By Kate - United States

Don't tread on me

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57753

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Embarrassing

Relatable

Shoes

Transportation

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Paternity test before the rest

Drugs are bad, well, some of them

By Anonymous - United States - Pittsfield

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37407

You deserved it

3733

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By bjfail - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22385

You deserved it

4850

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By BFFN - United Kingdom - Glasgow

BFF

Today, my best friend told me she no longer wants an "active friendship" with me. She says she doesn't have time to see me, since she has a boyfriend and a bunch of friends she's spent years bitching to me about. We've gone from a 14-year friendship to awkwardly nodding at each other in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22562

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1325

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By rert

Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML

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1537

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116

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By Anonymous - United States - Rahway

Confused

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

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46476

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5991

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By squarecircles - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while working at my unfulfilling part-time job, my colleague said, "Are you aware of how much you sigh?" And then she said, "You're too young for that." So, am I supposed to hold my breath now? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1438

You deserved it

522

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By Ben - United States

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20979

You deserved it

17320

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

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43582

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3018

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

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44277

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3025

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By Anonymous - United States - Dallas

Today, at a Christmas party, a cute girl was making a show of standing under some mistletoe. As I walked over, she quickly moved away in the opposite direction. FML

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32676

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By Anonymous - 23/6/2021 16:01 - Spain

Broken heart

Today, my crush DM-ed my best friend, asking her to meet "without me knowing about it." We had been meeting occasionally for at least 8 years. In fact, a few days ago I'd told him that I was going to be in his town and he replied that he wouldn't be there that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

843

You deserved it

187

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By Nosmie

Today, the worst part about not having a sense of smell is that I can’t tell if anyone ate pizza without me. Unless I see an empty box in the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1598

You deserved it

248

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41423

You deserved it

3111

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By butterbody - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a coffee shop. As I headed over to stand in line, I tripped over my own feet. I got back up, then tripped up yet again. Everyone was staring, and I was so mortified that I went to leave. I then struggled with the door under their glares before realising it opened the other way. FML

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44881

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By RandomLG94 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25932

You deserved it

1559

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By Anonymous

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2225

You deserved it

677

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By Allen - United States

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46696

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3178

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By Anonymous

Today, after being a few minutes late to work a few times this week, I left the house super early this morning. When I got to work, security hadn’t unlocked the doors yet, so I waited in my car, where I ended up falling asleep and sleeping through most of my entire morning shift. FML

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955

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1477

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By HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat - Canada - Victoria

Today, I'm celebrating New Years with my cat. I made her a cake. FML

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31189

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6842

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By pitytitty - United States - San Francisco

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34376

You deserved it

7131

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By billjoebob424 - Canada

Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20338

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7421

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By thegreatcometofawayhamilton

Today, I twisted my ankle and fractured my wrist while dancing. I audition for a performing arts school in one week. FML

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3106

You deserved it

264

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By over prtective father - United States - Washington

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

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45556

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By Ashley Marshburn - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked into my home office and said F*** you! Then she ran to my husband and said "Did I say it right?" FML

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40887

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5225

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By Anonymous - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

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34827

You deserved it

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By anonymous - United States - Hillsboro

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

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49967

You deserved it

2694

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, whenever I do something that the kid I am babysitting likes, he pats me on the head and says "good girl". I'm whipped by a seven year old. FML

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31454

You deserved it

8536

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By Notfamous - United States - West Point

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

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23722

You deserved it

1510

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By Ouch - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

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13048

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By XavierLing

Today, my thigh was itchy, so I went into a bathroom stall to scratch it. I, for some reason, moaned out loud while doing it. After that, the men's bathroom went completely silent. FML

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1035

You deserved it

706

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By LadyLola - United States - Dayton

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

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62195

You deserved it

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By KMO - United States

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

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13072

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By Anonymous - Australia - Mulgrave

Get Out

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks

51055

You deserved it

8103

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By artmfanforever - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my car. While walking home to retrieve the spare, I realized I locked my house keys inside the house this morning. Now I must decide whether to break into my house or car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14294

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By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend's 16-year-old daughter got a job. I'm 29, with a Master's degree and I'm still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1671

You deserved it

559

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By iliterallypoopedmyself - Australia

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30694

You deserved it

3864

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By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36913

You deserved it

3574

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By unsatisfying - Australia

Countdown

Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

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26393

You deserved it

15504

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By Anonymous - United States - Hyattsville

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

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48155

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3742

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By mmaisie - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a 2000 word essay on "Las Vegas - The City That Never Sleeps". I was proud of my work, until someone pointed out that New York is "The City That Never Sleeps", not Vegas. FML

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11580

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Top comments

By aupilot | 0

#137506 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

Ouch. What a bitch.

By loyalwolf06 | 0

#137545 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:21

It sucks to be going somewhere with only one shoe on though...how weird and embarrassing. :P Also depending on where you're going, it could be pretty messy without a shoe.

COMMENTS

By aupilot | 0

#137506 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

Ouch. What a bitch.

Goldenchest | 14

#4177934 - Saturday 17 March 2012 15:29

You're waiting for a train... A train that will take you far away...

superpoptart | 24

#5252448 - Sunday 16 December 2012 16:08

HI PERSON FROM THE FUTURE :D I love you reference

abnormalbird | 11

#5851528 - Saturday 8 February 2014 1:54

No. It can take you anyywheeere.

By XanderK | 0

#137507 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

Wow. YLIF.

By Bmlacme | 3

#137508 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:16

AWW!! that suckss!! :[

By JadeRose_fml | 8

#137515 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:17

damn. hope the shoe wasn't expensive. it sucks that you're down a shoe now! lol

By ohhboyy | 0

#137518 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:17

eh it's not that much of an fml

By stargirl14 | 0

#137533 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:19

what kind of shoes do you wear?! when someone walks on the back of my shoes that def doesnt happen

googlefrewdnoob | 0

#3357826 - Wednesday 28 September 2011 2:18

Springloaded sandals, idiot

By xTc_JEWboy | 0

#137536 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:19

just a shoe
jew

By Jordie210 | 0

#137544 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:20

boo hoo. get over it.

By loyalwolf06 | 0

#137545 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:21

It sucks to be going somewhere with only one shoe on though...how weird and embarrassing. :P Also depending on where you're going, it could be pretty messy without a shoe.

By genius_man16 | 0

#137546 - Thursday 23 April 2009 23:21

If she didn't apologize it doubles the FML of this story.

If it was an expensive shoe, it triples it.