Scary and Garden: Maybe I'm Amazed

Maybe I'm Amazed

By cachow - 06/09/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled, "Hello?" There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 970

You deserved it 36 394

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Nell - 30/06/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 458

You deserved it 37 399

Making a scene

By becca1417 - 01/09/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed, "Holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 775

You deserved it 45 395

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 04:20 - Canada

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 466

You deserved it 66 275

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

By Nicole - 20/02/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 546

You deserved it 3 302

By anon - 03/02/2015 07:50 - United States - Bloomington

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 789

You deserved it 32 930

Sorry dude

By Mystic241 - 09/04/2022 06:00

Today, I went to check my mail but there was a guy standing at the mailbox. I said, "Hey, get the fuck away from there." It was the mailman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 1 588

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

By faul - 26/09/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, a lady told me I looked like Paul McCartney in his youth. With that little confidence boost, I told my girlfriend. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that she didn't know who Paul McCartney is, or how she is now obsessively Googling pictures of him and is practically drooling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 213

By Greig - 22/05/2011 12:18 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 965

You deserved it 3 795

Avoidance issues

By ProAwkward - 18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 792

You deserved it 5 860

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:03

Where can I get one of these?

imajinethat 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 14:02

YDI for not recognizing a Legend when you saw him.

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:03

Where can I get one of these?

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:08

Why do you NEED one of these, Alan?

allmidnighteyes 10

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:09

No comment.

freddyyy 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 15:56

Why WOULDN'T you need one?

dimkims 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 19:03

Why wouldn't you want one!

ark864 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 15:42

lol i would steal it =]

amy397123 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:12

I lol'd.

hairt 4

Tuesday 14 September 2010 17:15

me too hahahah it's like op stupidly yelled hello at no one lolololololololol

breenarae25 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 2:34

creepy but lol

blameyourself 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:12

you say goodbye...

mwz777 0

Monday 29 March 2010 16:45

and I say hello

pu13 5

Sunday 23 May 2010 4:49

hello goodbye

V4ZQU3Z 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 1:38

hola adios

chunkymunky666 0

Sunday 5 December 2010 9:49

I don't know y u say goodbye I say hello :D

MichelleMaBelle_fml 16

Saturday 1 August 2015 20:23

I sang that once

fungigiby7 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:13

Haha "get your very own cardboard stalker now" Only 9.99$

quontag 15

Monday 18 June 2012 6:20

$9.99*

Lawrence_Tam 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:15

lol wow :) nice one, not entirely your fault tho i guess

Emico_fml 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:24

******* hell where can I buy me a life sized cardboard Paul?!

BurpusMe 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:29

#10 FTW!!!

slipkid 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:38

damn I want one!

Magic_Stars 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:58

it isnt really that bad :P

sublime93 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 13:14

...So? Is there a part 2 to the story?

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Gross Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, I had to pick up my brother and his girlfriend from the bar at 2:00am because they were too drunk to drive themselves and had no money for an Uber. Five minutes into the ride, they started going at it in the back of my car. I don't think I'll be doing favors again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 655

You deserved it 532

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 667

You deserved it 39 750

The Top

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 268

You deserved it 9 892

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 004

You deserved it 3 406

Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 640

You deserved it 40 758

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 298

You deserved it 4 869

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 115

You deserved it 52 464

Today, my brother-in-law still insists on referring to me as "his brother's wife" and tells everyone I'm not his "sister-in-law." I've been married to his brother for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 173

Maybe I'm Amazed

Same thing different taste

Making a scene

Sorry dude

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Avoidance issues

Top comments

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