By thatCanadianGuy7 - 29/06/2009 19:55 - Canada

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 917
You deserved it 5 035

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That's nice, now call a lawyer and the police.

ouch! your ex seems like the jealous type. oh and i know im gonna get killed, but 1st!


ouch! your ex seems like the jealous type. oh and i know im gonna get killed, but 1st!

sillypuppy 0

Congratulations that you are first, and oops that you are buried. But, to guys who hate people mentioning their better positions in the line of FML commentators (like 1st, 2nd, and so forth): Why not allow FML users have this kind of harmless fun of competitions AS LONG AS they do comment on FMLs? I think it is incredibly cute--juvenile but still cute.

MeganH0LLYW00D 0

Don't you mean-- And so third! Ho ho ho.

Call a lawyer, the cops, and sue his ass off.

Pandaxpress650 0

I know seriously, the people that get pissed at people for mentioning their positions are the ones who have no lives. They are getting pissed off at nothing which shows that they have nothing in their lives to feel emotion for. Why do you even care? It has nothing to do with you.

Pandaxpress650 0

AGREED.. Nobody has to know. We didn't have this conversation... MUAHAHAHAHA!!! (Just my evil laugh.. I know. Its amazing) =]

sue is the only thing you pussy ass americans can do

There is no need to say first, because they have that handy little #1 right there for you already.

fmlchanel 0


Woot! Woot! Go Jandersoniii!!! I'm a male by the way and I'm empowering you by cheering you on. Bwahahahaha >:D

waxstigmata 0

Hey dumbass, you might want to look at the guy's user name (thatCanadianguy7) and his location (Alberta, Canada) Good job and being an intolerant dildo, though, nice representative of your country.

I mean, other than the fact that this guy is Canadian and there's no substance to your xenophobic comment, that's pretty sharp.

tehukiso 0


seb12992 0

"the people that get pissed at people for mentioning their positions are the ones who have no lives" That might be the single dumbest, most nonsensical sentence I've ever read in my life. The ones who get excited that they're first are the ones with no lives.

seb12992 0

Where does it say that he didn't call the cops?

dacman48 0

to #128: pussy americans? where the fuck are you from? lemme guess, some real pussy country like north korea?(sorry to all the other communists out there)go screw urself or america will blow ur ass of.

To 128: I believe they can also turn their whole country against you, invade your country and then bomb the fucking fuck out of it. Just saying, is all.

@181: America wouldn't start a war with North Korea... There's no oil there.

199 is so true.

isdeke 0


That's nice, now call a lawyer and the police.

yep. he knew the consequences before he beat you up. what a dick.

Yes sue, sue, sue.... because you can't take care of yourself.

If you don't teach the guy a lesson, he'll continue to beat up people who did nothing wrong. I'd rather make that guy spend some time in jail than get a couple thousand dollars from him.

Yeah, he isn;t physically capable so he'll use his brain and sue (or should i say a lawyer's brain :p )

Say what? It's called "assault and battery". This is a CRIME. A SERIOUS crime. It is his duty to report it to the police, and the criminal in question should go to jail. It's nothing about "taking care of yourself", it's about obeying the law and punishing people who commit physical crimes against others.

You really don't need the dynamic duo of a martial arts expert and his psychotic sister running around beating hell out of people they're irked by. Too many crazies in the world as it is. Really, press charges.

robinhoood 0

Psh... Pansy.

heyyou1203 0

Because not being able to beat up a martial arts expert means you deserve to get beaten up? So therefore, everyone should become pros at self defense and how to beat the crap out of people. Because if I'm an expert at it, then I have the right to beat up whoever I want whenever I want because it's THEIR fault for not being able to

have an 80's movie training montage then go beat him up

Because he's a martial arts expert his penalty will likely be much higher than if he had no training at all, also he'll probably have to pay restitution to you. He broke the law, he deserves to suffer the consequences.

in this csse depending on the rank and style heavily depends on his punishment as it is technically classed as a human weapon. so yes punishment is very servier

Actually, the op can press charges against him because that's assault and battery, which makes it a reasonable reason to sue.

Sue, you could get some money for this, always good. #5 it's his ex who can't take care of herself isn't it. Just because he didn't hit her brother back doesn't mean he can't take care of it. Either he fights back and both get in trouble, or he sues and gets money, so his bitchy ex gets in trouble. I don't see why he wouldn't choose the money. And don't give me that "But I want to save everyone else" bullshit, they can sue too. Awesome!

easylazy 0

YDI for messing with Asians

xion820 0

Wow what an ass. Call the cops and sue the crap out of him.

If an ex-girlfriend's brother came after me, I'd kick his ass. I wouldn't press charges after the cops showed up, I'd just let him suffer that embarrassment. That would be taking care of it yourself. If its self-defense, and you're not a pussy, you can finish it yourself. Are there any real men around who can still handle there own business?

Wow... chauvinism much?

It's too late for him to fight back now though. If he does, then he would probably be charged by the other dude.

Real men? Are you looking to date or just a one night stand? ^^ Seriously though, from a legal stand, he had to have fought back during the first confrontation. If you go and pick a fight with him now it's no longer considered self defense. If anything, the ex's brother could literally kill the OP in "self defense" should the OP go start something up now. And besides, hughman, you speak like a bully. There's always going to be someone bigger, stronger, and faster than you. I somehow doubt you've ever fought anyone that was bigger than you. Ever. How you talk about leaving people to their "embarassment" and not squeeling to the cops... yeah, you're a bully and i hope you get yours one day. =) Back on topic though, who knows... maybe the OP's a dick. Most people don't just go beat up on their ex's unless it was something serious. For all we know, the OP could've been cheating, took his ex's virginity and ran, or whatever.

#11 do you even know what chauvinism is?

hughman did you not read the part about the guy being an MMA fighter? If you're not trained in such skills chances are you won't stand a chance against that type of person. Case in point. Kimbo Slice, big ass mf'r that could take any normal street brawler. He stepped in the octagon struggled to win his first fight then got pwnd when he went up against actual talent. If you can take an MMA fighter without any prior training on your part then kudos to you, otherwise stop displaying your dick on a 52" TV. Everybody's dick looks big on a 52" TV. Real men also know that you can't beat everybody's ass, nor do they write checks their asses can't cash. You put up ya dukes, give a good show, and if you lose you just lose. You take the asswhooping like a man and keep it moving.

After reading a couple posts under mine I see that you are willing to take an asswhooping like a man :D I'm not a fair fighter (as if their were such a thing in fights anyway), if that bastard came at me I'm picking up the nearest object and swinging for the fences. If there's no object, he better be prepared to lose an eye or a digit. I call it leveling the playing field. He might kick my ass but I'm leaving a mark dammit lol

Hey! Let's stretch circumstances past any reasonable belief just so you can call him a douchebag! Oh wait, no. That doesn't work. That just makes YOU the douchebag, #44. Jackass. Some people DO just look for a fight. Just like some people (yourself) ignore all reason.

Megasadface 0

You'd think after six months, her brother would know they were broken up already. And I don't know about you, but I'd beat the shit out of some guy my sister had 'benefits' with just for that reason, I don't think any brother wants his sister to be friends with benefits with any guy. So no, I think you're the douche. But that's just my opinion.

ellbtvsvm 0

"If," huh? Too bad that's not what actually happened.

pwnage79 0

#72 yea 6 months, thats real fucking soon you dumb fuck! thats sarcasm in case your to retarded to figure that out. and if you dont no wat sarcasm is, go kill urself

Your attempt at thinking that using the word fuck is a good insult makes me laugh. If you're going to call anyone retarded, at least learn how to press all the proper keys on the keyboard so you can make full words, not just 3/4 of a word or the wrong word completely.

t_davis925 0

You're still a dumb fuck, #72

You guys are the one jumping to conclusions. Have you failed to take into consideration that when he broke up with her it ended? Not becoming a friend with benefits.

Really? The man thing would be to sit back and not stand up for yourself? I suppose you feel its ok to let somebody beat the crap out of someone you care about to huh? Even if you are totally capable of defending them. Attacking someone in self-defense is a perfectly reasonable response. Its only unreasonable if you're trying to make a point via peaceful protest or something along those lines. The next time someone starts attacking you for no reason be sure to curl up in the fetal position nice and tight ok. If I go down, I go down swinging.

I agree with #10 and on his behalf; I've fought someone who weighed 30kg more than me and won (Me-65kg)(Him-95kg)... I do MMA; he was an ignorant boxer who forgot a knee to the head can lead to K.O. If any of my ex'es brother's came to fight me which they wouldn't because i'm friends with all of them and have treated all their sisters with respect and haven't abused them in any way, shape or form i'm pretty sure i'd manage to handle myself to not get hurt; learning to defend yourself is pretty simple and you can probably be decent after a few months. Go for it; and don't let yourself get pounded on again. On another note; here in the UK prisons are overcrowded as it is... I couldn't care less about people that go around beating up their sister's ex's as much as the rapists that are allowed to roam free because of "overcrowding" in prisons. Tbh i reckon for this guy to get beaten up by his ex's brother 6 months after the relationship ended i agree with the response saying the OP may have been a real prick and took her virginity and ran or something along those lines. FYL if you weren't a prick.

Ok, for all you sue happy folks. It wouldn't be as great as you think. The OP would be rewarded a restraining order against the older brother, and possibly the sister. Any medical bills will be paid for. The brother might get community service; I very seriously doubt he would get more than a weekend in jail, if any time at all. THAT'S IT. The OP wouldn't get rich; hell, he probably wouldn't get any money. He would get an ass-whooping, an all-expenses paid trip to the ER, and a promise from a nice 50 year old woman that the big mean brother will not come within 200 feet of him again. Oh, and don't forget the loss of self-respect and a lifetime depending on others to fix things when it doesn't go his way.

Hughman, trust me. If you don't have experience, that MMA fighter will beat the living shit out of you. Have you ever seen bully beatdown? It's the show where punks like you get their ass handed to them because they think they're invincible.

Are there any real women who can use te right form of their?

No I just think its ridiculous to sue every time something doesn't go your way.

Go your way..? He was physically assaulted.

What's the problem? I'd say getting physically assaulted is the definition of "things not going your way."

seb12992 0

Since you seem to be a retard, let me carefully explain this to you. If he asked for ketchup at a McDonald's drive through and got mustard instead, that would be an example of something that's not worth suing for. Getting physically assaulted is something that's worth suing for.

I don't see that I personally attacked you with any name-calling. I am, in fact, not retarded. Libel is against the law; should I sue?

I'm going to use an example from something that devastated my school earlier today. Let's say you were in a car wreck and were on the brink of death like a girl from my school has been since earlier today. Now, say your best friend was killed in the same wreck like another girl was today. Now, say that all of this was because of an idiot driver going 120 mph who lost control and hit a gaurdrail along the side of the highway and you ended up in the hospital having brain surgery when the driver ran from the scene. You cannot tell me you wouldn't want to sue for your hospital costs.

I myself am against people suing others over petty things that can be squashed civilly, but the brother committed assault and battery, so yes, the op has every right to press charges against him, and he should.