Love: Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time... - FML

By SweeT - 25/10/2008 16:55

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 932

You deserved it 55 108

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 07:52 - United States

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 054

You deserved it 9 228

A cashier's life

By amy - 16/10/2013 21:52 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 808

You deserved it 3 976

By Anonymous - 26/06/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 518

You deserved it 51 604

No joke

By SilverZephyr - 16/01/2015 12:49 - United States - Marion

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 662

You deserved it 3 479

By aere - 27/01/2009 12:24 - United States

Today, three girls introduced themselves to me. I had met all of them before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 124

You deserved it 2 849

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 2 043

Who's that weird guy?

By Anonymous - 27/12/2020 10:59

Today, I was trying to get a girl's attention, because I had a question. I shouted her name. No answer. I shouted again but louder. It wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 724

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 13:04 - United States

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Who the hell are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 022

You deserved it 4 899

Check these out

By Groom - 30/11/2008 10:51 - France

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 085

You deserved it 12 377

Oh the times, they are a-changin'

By toelie - 06/11/2017 22:00

Today, as two of my students walked into my classroom, I said, "Hi, ladies". One of them screamed at me: "Did you just assume my gender?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 104

You deserved it 603

Next

Top comments

pzzzz 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 14:43

so you went up to two girls and said "What time is it?" and they burst out laughing? thats a weird reaction, you should have been like "Im not trying to hit on you ***** i just need to know what time it is" and walk away so they feel bad too

chinitabonita 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:45

were you wearing a watch?

Comments

UGADAWG34 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 14:27

You have no game kiddo...

cowgod 0

Monday 14 December 2009 8:10

yeah what he should have done was yelled "**** TIME!!!" and stick his... never mind

isallwaysme 27

Saturday 15 December 2012 5:28

best pickup line ever.

chinitabonita 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 20:45

were you wearing a watch?

Master_Bait 0

Friday 7 May 2010 5:27

thats what i thought

AllThatHit 7

Sunday 19 June 2011 18:35

op: hey ladies! so... what time is it? girls: uh...dont you have a watch right there? op: its broken girls: ...

Zic_fml 7

Monday 2 March 2009 14:29

you know the opener always must be about the weather!!!!!111

brivielle 15

Saturday 17 May 2014 22:32

that isn't a very catching opener

jvjanisse 0

Monday 9 March 2009 9:28

are you in Georgia? I saw this happen... the guy was a passenger on a moped, more people laughed.

thebigO_fml 0

Friday 13 March 2009 20:44

you're a dork!

heatherjay 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 0:32

good one...

Sterling 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 10:36

Should have busted out the boyscout"i can tell the time of day by the position of the sun" trick might have saved ur butt

Mrmeatfold 2

Sunday 20 November 2011 4:23

I just shat a brick looking at your pic...

mister_moops 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 9:12

what kind of pick up line is that?

humanipod15 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 4:34

Too much of a Cliche! lol

pzzzz 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 14:43

so you went up to two girls and said "What time is it?" and they burst out laughing? thats a weird reaction, you should have been like "Im not trying to hit on you ***** i just need to know what time it is" and walk away so they feel bad too

mygiraffe 1

Friday 6 August 2010 12:39

win! agree

lilmisslovely13 15

Saturday 7 May 2011 15:12

hahaha!

rhiley 26

Sunday 22 May 2016 11:10

fragile masculinity

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 856

You deserved it 5 979

Today, my boyfriend came over. We'd planned on losing out virginities today. What we didn't plan on was having my 9-year-old brother and his friends making a video of "What teens do when no one is home." They taped the whole thing, including the five minutes it took us to get the condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 965

You deserved it 931

The Top

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 708

You deserved it 3 999

Today, I caught a grubby, evil-smelling, foul-mouthed woman blatantly shoplifting by stuffing electronics into her coat pockets, so I detained her and called the police. Less than an hour later I was fired. She was the shop owner's mother and “had permission” to just take stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 103

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 685

You deserved it 5 131

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 076

You deserved it 6 634

Today, my roommate is being evicted. Since we had some very good memories together, I was sad to come home and see all of her stuff gone...and half of my stuff, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 654

You deserved it 767

Today, my wife hates being a mom so much that our daughter is practically being raised by her grandparents, due to how often she just drops her at their house, multiple times a week. I of course pick her straight up as soon as I finish work, but it’s her bedtime only an hour later. This is not good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 171