Health: Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a...

By EpicFailAtItsFinest - 13/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 511

You deserved it 19 525

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 053

You deserved it 13 974

By Soap0015 - 16/08/2012 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 203

You deserved it 2 811

Baywatched out

By Username - 01/09/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 10 039

By mrWrong - 25/03/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 966

You deserved it 12 116

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 419

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 237

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 582

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 425

You deserved it 2 883

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 08:01

Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 81

Great first impression

By FirstImpressionist - 11/05/2022 14:00

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 135

Jessick_1 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:06

"Today, I had a seizure. I thought the lifeguard would save me but turns out they managed to knock themself out because they panicked. The ambulance took them to hospital, forgetting about me. FML" Poor woman.

SomeDude148 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:02

Maybe you should get a new job.

Comments

SomeDude148 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:02

Maybe you should get a new job.

mf_fml 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:02

at least the ambulance didn't waste a trip?

markh110 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:02

Holy crap, lame! Hope you're feeling better :(

rkcraig53 0

Thursday 2 September 2010 17:40

Shoot the pussy! then wrap the pussy!

stormer461 13

Sunday 3 October 2010 7:54

For some reason while I was reading this I heard the generic "bonk" of a cartoon character getting hit in the head.

polarbearpiss 15

Tuesday 9 September 2014 19:40

actully if you go into shock while being a life guard your not trained enough, imagine if a surgeon went into shock

everyonehatesyou 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:02

you walked into a tree, hahaha

pinkster2014 25

Tuesday 28 January 2014 21:31

This just reminded me of George of the Jungle... Watch out for that tree! xD

Serial 2

Monday 13 April 2009 10:04

that's one tough tree

Jessick_1 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:06

Mudkip101004 7

Thursday 11 August 2016 23:09

Listen, I know its been several years, but the fml clearly states her getting up and walking away after the seizure without any apparent harm.

JBiz_fml 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:08

You should look for another line of work. @ #5 - Throw your computer out of the nearest window , then go to the nearest freeway and play chicken with a bus. You'll win , I swear.

onigiriqueen 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:08

...you walked into a tree? Really? ...some lifeguard.

PureGold 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:17

...how long have you been a lifeguard? Maybe it's not the right job for you :/

because_im_bored 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:18

Although #5 was a bit harsh, I do agree. You shouldn't be in a position where you are supposed to be protecting others' lives if you can't even deal with someone having a seizure. You're lucky she wasn't seriously injured.