Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I asked my crush what music he was into, misheard his answer because of background noise, so I spent 5 minutes enthusiastically talking about a band he'd never heard of, thinking we were bonding. When he finally stopped me and clarified, I laughed too loudly out of shame, then knocked over my drink. FML
Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, and for the past two months, I've been going to the bar with my friends quite regularly because I have a massive crush on the cute bartender. Being quite shy, I asked my friend if he could be my wingman so I could finally talk to her properly. He took her home. FML
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML
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Top comments
x0x_KissOfDeath 0
im American and i realize this person is probably foreign or comes from a foreign family where this is a normal greeting.. it's not that bizzare to get the concept or need a translation... That's embarassing though for the person haha
27BronxBombers 12
#19 You called him/her an ignorant American? I checked your profile. I see that you are from Honolulu, which I believe is part of the United States, thus insulting your own nationality. By this I mean that you are stereotyping Americans, including yourself. All the person did was make an innocent mistake. leave him alone. I, too, am American and proud of my country. I don't take it too kindly when someone insults my home. I will admit the United States has made mistakes but that doesn't not affect my love for it. Thank you and have a good day.
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Comments (31)
w00t_fml 0
viedemerde.fr is the best! I'd laughed at this story on the French site a while back. Good going for doing it in English!
brodizzle 0
Why did someone bother translating this? Kissing isn't culturally accepted as a greeting in the US or, as far as I know, the UK.
ilovechocochipz 0
theyrw deom france not the us or uk
Baron_Random 0
Say what? Ontopic- This isn't really an FML. unless there's like the consequences, sort of like. I kissed bartender, la la la, Now everyone at the bar gives me funny looks and won't talk to me. FML.
pandamuffins 0
Who said they were from the UK or America? Ignorant American...
27BronxBombers 12
#19 You called him/her an ignorant American? I checked your profile. I see that you are from Honolulu, which I believe is part of the United States, thus insulting your own nationality. By this I mean that you are stereotyping Americans, including yourself. All the person did was make an innocent mistake. leave him alone. I, too, am American and proud of my country. I don't take it too kindly when someone insults my home. I will admit the United States has made mistakes but that doesn't not affect my love for it. Thank you and have a good day.
money127 4
**** the USA!!!!!!!!!! Canada all the way bitch!!!!
dylan501 3
Defiantly not accepted in the uk
SBSforthewin 5
Shut up please
crackz12 10
20- he was calling 2 an ignorant American, not all Americans ignorant. And that was a pretty ignorant statement being that im from NY and we all kiss eachother hello so to say its not culturally accepted in America is bullshit, maybe its not culturally accepted in your ignorant little town. Ya ****** idiots.
RacistPancake 6
19 - it says right in the ******* FML that it's from France. FYL for being an ignorant ****.
brodizzle 0
I realize that, but it's not at all funny when you have to explain the joke. Leave it French...
wasted0087 0
It doesn't need an explanation, I can't think of anyone who doesn't know this. Also I'm American and I was at a Bar and the Bartender really actually did do greetings like this.
x0x_KissOfDeath 0
im American and i realize this person is probably foreign or comes from a foreign family where this is a normal greeting.. it's not that bizzare to get the concept or need a translation... That's embarassing though for the person haha
Muchu91 0
Actually, it's a great technique to flirt with him! Lol!
L4Dgirl00 0
lol oops
Redders123 1
LOL
Hi_Itz_Me 0
It's la bise. Not le bise.
ninjacapo 2
i doubt u needed another drink
PurpleLlamas 0
in soviet russia...ahh never mind
cstekk 0
in soviet Russia the road forks you