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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while in line at the waterpark, I looked down to find my 3 year old daughter chewing on a used band-aid. FML

#11056176
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (7258)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by sarahfromthesouth - United States (Texas)

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

#11054776
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (4240)

On 06/08/2010 at 10:24am - health - by Rach (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

Today, my family and I were about to watch the video my dad took of me walking across the stage at my high school graduation. Turns out he recorded the wrong kid. FML

#11047935
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42251) - you deserved it (2950)

On 06/08/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by highschoolgrad (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away. FML

#11045008
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43012) - you deserved it (5791)

On 06/07/2010 at 10:21pm - love - by Th3BaconNinja (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about our past relationships. He told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was smart and he suited someone who was quite stupid. He then went on to say that I was perfect for him. FML

#11036363
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39555) - you deserved it (6534)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:27pm - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (7196)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

#11027844
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36967) - you deserved it (7922)

On 06/07/2010 at 2:43am - love - by soccerbooty - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend lied about crashing his car just to avoid seeing me. FML

Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML

#11017232
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33971) - you deserved it (2468)

On 06/06/2010 at 7:48pm - misc - by mark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

#11015044
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (5516)

On 06/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by LilyL (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47254) - you deserved it (6873)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

#11010469
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (3353)

On 06/06/2010 at 1:36pm - work - by duko3000 - Canada (Ontario)



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