what a ******* bitch, i'd get away asap

Agreed with #3. My mom has once said that to me before too, but I have my utmost respect for her to try keeping the marriage together for my autistic brother's sake. My dad sure isn't the most sensitive guy out there, and I myself isn't in a good relationship with my dad either. But kudos to my dad for sticking around and paying for my brother's needs too, I suppose. I guess both of them are much better than those parents who dumps their mentally-challenged kids to the government.

#3, it's not all that mature. If your marital problems are really bad, IMO it's better for the kids to get a divorce.

I don't think it's mature at all; it's more like being unable to go through the motions and admit you made a mistake. My parents got divorced a long time ago and I got over it pretty quickly. I don't know anyone whose parents got divorced who are really messed up because of it. I do know a lot of people whose parents are in bad marriages who lead really messed up lives. Continuously watching your parents be hostile towards each other is not good for you psychologically. Plus, those hostilities often spill over onto the kids unjustly. We need to get over this conservative bullshit that marriages can't be broken up because the kids will suffer. The kids suffer more when parents who should get divorced don't.

I don't know, my friend's parents got a divorce and it messed her up. It made her more angry and she never really gets off the computer. Her little brother, who used to be a sweet kid, is now a skater punk. But I think it's that problem: their parents were very religious and they went to a church that believed that divorce was an abomination. They didn't argue or have any problems in front of their kids, so the kids thought their parents were getting along. The divorce just broke any optimism they had for the world. I also secretly think their parents just had an especially low point in their relationship and called it quits because they tend to quit things easily, but that's just me. I don't really know about their relationship. So, there were a lot more issues than just "a divorce messed up their family".

Maybe staying with her husband IS the mature thing to do, but saying something like that to her kid isn't.

It's not your fault. I've been in that situation before my parents were divorced. She's not actually blaming you for the problems, she's just frustrated.

Dear lord, how you have thought she was blaming her problems on you?? Her English was simple enough. What she was saying was that the reason the marriage still existed was because of you, that she cared enough about you that she didn't want a divorce. I agree with #10 that your mother telling you that you were the only thing keeping the marriage from falling apart wasn't the greatest thing to do. That's pretty much saying that she would otherwise divorce your father. My mom told me that my paternal grandmother, little brother and I were the only reasons she didn't file for divorce with my dad when I was younger (a toddler--problems stretched back even before my brother was born), because back then our financial problems were epic, my dad was a control freak, and my mom was intensely homesick. They got through that shedding blood and tears (my mom kind of lost it at one point and the authoritative/bossy streak that she inherited from HER father that had been dormant in the past is quite evident. Now my dad is generally mellow), and you have no idea how glad I am she didn't file for divorce. It would've screwed up all of us. Now we have a house, have SOMEHOW sloughed off our debts, my dad hasn't gotten laid off from work and if the stupid economic situation was better would've gotten a promotion (God knows our family needs it). Now I'm about to head off to college, and my brother is the sweetest--though rather annoying--thing ever. I don't want to know what would've happened if my parents had separated.

That's just ****** up.

Ya my parents have the excuse. Now I'm 18 and they couldn't get a divorce fast enough