnyfuckfacer - 18/10/2012 19:40 - Canada - Concord

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML

I agree, your life sucks

20878

You deserved it

2242

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 5/9/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38887

You deserved it

3872

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/7/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39648

You deserved it

7790

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/11/2018 15:30

Today, I woke up in a puddle of blood after 7 hours of sleep. Before going to bed, I had inserted a tampon that should've kept me dry for at least 8 hours. Apparently it doesn't work well if sleepy me forgets to take the top part of the plastic wrapping off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2356

You deserved it

1168

Tweet

Share

By miss tomato - 8/6/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24408

You deserved it

5637

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/2/2011 10:34 - United States

Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37122

You deserved it

7019

Tweet

Share

By I quit - 19/11/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27086

You deserved it

3321

Tweet

Share

By youre dumped shitforbrain - 19/8/2012 16:52 - Sweden - H?lleforsn

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30615

You deserved it

5440

Tweet

Share

By stuckass - 5/4/2016 09:02 - Pakistan

Today, our office had a mock audit before the real thing. I got warning note for not maintaining proper databases for last year's activities. I only joined a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20864

You deserved it

1492

Tweet

Share

By Olorin - 12/8/2010 23:21 - Germany

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30316

You deserved it

2714

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/2/2016 01:07 - United States - Roxboro

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill. My cat ate it before I could pick it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20247

You deserved it

2756

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/9/2020 17:02

Too much of a good thing

Today, after my girlfriend warned me she has the condition hypersexuality and like a fool I thought I’d landed on my feet, or on my back as it were, do you have any idea how bad sex is when you have it between 5 and 10 times a day for over a year? It’s basically a chore at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1370

You deserved it

460

Tweet

Share

By uncleaning - 22/7/2009 23:03 - United States

Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45386

You deserved it

4562

Tweet

Share

By Cacahuete - 28/12/2013 14:46 - France - Villejuif

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42765

You deserved it

7334

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Keep the peace

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

598

You deserved it

73

Tweet

Share

By jennyygrace - 11/7/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12572

You deserved it

41511

Tweet

Share

By Imdead - 14/9/2018 22:00

Today, we're taking the plane home from Dublin after a school trip that I only barely got onto after troubles with my passport. Luckily for me, a kind person has decided to save me from the passport this evening - together with the rest of my wallet. I'm stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2559

You deserved it

210

Tweet

Share

By stubblebutt - 13/11/2009 12:17 - Australia

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46606

You deserved it

5935

Tweet

Share

By Help - 26/11/2011 06:03 - United States

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31514

You deserved it

2481

Tweet

Share

By death bed - 13/2/2013 17:20 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36197

You deserved it

2464

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/3/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, I was in a movie when my boyfriend sent out a mass text saying that he'd just lost his virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44253

You deserved it

4243

Tweet

Share

By YYY - 29/5/2019 18:00

Today, I put all my clothes into two piles. One pile had clothes I usually wear, the other clothes I wanted to donate. When I was done, I put the piles into two jumbo trash bags. I came back a bit later and they both were gone. My mom donated both bags. I have no clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1739

You deserved it

971

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 04:02 - United Kingdom - Southampton

WTF VHS?

Today, a teacher asked me to edit a video of her class. Unfamiliar with cameras that work with video tape, I accidentally recorded over her video. The footage is impossible for me to get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1115

You deserved it

907

Tweet

Share

By chloe_zjk - 18/2/2015 05:22 - France

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35604

You deserved it

12146

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By itsame0987 | 18

#5387593 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:45

If you wanted to keep it secret, why would you tell anyone period?

By zandalee | 19

#5387604 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:48

This is why I don't like Facebook.
No bloody privacy. I honestly don't get this need to share every part of your life with everyone.

COMMENTS

By itsame0987 | 18

#5387593 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:45

If you wanted to keep it secret, why would you tell anyone period?

Reply

TheAbstract | 15

#5387635 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:58

Especially your mom, OP!

Reply

daniel_dd31 | 13

#5387637 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:59

A prime example of how Facebook ruins our lives.

Reply

boots73 | 2

#5388025 - Friday 1 March 2013 7:55

I never have my coworkers as friends on Facebook. Bad idea!

Reply

Oceanborn_fml | 24

#5388072 - Friday 1 March 2013 8:52

That's not Facebook ruining it, that's a stupid mom. Without Facebook she might as well have called him at work and if he didn't pick up himself told whoever did to wish him luck.

Reply

HouseElf | 13

#5388130 - Friday 1 March 2013 10:34

50- that's borderline soap opera plot right there. You're over thinking it! ^_^

Reply

Oceanborn_fml | 24

#5388174 - Friday 1 March 2013 11:53

Yea sure it's exaggerated, but it could happen. The point is, it's the mother at fault, not Facebook. That mom sure knows that her son is still employed at some company and should know that having an interview at a different company isn't something the current employer should know of.

Reply

fury1031 | 10

#5389193 - Saturday 2 March 2013 5:15

Yeah, parents are so stupid. They never realize when you want them to shut up or when they shouldn't talk about something.

By askullnamedbilly | 33

#5387596 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:46

Well, did you mention that fact to her and everyone else you decided to tell about the interview? If not, you can't really blame her.

By zandalee | 19

#5387604 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:48

This is why I don't like Facebook.
No bloody privacy. I honestly don't get this need to share every part of your life with everyone.

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5387626 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:55

Not really Noor...
I know.
There is something wrong with me isn't there?!

Reply

perdix | 29

#5387634 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:57

#7, yes. Why aren't you offering her a cyber-blumpkin? Where are your manners?

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5387639 - Friday 1 March 2013 3:00

Perdix- Please, be my guest.

Reply

perdix | 29

#5387650 - Friday 1 March 2013 3:06

Hey, Noor! How about a cyber-blumpkin? Or am I too late?

Reply

zandalee | 19

#5387661 - Friday 1 March 2013 3:12

Please Perdix. We beg of you; NO SHITTING in the shower!

Reply

perdix | 29

#5387669 - Friday 1 March 2013 3:16

#20, 22, People! People! CTFD, please! It's all just "cyber." There is no actual exchange of precious bodily fluids (and, yes, vapors count as fluids.)

Reply

pedinhuh | 23

#5388448 - Friday 1 March 2013 16:30

That's more like Twitter, doesn't?

By NothernNightmare | 18

#5387606 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:49

Maybe don't add your colleagues next time?... And get your mom to keep her mouth shut.

Reply

bjf10 | 22

#5387987 - Friday 1 March 2013 7:15

Bingo. Don't friend people at work. Period.

Reply

HKCgrimmjow | 15

#5388060 - Friday 1 March 2013 8:35

Don't friend people period.

Reply

redpanda11 | 10

#5388879 - Friday 1 March 2013 23:38

Just don't . Period.

By karlcolt45 | 19

#5387614 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:51

hey mom can I move back in? you kinda owe me

By Ultimate_No | 7

#5387627 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:55

Unless you didn't have a way to when she first posted it, why didn't you just delete the post?

By alwayswinning123 | 7

#5387628 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:55

Well it looks like your going to have a lot of explaining to do

By misataylor86 | 10

#5387629 - Friday 1 March 2013 2:55

And that's why you don't have work colleagues as Facebook friends.

Reply

japtap81 | 16

#5387649 - Friday 1 March 2013 3:06

Totally agree! Or have ur account public! I vent on mine sometimes but I only have 2 friends before I started venting. But my rants are entertaining to them

Reply

andyyroxx | 20

#5387793 - Friday 1 March 2013 4:32

Having your account public would remedy the problem, wouldn't it? You are a genius.
(Second part of your comment is so irrelevant I can't even respond to it.)

Reply

evilplatypus | 38

#5387800 - Friday 1 March 2013 4:38

34 - I think they were saying you don't friend colleagues or have a public account; they just phrased it badly (I agree with your assessment of the second half of their statement though).

Reply

andyyroxx | 20

#5387824 - Friday 1 March 2013 5:04

35- Nice catch, didn't think of it that way.

By itawebbies | 8

#5387646 - Friday 1 March 2013 3:04

Maybe you should have kept it a secret from EVERYONE..

By sarahadlina | 14

#5387647 - Friday 1 March 2013 3:05

I guess you could have warned her before then?