Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed... - FML

By indecentcameraexposure - 5/9/2009 21:14 - Canada

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

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Season finale

Fashion Police

TMI

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mixed CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mixed CD in the trash. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/1/2010 08:09 - United States

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

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By Jlipka - 22/5/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

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By Anon - 5/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/2/2017 17:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my mom asked why my three-year-old son is named Trevor. After I told her it was from my favorite game, GTA V, she hit me over the head with a shoe. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/8/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

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By unemployed - 10/3/2009 02:00 - United States

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

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By diggingaplotforone - 11/8/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

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By Kittykatkrunch - 12/11/2009 05:09 - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

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By scared - 2/10/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

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By imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck - 27/11/2012 01:41 - United States - San Mateo

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

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By screwed - 30/7/2009 03:20 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

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By Fish - 19/3/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

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By short&stout - 26/8/2017 20:00

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

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By Ethan - 9/3/2009 13:35 - Australia

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

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By beachedwhale21 - 22/6/2020 05:01

Always save to the cloud!

Today, I finally finished typing up a story I had been working on for about 7 months, saved it on my computer and left to hang with friends. Came home later to find my dad had sold my laptop in order to pay his phone bill. My hard work is now gone. FML

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By emancipate my ass - 24/7/2016 04:02

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2015 01:50 - United States - Guthrie

Today, I went running. I live in a small town and people know me fairly well. It was dark when I went to avoid the heat. I was almost finished with my run when the cop comes up and asks me what I'm running from. Clearly being fat and out of shape is not a good enough alibi. FML

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By OH COME ON - 29/12/2011 15:48 - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

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By Hopelesshomeless - 12/3/2013 18:35 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I moved back to my home town. My best friend and I had arranged to rent a house together that we both liked. I finished my last day at work and made the three-hour drive, only for her to break down and tell me that she isn't "ready" to move out of her parents' basement. She's 25. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/6/2015 03:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

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By HeIsKindaRightTho - 16/9/2014 04:31 - United States - Houghton

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2019 10:00

Today, I pretended to have a heart attack so my baby sister would know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she drank my soda instead of helping me. FML

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By MiserableGradStudent - 11/12/2017 01:30

Triple Dog Dare

Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

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By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

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By cakegirl - 26/5/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML

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By xXEndlesslullabyXx - 5/6/2011 18:15 - United States

Today, my grandmother's excuse for not going to my college graduation was because she'd already bought her bingo card. FML

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By Gottabekidding - 9/9/2016 00:33 - United States - Ashland

Today, my workplace instituted a policy in which employees must stop and write down what they are doing every fifteen minutes. FML

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By nothingdoes - 27/10/2010 17:59 - United States

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

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By CoronaDating - 23/3/2020 23:10

Covid-19 vs. Sex life

Today, I've been single for a couple of months. The last time I was single, Tinder and dating apps didn't exist. After figuring out how to be successful with those and setting up several dates, I've already had 3 date cancellations for this week because of the coronavirus. It's going to be a long couple of months. FML

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By nick - 22/3/2009 00:06 - United States

Today, I was on a cruise and fell asleep next to the pool. I had an intense dream that I had fallen off into the ocean. I rolled off my sun chair into the water and woke up screaming uncontrollably, I thought I was in the ocean. I was in the kiddy pool. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/2/2017 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I discovered why the toilet seat is often sticky in the morning. My husband is too lazy to lift the seat, instead opting to pee all over it and sleepily wipe it down with loo paper if he notices a splash. He doesn't see why it's a problem since he 'cleans' it. FML

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By KittenTitz - 3/5/2020 20:00

Planned parenthood

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

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By Telemarket - 4/4/2012 10:58 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

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By Will this stupid fad ever end? - 6/3/2013 11:51 - United States

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/9/2013 23:58 - United States - Elmhurst

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

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By badplannning - 30/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Naperville

Today, my date suggested we go to 10:30 p.m. movie so we could "talk" in the car afterwards, when the parking lot was empty. Thus, at 1 a.m., I thought we were going to make out. However, he only asked where I get my car air freshener from, had me write down the scent, and then suggested we go home. FML

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By Pooperscooper - 20/7/2009 18:45 - France

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year old, and you hear the toilet flush and then the words "uh oh", it's already too late. FML

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By InTheDoghouse23 - 24/8/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my wife and I had another couple over. My wife was beside me while we all talked in the kitchen. I turned to put something in the fridge, and the other couple went into the next room. Turning back, I groped my wife's breasts playfully. She screamed and slapped me. It wasn't my wife. FML

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Top comments

By Pandasaur | 0

#542200 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Oops. People snickering when they see you naked is never a good sign. FYL.

By Paigeth | 0

#542234 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:28

No offense, but KPK's (Kodak Picture Kiosks, as they're called), are very simple to use. It even speaks to you and tells you what to do.

COMMENTS

By Pandasaur | 0

#542200 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Oops. People snickering when they see you naked is never a good sign. FYL.

Reply

IamSpartacus | 0

#542753 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:15

First reply!

Reply

Zombierella | 2

#542809 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:42

FREE PORN

Reply

seanreddog | 4

#542922 - Sunday 6 September 2009 7:23

YDI FOR SELLING YOURSELF AT WALMART. Your "always low prices, always" for a reason, fat bìtch.

Reply

greendaygirl999 | 5

#966286 - Monday 22 March 2010 7:57

YDI for being a slut and taking nudies

Reply

NoahStaz | 3

#2242557 - Saturday 26 March 2011 2:41

It was a dude...

Reply

twilightluver347 | 7

#2270100 - Thursday 31 March 2011 4:26

and that makes it any better?

Reply

Sae_Ghelk | 6

#3194494 - Sunday 28 August 2011 11:21

atleast he doesen't like twilight.

Reply

KatherineAnne | 7

#3260603 - Friday 9 September 2011 5:03

I'd snicker if I saw a guy was taking nudes. Yukkk I don't want to see pictures of dicks lol

By PoeticPixie | 0

#542206 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:23

That's why you check these things beforehand. Be a little smarter next time

By _anonymoose_ | 0

#542211 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

YDI

By Paigeth | 0

#542234 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:28

No offense, but KPK's (Kodak Picture Kiosks, as they're called), are very simple to use. It even speaks to you and tells you what to do.

By YourLifeIsntOver | 0

#542238 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:29

I think you deserve to be put on the WHOF! (Walmart Hall of Fame). FYL for sure.

Reply

#542771 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:24

Or Hall of Shame, depending on if they were snickering because of the nudes, or because of something about the nudes :o

Reply

gummibehrs | 4

#542777 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:26

Either way it's funny :D

By null_fml | 11

#542241 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:29

You take enough naked pictures of yourself that you can actually lose track of / forget about them?

By OneandOnlyOne | 0

#542242 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:29

They were laughing, NOT snickering. You must be Really tiny!!

Reply

mattjakon | 6

#3125963 - Wednesday 17 August 2011 15:03

who said it was a guy ?

Reply

KailyKii | 11

#3492197 - Wednesday 26 October 2011 10:45

Well if you look at the post you can clearly see it.

By Chowi_fml | 0

#542244 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:30

Wacky Canadian!

By iljajlm | 4

#542263 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:35

I don't see why pepole randomly take nude pics of themselves. But YDI. Check your damn camera first.

By shootingstar8D | 0

#542296 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:48

Who cares you won't see them again