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Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

#7470356
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58535) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/21/2010 at 6:41am - health - by Dude (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

lukascepanovic's comment : well tell that bitch why you missed the first 2 weeks! :/

See all the comments →

Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML

#7470144
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (7332)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:47am - love - by uuuuugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML

#7469171
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7524) - you deserved it (43444)

On 01/21/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by im_radd (woman) - United States

Today, holding my newborn baby and yearning for some affection from my mother, I asked my mom what the best day of her life was, hoping she would say the day I was born. Her answer? "The day you moved out." She was serious. FML

#7467882
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29096) - you deserved it (6062)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:41am - kids - by ilovemom (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML

#7467735
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

#7467721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (4423)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:29am - work - by nichaneely (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23768) - you deserved it (4064)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

#7467261
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (5744)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Alicia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

#7467254
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5126) - you deserved it (68811)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was being laid off via an email that wasn't even spell checked. FML

#7465269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (2091)

On 01/20/2010 at 10:31pm - work - by TheoBuckner (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I forgot to take a certain medication that helps turn my lead logs into flaky floaters. So what happens? I'm in the restroom for 30 minutes, straining to go, and two girls walk in and start imitating me. FML

Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML

#7461664
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8864) - you deserved it (34204)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:55pm - misc - by muffincakess - Sent from mobile version

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

#7460932
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15038) - you deserved it (32523)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)



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