by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML
by hoops / 01/14/2011 at 3:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML
by calidumbass / 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Money
jibz's comment : YDI 100 times over OP, never hit and run. man up and own up to your mistakes or stay off the roads.
Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML
by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, a friend asked me to come with her to the art building at school, so I could pose in the stance of a figure she was drawing for her exam. I obliged and sat for the pose. When the art teacher walked by she looked at me, then at the sketch, pointed to the legs and said, "make them fatter". FML
by humiliated / 01/14/2011 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (East Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got off work and checked my makeup in the mirror once I got in my car. I had a huge piece of spinach on my front tooth that no one told me about. I work the front desk of an upscale hotel and have been greeting guests all day. FML
by embarassed / 01/14/2011 at 5:11am / United States (Idaho) / Work
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 4:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
afdude87's comment : haha wonder how long you've lived there...
Today, someone posted online a listing for a bicycle for sale, and accidentally put my phone number instead of their own. I have received more calls in one day than I have from friends and family in a week. FML
by wrongnumber / 01/14/2011 at 3:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my first job interview in months. The interviewer started by introducing herself and asking how I was. I got caught between introducing myself and telling her how I was and replied "I'm Kate thanks". FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 2:51am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 2:38am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/14/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm / Ireland / Intimacy
bagginzy's comment : Why? What was on your chest? Give us a pic and we'll find it; don't worry.