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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend moved. I found out when I went over to surprise him with take-out food and he was pulling out of the driveway. He flipped me off as he drove past. FML

#11339057
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38808) - you deserved it (4705)

On 06/20/2010 at 7:37pm - love - by Anony Mous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that in my family, 'Father's Day' is more like 'Father's drunken, piss on a plant in the kitchen during breakfast, order you to scrub in between his toes with your toothbrush Day.' FML

#11329600
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36159) - you deserved it (3597)

On 06/20/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at work as a musician, sitting on a piano bench. Suddenly I found myself at eye-level with the piano, dumped on the floor by the broken bench, with my legs splayed out. I felt like I picked the wrong day to wear a skirt to work - but the audience members all disagreed. FML

#11326623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31222) - you deserved it (4223)

On 06/20/2010 at 3:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML

#11325945
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30143) - you deserved it (13151)

On 06/20/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Mr.Viola (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

#11324047
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (28545)

On 06/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by PissyPants (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wasn't feeling too well and consequently threw up. In an effort to get some sympathy, I told my mom about what happened. Rather than trying to make me feel better, she yelled at me because I threw up in the bathroom sink "when the damn toilet is two feet away." Thanks mom. FML

#11322556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20737) - you deserved it (31069)

On 06/20/2010 at 12:11am - health - by LoveYouTooMa (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10808) - you deserved it (51783)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (3457)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

#11310878
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12589) - you deserved it (34569)

On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my kids thought it would be funny to put pictures of naked men and women as people's ID on my phone. They won't tell me how to change it back. FML

#11305876
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (29608)

On 06/19/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Momma - Sent from mobile version

Today, while tuning my bass guitar, I noticed a very strange screeching sound. I leaned over to look behind the neck. The biggest string snapped off and cut the side of my face. FML

#11295929
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (4570)

On 06/18/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by jooshuarr - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)



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