By SamWGovan - 9/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London
  Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
SamWGovan Say more :
Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.
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  FEZ16  |  3

Actually if it tastes salty that means your not cleaning your "tool" good enough or your eating stuff with to much salt. And pee shouldn't taste salty either. A lot of science channel helps and a lot of sluty girls from school that talk about it.
So either u girls are sucking on something dirty or tasting something he ate a lot of.

By  vanessa09865  |  23

haha that is so awesome! Sucks for you but hilaaaaaarious, btw to anyone who's confused: he was masturbating

  vanessa09865  |  23

ok i included that in my comment because someone else was confused but it seems their comment disappeared. what they said was "jerkin' the gherkin?" and they seemed confused so i felt it necessary in case anyone else was confused. Don't be a jerk because not everyone may know sexual slang.

Edit: i figured if one person was confused, other might be as well but that doesn't seem to be the situation now. Just thinking ahead (haha penis reference)

  vanessa09865  |  23

They deleted their comment, so irrelevant

  gracehi  |  31

50, No, I saw it too. 1 originally said, "Jerkin' the gherkin?" I guess she edited it later, leaving 3 hanging to look like a nonsensical douche. Don't know why you guys are being so hard on 3. He was just trying to help.

  Dracoboxer357  |  35

77- But masturbating is just so Zen! And really, masturbating and meditating sound similar, where in both cases, you achieve an altered state of awareness! ;)
People jerk off standing up, sitting down, laying down, or even on a roller coaster. Being cross legged while finding your inner peace, is of no surprise to me. ;P


#124, Ancient Egyptians would incorporate masturbation into meditation, using the ankh to awaken the kundalini upon orgasm and send the energy up through the spine and back down, stimulating the chakras and, if I remember correctly, unlocking spiritual awareness. Or something like that!

  Kallian_fml  |  21

30- Well when it's fresh it's absolutely revolting. Once it starts to get crusty the smell disappears but it becomes harder to get out of your nose...

On a serious note though, just seeing semen makes me want to spew, so I have no intention of taking a big whiff of it.

  Kallian_fml  |  21

Of course you can lilhellian. :)

We only have three rules here at the Gene Pool.
1. No running, jumping or diving.
2. Swimwear must not be worn at any time.
3. Please refrain from swallowing the 'water'.