Miscellaneous: Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed...

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 100

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 103

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 40

05/09/2009 21:14

Today, I was using a Kodak Picture Maker in Walmart. I needed help using the machine so the lady that works there came over and tried to load my pictures. I heard some snickering behind me from the people in line. Turns out the pictures loaded. Even the nude ones I forgot about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 909

You deserved it 47 921

Miscellaneous

The smell detective is on the case

Our house, in the middle of our street

The sweet smell of success

12/07/2013 20:40

Today, I felt lousy and decided to give myself a pep-talk in the mirror. After a while, I cheered up and went about my day. I soon found out that my sister had recorded me through the crack of my door and posted the video on Facebook. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 989

You deserved it 6 791

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

By Rhett_15 - 01/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 362

You deserved it 899

11/08/2016 15:32

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 105

You deserved it 2 504

09/04/2013 04:59

Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 248

You deserved it 5 644

15/09/2011 00:21

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 6 075

29/11/2009 13:49

Today, I was shopping at the grocery market and was next in line. Behind me was a woman who only had two items, so I nicely let her in front of me, as it looked like she was in a hurry. When she was all rung up, she decided to pay her $16.45 in loose change which needed to be counted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 059

You deserved it 6 199

04/05/2012 21:09

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 778

You deserved it 3 369

04/11/2011 23:25

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 472

You deserved it 4 265

25/07/2014 18:16

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 041

You deserved it 4 001

10/12/2009 17:35

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 906

You deserved it 29 884

31/07/2009 17:21

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 145

You deserved it 7 984

10/08/2009 02:13

Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 726

You deserved it 13 445

07/09/2013 14:17

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 581

You deserved it 4 861

14/03/2017 22:00

Today, while meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time, the first comment I received was, "Well, at least this one is white." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 905

You deserved it 437

09/12/2018 12:30

Today, I finally got past my anxiety and confessed my feelings to the guy I like and have been intimate with. He responded that he just still wants to be close friends with me and still bang me monogamously but with no relationship... FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 022

You deserved it 491

26/02/2012 04:09

Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 074

You deserved it 28 441

12/06/2015 06:50

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 510

You deserved it 8 382

12/01/2010 06:30

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 749

You deserved it 9 271

25/05/2010 04:55

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 545

You deserved it 4 252

18/05/2009 12:40

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 910

You deserved it 8 401

9 to 5, what a way to not make a living

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 18:01

Today, I excitedly went to check this week's paycheck, only to see that I only received $9.00. This isn't a mistake, this is really what I make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 143

Not feeling it

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 03:59

Today, it's the 11th time in a row my wife has promised sex, then backed out. Some were good valid reasons I’ll admit, but this time we got as far as naked dry-humping when she suddenly decided she was too upset about our cat dying 8 years ago, so instead she played on her phone until she fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 183

13/04/2012 14:15

Today, my husband told me to stop faking being sick, because, "morning sickness doesn't happen after noon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 3 305

Herpes goes to Monaco

By amethyst334 - 24/08/2021 18:01

Today, after receiving a negative herpes test four months ago, my doctor called me and told me it was a false negative and I’ve been living with herpes for four months. I then had to tell everyone I’ve slept with about it, and worst of all my new boyfriend broke up with me. All in one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 417

16/11/2012 02:40

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 226

You deserved it 3 295

12/05/2016 17:00

Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 081

You deserved it 1 005

Crowded House

By crowded - 20/05/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to his parents' house for the weekend. He didn’t tell me until after we’d arrived that all his siblings and their SO's would also be coming. His parents live in a 2 bedroom, one bath house. So far there are 16 people here and he’s refusing to drive me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 057

You deserved it 294

17/01/2013 20:50

Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 222

You deserved it 3 006

29/03/2011 19:00

Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 436

You deserved it 14 178

26/03/2010 01:50

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 431

You deserved it 25 202

04/12/2014 23:46

Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 729

You deserved it 6 558

11/09/2011 01:54

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 771

You deserved it 3 252

Sworn to secrecy

By TheEpicWario - 01/06/2021 14:02

Today, my mom confirmed my suspicions that my dad cheated on her. She then told me to hide my knowledge about it from my dad, and to keep my brother completely in the dark for now. Now I can't even look at my dad without reaching the brink of crying, and I'm somehow supposed to keep this under wraps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 116

Look out!

By station - 05/05/2009 05:10

Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 916

You deserved it 57 148

13/06/2009 06:40

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 362

You deserved it 4 912

13/07/2018 08:00

Today, I was telling my wife how being told to drink water all day when you're not even thirsty is "such a scam". Suddenly, I felt an excruciating pain in my abdomen. The ER had to give me IV fluids because I was so constipated from dehydration. The bill was over $2000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 6 962

25/02/2016 07:39

Today, I paid $50 to go to a war museum. It was so boring that I fell asleep standing up, lost my balance and faceplanted the floor right in front of our tour guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 174

You deserved it 5 731

23/11/2018 12:00

Today, right after I finished writing a very important paper and saved it to my hard drive, my barely 2-year-old Macbook decided to completely stop functioning. I went to the Apple store and even they can't get it to turn on. That's $1500 down the drain along with my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 442

29/11/2010 10:46

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 203

You deserved it 6 076

Whistleblower

By Anonymous - 25/05/2017 04:00

Today, my boss held a meeting to talk about how we can't overlook others and no one should pick favorites. I walked out unemployed when I pointed out that she completely ignored the person who made the biggest sale in company history and constantly gave her son raises for mediocre work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 738

You deserved it 976

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Top comments

Pandasaur 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Oops. People snickering when they see you naked is never a good sign. FYL.

Paigeth 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:28

No offense, but KPK's (Kodak Picture Kiosks, as they're called), are very simple to use. It even speaks to you and tells you what to do.

Comments

Pandasaur 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Oops. People snickering when they see you naked is never a good sign. FYL.

IamSpartacus 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 5:15

First reply!

Zombierella 2

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Sunday 6 September 2009 5:42

FREE PORN

seanreddog 4

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Sunday 6 September 2009 7:23

YDI FOR SELLING YOURSELF AT WALMART. Your "always low prices, always" for a reason, fat bìtch.

greendaygirl999 5

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Monday 22 March 2010 7:57

YDI for being a slut and taking nudies

NoahStaz 3

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Saturday 26 March 2011 2:41

It was a dude...

twilightluver347 7

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Thursday 31 March 2011 4:26

and that makes it any better?

Sae_Ghelk 6

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Sunday 28 August 2011 11:21

atleast he doesen't like twilight.

KatherineAnne 7

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Friday 9 September 2011 5:03

I'd snicker if I saw a guy was taking nudes. Yukkk I don't want to see pictures of dicks lol

PoeticPixie 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:23

That's why you check these things beforehand. Be a little smarter next time

_anonymoose_ 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

YDI

Paigeth 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:28

No offense, but KPK's (Kodak Picture Kiosks, as they're called), are very simple to use. It even speaks to you and tells you what to do.

YourLifeIsntOver 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:29

I think you deserve to be put on the WHOF! (Walmart Hall of Fame). FYL for sure.

gummibehrs 4

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Sunday 6 September 2009 5:24

Or Hall of Shame, depending on if they were snickering because of the nudes, or because of something about the nudes :o

gummibehrs 4

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Sunday 6 September 2009 5:26

Either way it's funny :D

null_fml 11

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:29

You take enough naked pictures of yourself that you can actually lose track of / forget about them?

OneandOnlyOne 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:29

They were laughing, NOT snickering. You must be Really tiny!!

mattjakon 6

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Wednesday 17 August 2011 15:03

who said it was a guy ?

KailyKii 11

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Wednesday 26 October 2011 10:45

Well if you look at the post you can clearly see it.

Chowi_fml 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:30

Wacky Canadian!

iljajlm 4

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:35

I don't see why pepole randomly take nude pics of themselves. But YDI. Check your damn camera first.

shootingstar8D 0

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Sunday 6 September 2009 1:48

Who cares you won't see them again