Health: Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood,...

By Jake - 29/04/2009 08:06 - Australia

Today, as I was taking an evening jog around my neighbourhood, I passed an elderly woman. I grinned at her as sign of friendliness to a common pedestrian. She grinned back. Whilst staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 109

You deserved it 6 227

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Checked out

By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 16:01

Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 967

You deserved it 40 499

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 989

You deserved it 4 573

By FatRunner - 05/11/2009 07:41 - New Zealand

Today, while going for my daily run, a woman stopped me and said, "I think it's so great that people of your size are comfortable enough to run and show their bodies in public." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 955

You deserved it 5 272

By Tom - 06/06/2017 11:00 - United States - Antelope

Today, I went for my usual morning run. Halfway through, I needed to pee, so I found a perfect bush… to walk in on a lady who had also stopped to pee. I was called a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 510

You deserved it 457

By Fonz - 26/01/2010 14:39 - United States

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 521

You deserved it 56 666

By Jim Smith - 21/02/2009 02:37 - United States

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 347

You deserved it 27 716

By schmoodles - 07/05/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 805

You deserved it 70 910

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 559

By tabbycacti - 30/11/2015 13:06 - Australia

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light. I saw my neighbour and her new boyfriend crossing the road, then noticed as he started grabbing his crotch, but thought nothing of it. They both then pulled down their pants and urinated in the middle of the busy intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 1 790

farmgirl 3

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:15

old woman are horny! (and at least you know you got a good crotch)

Higgyoo 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:15

Maybe you just thought she was. Or maybe you just got a hot date for tonight.

Comments

farmgirl 3

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:15

old woman are horny! (and at least you know you got a good crotch)

osemness 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 3:16

u kno since u r an old lady

MrCatman1125 2

Sunday 14 October 2012 23:30

99 has great spelling.

camillewhite1 12

Sunday 27 January 2013 19:43

U must be hot

Credibleskills 28

Monday 7 April 2014 6:33

you're right

Higgyoo 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:15

Maybe you just thought she was. Or maybe you just got a hot date for tonight.

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:18

Grab-a-granny. Best gumming of your life. ;-)

Brittney_E 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 2:10

lmao like in yes man

mrs_bruno_mars 14

Sunday 9 October 2011 5:29

I was just thinking that :)

24788 6

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:20

You just got eye ****** by an elderly women! I bet that's creepy as hell for you.

420hiadventurer 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:20

get her number.

rukusrazor 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:22

Well then don't wear those paint-on leotards that bikers wear whilst jogging.

butteredtoast 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:23

Not an FML. THIS IS COMPLETELY LAME.

Dhamy 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:29

Lmao. She wants you,bad!

lovetoday_fml 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:32

so? ugh

Daysgoby 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:33

LMFAO

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 191

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 197

You deserved it 1 009

Today, I learned that all of my "friends" refer to me as the, "Jar Jar Binks" of our circle of friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 527

You deserved it 474

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 864

You deserved it 5 119

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 403

You deserved it 3 657

Today, some dumbass ripped my facemask off, spit in my face, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 204

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 815

Same thing different taste

Checked out

Top comments

Comments