By Anonymous - 04/07/2012 13:48 - Canada - Bolton

Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 745
You deserved it 5 800

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Mrs. Bastard is very happy about is. Miss Bastard is only 5, so she only appreciates it when I play the piano.


MindFreakazoid 10

Ya OP you should've used the bushes. You could've been at one with nature and all that good stuff but now you have mud butt

If OP would have pooped and gotten caught, he would be registered as a sex offender. Lets see crap in your pants or a registered sex offender.... Yea I'm going to go with crapping in my pants. See OP just think of the positives of this unfortunate situation.

# 40 - if you think of taking a shit in the woods is a sexual thing, maybe you should check out this club I went to in Amsterdam in the early eighties!

yourbiggestfan4 0

Um, I rather not poop myself. Ever. For any reason.

# 66 I was assuming he was in public. But no taking a dump in the woods isnt a sexual thing, unless he receives a blumpkin.

There was once was a person named OP Who drank a lot of coffee and tea She went for a jog She dropped a log As she thought she only needed a pee.

74 - Throw in the blumpkin and we're talking a Whole New Game!

AGhost5445 25

Thank you 16 I didn't understand what he was saying.

MindFreakazoid 10

The old saying: The brown shorts run will always train you the best. Was taken a little to seriously there..

Not necessarily. Have you ever tried holding anything in for 5k? A mile or two yeah but I personally have never been able to do that...

Or how about that drive home when you know you can make it, but you cut it so close as the urge gets worse the closer you get? I hate it when that happens!

I walked home from school, 2 miles with 40 lb on my back, a few years ago. I made it all the way to the bathroom. Guess what happened when my pants button was stuck.

I guess it was a bit runny? Edit: Well... Technically mine has an adjective. Damn your fast fingers, DocBastard.

The doc has fast fingers? Oh ho ho! ;p I'm sure Miss Bastard is happy.

Mrs. Bastard is very happy about is. Miss Bastard is only 5, so she only appreciates it when I play the piano.

Mother of god, I made Doc seem like a pedo. Forgive me!

It's become apparent that Doc can do anything.

Inheritance 10 know what they say..When you gotta go, you gotta go o.o

MindFreakazoid 10

Your picture makes me happy :3

btstig 11

Next time wear depends on your jog. You can shit all over yourself.

metaphoristic 8
metaphoristic 8

There seems to e a lot of FMLs recently that diapers could have come in handy. Just get those pull up style depends and no one will know and you don't have to worry about ruining clothing.

KiddNYC1O 20

55- This is a good example why google is your friend and research is important.

metaphoristic 8

Well, I don't have the time to research or even consider researching everything that seems like a typo to me.

citymayer 7

No it doesn't still stand. I wouldn't research what I thought was a typo. Do you? If you do you must waste a lot of time. I'm sorry you have to be a dick over a mistake. Not everyone can be as smart or resourceful as you I guess.

KiddNYC1O 20

Yeah, because you didn't just waste time ranting to me over the internet. It's really not that hard or a waste of time to highlight a word you're not sure of and look for the definition. As far as the research goes, I didn't mean that literally. You don't know me. I wasn't trying to be a dick.

metaphoristic 8

Wouldn't highlighting a word and searching for its definition still be considered a form of research though?

Why would you do that?! It would be just plain uncomfortable to run while you have to take a shit.

And that's a lot more uncomfortable than simply pooping in a bush

borkchop1992 15

And there were no restaraunts or fast food places around for you to stop by to do it?

shaykay1995 5

Uh oh.. Looks like 4th of July fireworks went off a bit early today.. Huh?