Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
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By
DocBastard
| 38
So you had the runs?
By
DocBastard
| 38
Mrs. Bastard is very happy about is. Miss Bastard is only 5, so she only appreciates it when I play the piano.
COMMENTS
By
lu95
| 16
Ew that's gross
Reply
MindFreakazoid
| 10
Really? Wow cool story.
Reply
biggestfan23
| 11
Ya OP you should've used the bushes. You could've been at one with nature and all that good stuff but now you have mud butt
Reply
random_jay
| 6
Gross? Well I thought it was sexy.
Reply
Death_Hoe_Inn
| 10
And a little shitty
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
Cleveland: That's nasty...
Reply
Bluekaren16
| 19
If OP would have pooped and gotten caught, he would be registered as a sex offender. Lets see crap in your pants or a registered sex offender.... Yea I'm going to go with crapping in my pants. See OP just think of the positives of this unfortunate situation.
Reply
phatdaddy62
| 23
# 40 - if you think of taking a shit in the woods is a sexual thing, maybe you should check out this club I went to in Amsterdam in the early eighties!
Reply
yourbiggestfan4
| 0
Um, I rather not poop myself. Ever. For any reason.
Reply
Bluekaren16
| 19
# 66 I was assuming he was in public. But no taking a dump in the woods isnt a sexual thing, unless he receives a blumpkin.
Reply
efemel94
| 7
There was once was a person named OP
Who drank a lot of coffee and tea
She went for a jog
She dropped a log
As she thought she only needed a pee.
Who drank a lot of coffee and tea
She went for a jog
She dropped a log
As she thought she only needed a pee.
Reply
phatdaddy62
| 23
74 - Throw in the blumpkin and we're talking a Whole New Game!
Reply
suzy6293
| 3
What a clever little poem
By
aro2471
| 0
should of gone in the bushes
Reply
MindFreakazoid
| 10
Have**
Reply
AGhost5445
| 25
Thank you 16 I didn't understand what he was saying.
Reply
MindFreakazoid
| 10
You're very welcome
Reply
newbiehere99
| 6
That's some funny shit
By
DocBastard
| 38
So you had the runs?
Reply
TrueTriage
| 16
The old saying: The brown shorts run will always train you the best. Was taken a little to seriously there..
Reply
buck33
| 14
Not necessarily. Have you ever tried holding anything in for 5k? A mile or two yeah but I personally have never been able to do that...
Reply
mikeymayhem_87
| 15
Or how about that drive home when you know you can make it, but you cut it so close as the urge gets worse the closer you get? I hate it when that happens!
Reply
Nutty4Muffs
| 3
I walked home from school, 2 miles with 40 lb on my back, a few years ago. I made it all the way to the bathroom. Guess what happened when my pants button was stuck.
By
syki
| 22
I guess it was a bit runny?
Edit: Well... Technically mine has an adjective. Damn your fast fingers, DocBastard.
Edit: Well... Technically mine has an adjective. Damn your fast fingers, DocBastard.
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
The doc has fast fingers?
Oh ho ho! ;p
I'm sure Miss Bastard is happy.
Oh ho ho! ;p
I'm sure Miss Bastard is happy.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Mrs. Bastard is very happy about is. Miss Bastard is only 5, so she only appreciates it when I play the piano.
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
Mother of god, I made Doc seem like a pedo.
Forgive me!
Forgive me!
Reply
Jordanln97
| 9
It's become apparent that Doc can do anything.
Reply
Inheritance
| 10
DocBastard is my idol =]
By
KizzalKat
| 2
Well..you know what they say..When you gotta go, you gotta go o.o
Reply
MindFreakazoid
| 10
Your picture makes me happy :3
By
btstig
| 11
Next time wear depends on your jog. You can shit all over yourself.
Reply
metaphoristic
| 8
Autocorrect strikes again?
Reply
Rowdey
| 10
Depends are adult diapers.
Reply
metaphoristic
| 8
I didn't know. Oops.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
There seems to e a lot of FMLs recently that diapers could have come in handy. Just get those pull up style depends and no one will know and you don't have to worry about ruining clothing.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
55- This is a good example why google is your friend and research is important.
Reply
metaphoristic
| 8
Well, I don't have the time to research or even consider researching everything that seems like a typo to me.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
My point stands.
Reply
citymayer
| 7
No it doesn't still stand. I wouldn't research what I thought was a typo. Do you? If you do you must waste a lot of time. I'm sorry you have to be a dick over a mistake. Not everyone can be as smart or resourceful as you I guess.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Yeah, because you didn't just waste time ranting to me over the internet.
It's really not that hard or a waste of time to highlight a word you're not sure of and look for the definition. As far as the research goes, I didn't mean that literally.
You don't know me. I wasn't trying to be a dick.
It's really not that hard or a waste of time to highlight a word you're not sure of and look for the definition. As far as the research goes, I didn't mean that literally.
You don't know me. I wasn't trying to be a dick.
Reply
metaphoristic
| 8
Wouldn't highlighting a word and searching for its definition still be considered a form of research though?
Reply
kepryn80
| 1
that depends
By
YaboyVinnie
| 21
"Got. To. Hold- Ah.."
By
ADuckOnQuack_fml
| 0
Why would you do that?! It would be just plain uncomfortable to run while you have to take a shit.
Reply
trivel64
| 16
And that's a lot more uncomfortable than simply pooping in a bush
By
borkchop1992
| 15
And there were no restaraunts or fast food places around for you to stop by to do it?
By
shaykay1995
| 5
Uh oh.. Looks like 4th of July fireworks went off a bit early today.. Huh?