By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 561
You deserved it 8 975

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

If you're going to keep a key under a flowerpot, you might as well keep your door unlocked. If a burglar wants to get into your house, the first thing he's going to do is check under flowerpots for keys.

"...Well I started throwin' things and I scared folks half to death I got up in his face and smelled whiskey on his breath Didn't give a second thought to being thrown in jail Cause baby to hammer everything looks like a nail And I was mad as hell Well those pretty girls their all the same But their damn well gonna know my name I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend..." Anyone want to say this doesn't relate to the FML?

Comments

She's guilty of unlawful entry, larceny, and arson. Take that bitch to small-claims court, and let the legal system deal with her psycho ass.

She's a woman. Unless she's ugly, they're going to let her get away with it.

This. Take that girl to small claims court. Crazy bitch shouldn't get away with shit like this because she has mental problems and can't handle her emotions properly and function in the real world. #102 - you're an idiot. I'm torn on this one. FYL for breaking up with an out-of-her-mind cunt who does shit like this, and YDI not remembering to hide the spare key. Your hair products mean shit if she has access to your ENTIRE PLACE and can do so much worse. Seriously, who does that? Especially knowing that SHE KNEW where it was. I mean, COME ON. Duh.

I totally agree. take her ass to court, make the bitch pay

F his life for breaking up with her? She's freaking crazy what was he suppose to do? Stay with her? I don't think so About the part with the key I agree

ydi for keeping the key under a flowerpot. that's so old school

threer 30

#102- Oooh yeah.. Because she has hormones, a vagina, and breasts she gets out free unless her face isn't attractive. Shut the fuck up, you bitch ass sexist loser. Women do not get off free and you have no evidence to prove your claim. Suck it, bitch.

SECOND!!! OP. Have fun dealing with her. Im sure you'll find a good way to get back at her

...."arsony"? i think youre confusing larceny and arson there, buddy

***** 'likes' 129s comment.

'dislikes' 143s comment.

"...Well I started throwin' things and I scared folks half to death I got up in his face and smelled whiskey on his breath Didn't give a second thought to being thrown in jail Cause baby to hammer everything looks like a nail And I was mad as hell Well those pretty girls their all the same But their damn well gonna know my name I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend I'm a crazy Ex-Girlfriend..." Anyone want to say this doesn't relate to the FML?

Hmmm.... could this be Unregistered in disguise? Come again to try to convince me to get a fohawk like "all the other preps" so i can change my pic and he can jack off to it?

ireply_w_lyrics - he obviously likes "death metal" and is TOTALLY badass since he has 666 at the end of his name. Listening to *CHUG CHUG CHUG* SAATANNNNN *GROWL* *WIDDLY WEEDLY* makes him an automatic xxxDEATHxMETALxGOTHxHOTxTOPICx666xxx badass, so therefore, he has any right to call anybody a prep as a derogatory term. Oh yeah, I found a picture of him too! http://i25.tinypic.com/k51km1.jpg

Allmidnighteyes, you, my friend, are a true hero. I shall try to find unused lyrics for you, as i have already stated "Here's to you!" And i dunno, i think hes gonna start braggin about doin pot, too (or again if it is Unregistered in disguise)

Lol, another idiot. Don't get that fucking Metalcore/Deathcore shit mixed up with true metal. None of that core chug chug hot topic scenester bullshit in death metal. And gothic? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And nightwish? BWAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOD DO YOU EMO COCKSUCKERS JUST GET MORE AND MORE DUMBER?!?!?!?!

^ learn sarcasm, you fucking douchenozzle. I know what metal is, and I don't have to prove it to you. Also, it's 616, not 666. Edumacate yourself, broseidon and ireply - rippin' off drake's shitty song here... i say, "you the fuckin best! you the fuckin best! you the fuckin best! you the fuckin best!"

PS - Emo is an offshoot of 80's hardcore punk. Fail again on your part, you shitmung.

WTF am I talking about? I make as much sense as a drunken cat walking about on a keyboard.

The only music I listen to these days is when I watch the X Factor anyway.

You know what? you remind me of that little spot of shit that hits the side of the toilet right above the water when you take a massive dump and stays there. It does not rinse away no matter hard much you or anyone else flushes, and it just dries. Staying there nearly permanently, and annoying everyone to the point where they want to punch a baby in the face. You just don't go away no matter how much you are hated by everyone, and it takes some intensely jacked guy (Mr. Clean, we shall call him) to get rid of you. You, sir, are the Shit Stain on the toilet bowl that is FML.com

Well, you can Lysol those away, so I recommend he drinks Lysol ;D

HOLY TITS. one of my comments got edited somehow. ??????

and the best song i could get for allmidnighteyes is hero of war (if you consider arguing war) i shall continue my quest

So I pissed in his hands? Well, whatever tickles his gooch.....

Yup! Now what is this flag of?

[raises hand] Question! Why does Nightwish = emo, or even goth? I am listening right now, coincidentally, and it doesn't sound very BAWWW LIFE SUCKS AND/OR PEOPLE SUCK to me.

Because deathmetal666 has no musical knowledge out of "death metal" Nightiwsh, however, are classified as "gothic/symphonic metal" a lot of times. Although that depressive teenager stuff has no correlation whatsoever to emo nor goth, which again, are both 2 completely different genres that originated in the 80's. Emo died around the mid to late 90's, and the goth scene is BOOMING in Europe today

Really? I thought "offically" they are symphonic and power. I've definitely heard them described as gothic though (which is why I brought it up).... but it just has never sounded like it to me, ever lol Maybe I am just silly.

@24 - OMG THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD! LOL!

I listen to Bros

moar liek SHITKNOT amirite? lawlawlawlawl xDDDD

I love Nightwish, favourite band. Well their stuff has changed over the years. Albums like Angels fall first and Century Child were a bit more gothic, Once was quite a bit of Operatic Metal (similar to symphonic apparently). Oceanborn I guess was a bit more Power Metal, with songs like stargazers, but some there were also symphonic. So I guess you could say they're a bit of everything depending

I hate Nightwish without Tarja =/

They are still Nightwish, with or without Tarja, personally i Love them either way... I think wikipedia now classes them as Symphonic Power Metal.

Wow. Time to get back on track, I'd say.

you're welcome, mercy - AME ♥

metals better than half the fucking music these days. "Baby, baby, OOH." how the fuck is that one of the 'top tens' these days?

thats bad. could you sue her somehow? for trespassing and other shit? i dont know if you could. im just asking,

Most likely he could. It doesn't matter that he left the key under the mat, she's not allowed to just break in without being invited, trespass on his property, and commit arson.

#79, i'm assuming he figured out she was a psycho once he started dating her and that's why he wanted to break up...which was pretty much inevitable. but i would have suggested in this case to make her want to break up with you

It's too bad FML can't prepare you for bonfires on your lawn. Only for the rare situation that someone switches your shampoo with a hair remover that smells like burning rubber.

Press charges. You'll at least get compensated. But it still sucks, don't date freaks in the future

that bitch be crazy! shit boy... make her jealous by hooking up with a random taking pics putting em up on facebook or myspace...somewhere she can see them! make sure you date them as the day after you broke up. She'll get pissed! not like she can do worse on your shit!

My opinion would be to have a scavenger hunt. There would be a note from a "random person" on her front door. it would be the start. It would lead, eventually, to some place of significant value, for example where he asked her out (freaks like this are obsessive enough to remember). The "treasure" will be in a nicely wrapped box, with a handwritten note on it saying "Congratulations on finding the treasure!" or, you know, something more creative. And inside must be pictures of at least 7 or 8 one-night-stands, about 3-4 with crazy fetishes (preferably ones that she had, but you wouldn't agree to)

YLIF and YDI for keeping your key under your flowerpot. Who does that these days?

No shit, the least he could have done was change the hiding spot since she obviously knew the key was there.

Hell hath no fury......... Just be glad it wasn't a burglar who found the key - they take everything! YDI for leaving a key out.