Today, I was waiting in the lobby of a modeling agency for my... - FML

By taptheturtle - 12/4/2009 07:00 - United States

Today, I was waiting in the lobby of a modeling agency for my interview to be a potential model and I was next in line. They called "NEXT!" and I walked in with a smile on my face. They stared at my face for a moment and then started yelling "NEXT". FML

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Tidy your room

Abuse

You snooze, you lose

By lesousterre - 15/7/2015 18:06 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my grandpa still receives more mail than me. He's been dead for three years. FML

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By fecurtis - 22/1/2009 14:38 - United States

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

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By Miss_Blaine - 29/6/2016 20:05 - United States - Houston

Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML

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By smdh - 22/10/2012 02:52 - United States

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/1/2011 20:09 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

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By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

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By barbieissocute - 1/2/2016 03:27 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

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By Byebye - 24/5/2012 19:30 - Netherlands - Sappemeer

Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML

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By unknown002 - 12/2/2010 01:25 - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

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By Sicko - 28/8/2010 23:52 - France

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

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By sharibaby - 30/4/2013 21:26 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

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By babyfatt - 16/12/2009 08:23 - Australia

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/6/2019 04:05

Today, my husband told me that for our anniversary he will be watching the UFC fight, because it is, "one of the biggest events ever and he just can't miss it." Apparently, our one-year wedding anniversary is not as important. To add to it, he said we should watch it together. Very romantic. FML

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By badmom - 10/6/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/1/2014 15:05 - United States - Bellflower

Today, my sister had me kicked out of her wedding reception for, in the words of her new husband, "harshing the buzz." FML

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By Red Face, too - 24/10/2018 13:30

Today, I saw Niagra Falls. Not the one in Canada, but the one that was released when I went to check on my period at work. I had no change of clothes. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/6/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

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By Frostbitten - 27/2/2013 03:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

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By Loved - 25/5/2019 16:15

Today, my boyfriend bought me an engagement ring. It turned out to be the wrong size and we had to return it, since the store said it couldn't be re-sized. As we headed home, I felt guilty, so I turned to him and apologized. His response? "It's OK honey, I didn't really want to marry you that much anyway." FML

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By gahdamnit - 28/5/2010 13:18 - Australia

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

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By DOGSNACHER - 29/12/2010 03:43 - United States

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

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By CallMeJesusFreak - 23/6/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, I couldn't prove my son has had chickenpox, so his school gave us the option of getting a potentially dangerous shot he didn't need, pay for an expensive blood test to show that he previously had the virus, or sign a waiver stating I'm a religious nut refusing medical treatment. FML

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By bm128902 - 1/10/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was going around saying that she tries to give time off to the other managers so they can spend time with their family and significant others. She looked at me and said she doesn't for me because I have no one special to spend time with. FML

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By city_girl - 4/2/2010 06:34 - United States

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

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By Cheyennereed - 17/2/2013 15:50 - United States - Shaw A F B

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

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By Chouse - 7/9/2012 01:56 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

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By Fail - 21/11/2009 05:59 - United States

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "so does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

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By loser - 3/1/2010 12:00 - United States

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

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By rapper in training - 11/2/2012 01:02 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

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By littlepeepboo - 30/1/2018 01:30

You want a piece of me?

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

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By welp24 - 28/10/2018 03:00

Today, at the age of 25, for the first time in my life, I was lying mostly naked in front of a man while he was inserting something in my body. Too bad that man was a doctor and that thing was a colonoscopy. FML

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By Quest for fun - 20/5/2017 04:00

Today, I was on a bus traveling from Denver to San Francisco with my boyfriend. We hoping to see some amazing sights and escape from stress. However, the bus breaking down in the middle of the desert and being forced to stay in a ratty motel was neither an amazing sight, nor stress relieving. FML

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By AvocadoPurse - 31/12/2019 16:00

Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML

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By Mackdaddy - 7/2/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/5/2019 16:07

Greased Lightning

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

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By santa_maria - 25/8/2011 21:45 - Reunion

Today, I had an interview for an internship at an independent lawyer's office. Hoping to increase my chances of being hired, I dressed up sexily with a short skirt, high heels, and ample cleavage. Turns out his wife handles the interviews. FML

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By MBrabs1996 - 19/12/2018 05:00

Today, despite the schedule saying I was off, I found out I’m supposed to be working because my boss changed the schedule without my knowledge. FML

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By banana - 26/2/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 21:32 - United States

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/5/2020 20:02

Johnny Weissmuller over here

Today, I was walking in the woods with the girl I like when I saw a vine overhanging a small creek. Trying to make her laugh, I took off my shirt and started swinging on the vine like Tarzan. The vine snapped and I fell into the creek. Guess who's missing half the skin on his back? FML

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Top comments

By Ohnoitslindsay | 0

#104903 - Sunday 12 April 2009 17:58

That's the industry.

By hiandbye | 0

#104967 - Sunday 12 April 2009 18:25

That's the way the business is... don't take it personally. You just don't have the right "look" for them. It's actually very common to be treated like this when you're a model.

COMMENTS

By thereitgo | 1

#104896 - Sunday 12 April 2009 17:57

hahaha ouch.

By kristenlee | 3

#104897 - Sunday 12 April 2009 17:57

LOL, it was probably your teeth, are they crooked/yellow? As a model you honestly need good teeth, especially in commercial modelling.

Reply

liller90 | 0

#1146704 - Tuesday 27 July 2010 8:54

2- Ever heard of photoshop?...

Reply

isaiaha11 | 2

#1312293 - Saturday 28 August 2010 16:42

#69 ftw

Reply

ferrettamer | 6

#1394924 - Sunday 12 September 2010 22:37

no what is Photoshop?

Reply

Mylees | 0

#1412605 - Thursday 16 September 2010 9:57

bitch don't talk like u know stuff esp when you are showing these 'yellow stones' of yours

Reply

jroxursox1 | 10

#3848614 - Sunday 8 January 2012 5:20

Is calling her names necessary?? And her picture isn't as bad as your making it out to be

Reply

Ninjasaurus18 | 9

#4512090 - Saturday 2 June 2012 14:19

72- Have you been living in a closet your entire life?

Reply

angeluv_2014 | 22

#6286843 - Sunday 10 May 2015 6:47

73- her teeth aren't even in the pic dummy

By PureGold | 0

#104898 - Sunday 12 April 2009 17:57

Aww, what a let down :(
Modeling agencies can be cruel...

Reply

deerescu | 1

#2372437 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 10:29

jealous

By Ohnoitslindsay | 0

#104903 - Sunday 12 April 2009 17:58

That's the industry.

By ravioli221 | 0

#104907 - Sunday 12 April 2009 18:00

Modeling is a tough game, the fact that you got in the door was a good sign. They can make decisions in a snap based on your behavior to decide your potential, I'd wait for a callback, may have good news for you.

By AFitz | 0

#104910 - Sunday 12 April 2009 18:01

aw that was mean!

By claritin | 0

#104915 - Sunday 12 April 2009 18:03

Well, modeling is incredibly selective. Plenty of pretty girls can't/wouldn't be good models. Nothing personal!

By guitardedman | 0

#104926 - Sunday 12 April 2009 18:08

that is how modeling works...

By qwertyuiop8989 | 0

#104945 - Sunday 12 April 2009 18:14

Idk why ugly bitches think they have a shot at modeling whent they're fugly! You must think a little bit too highly of yourself and someone finally told you the truth that you aint all that and a bag of chips.

By LLsuperfly | 0

#104951 - Sunday 12 April 2009 18:15

you're pretty enough to be in the modeling business...
stop bitching, you sound pretty lucky to me

Reply

missedwidow | 5

#4584614 - Tuesday 19 June 2012 0:21

You don't know she pretty. She could THINk she's pretty and tried out then got rejected cos she's ugly.