Transportation: Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so...

By Cheech - 29/06/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, I left on a 2 month trip. I was in a hurry to pack so I wouldn't miss my plane. There were 2 piles of clothes on my bed. One pile was clothes that didn't fit to take to a thrift store, one was to take with me. Guess which one I brought? FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 573

You deserved it 58 170

Transportation

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Best teeth in the game

Dream baby dream

By WhyMe - 09/04/2017 22:00

Today, at work, a customer was staring at me for a long time. Hoping to break the awkwardness, I asked him what brought him to the store today. He complimented me on my friendly demeanor and then followed up with: "Since you're so friendly, how about coming in the bathroom with me and giving me a hand?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 114

You deserved it 349

By anonymous - 08/01/2016 06:49 - United States

Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 915

You deserved it 1 336

By dino0123 - 12/12/2012 17:51 - United States - Herndon

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 367

You deserved it 4 476

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 15:00 - United States - Garner

Today, after I finally recovering from being ill, my husband complained about the house being messy, that I needed to clean up after myself. I filled 2 large tote bags with his stuff laying around the house, and one small stack of medical bills for me. It took me hours to clean. But I'm the messy one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 84

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 03:41 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 089

You deserved it 6 455

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 346

By cassieono - 10/07/2014 21:28 - United States - Springfield

Today, I nearly had an anxiety attack trying to sneak up on my sister to silly-string her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 808

You deserved it 13 646

By Calimero0 - 05/12/2017 01:30

Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 187

You deserved it 537

By crossl17 - 12/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new $10,000 car since my old one broke down. Today, I also found out the old one wasn’t starting because i never had it in park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 4 576

By ChrisD2V - 01/12/2011 03:52 - United States

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 828

You deserved it 33 893

By Shannon - 29/11/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 589

You deserved it 5 283

By Stolemylady - 04/06/2012 07:05 - Australia

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 249

You deserved it 6 767

Too late

By BlueSteele220 - 29/07/2020 17:01

Today, someone stole a package off my doorstep. Too bad, it was the video doorbell to prevent my packages from being stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 100

By disboydanielx - 16/11/2018 03:00

Today, I went to school without knowing that all my math books had been peed on by my cousin's cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 213

By brokenrainbow. - 31/12/2009 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 144

You deserved it 5 133

By Indoraptor - 14/11/2009 12:59 - United States

Today, I went to see the cast list for the new musical I'm in. I didn't get the part I wanted, and instead I got the part of one of the suitors. Interestingly, they made me the suitor to my ex. And the guy she leaves me for at the end of the musical is the guy she left me for in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 364

You deserved it 3 115

By well_f_u_too - 30/08/2018 03:30

Today, I took a night train for the first time. I woke up at 4 am to the beeping of smoke alarms and thick white smoke everywhere. The train had caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 987

You deserved it 161

Here's to a better year

By tasian14 - 01/01/2021 17:01

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years decided on New Year's Eve to get on his knees and tell me that he cheated on me with his ex, and they're getting back together. Yay last day of 2020! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 182

You deserved it 71

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 12:16

Today, my dad's psycho ex broke in and had a meltdown about how he's dating another woman now. She's barely 100 pounds, yet it took me and my brother several minutes and one smashed shin to finally manage to drag her out of the house, all while my dad called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 455

You deserved it 965

By ilovemypup - 31/10/2016 11:20

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 829

You deserved it 761

By DormHater - 23/08/2010 23:09 - United States

Today, I helped move my current boyfriend into his new dorm room. This would've been fine if I didn't have to do this while avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend's new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 187

You deserved it 4 701

By tgpgs - 19/01/2011 14:55

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 3 962

Talk about not getting the picture…

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 19:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I finally worked up the courage to break up with my boyfriend. His parents weren't able to pick him up for 5 hours. I ended up taking him to a movie to kill time and end on a positive note, but now he thinks we're cool and back on track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 397

You deserved it 1 990

By kibblegirl - 06/06/2019 00:01

Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 263

By lextoast - 26/07/2015 18:15 - Rwanda

Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 709

You deserved it 2 666

Drugs are bad, mkay ?

By theshitguy - 15/06/2021 08:01 - Australia - Kedron

Today, I was at a party. A friend and I went to the bathroom together. She finished, I started to go, realising I need to shit. She was still in the room. People began to knock. My brain told me to snap the shit in half… with my hand. I grabbed the toilet paper with said hand, leaving the bathroom covered in shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 005

By ddeit - 19/08/2011 02:10 - New Zealand

Today, I was having a chat with a customer. He asked if I was married, to which I replied, "No." Before I could say anything else, he said, "Thought so. You look too happy to be married." I was about to mention that I just got engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 307

You deserved it 3 658

Bitten

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 00:01 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I had to explain to a lady that the reason I mindlessly touched my crotch was to itch a mosquito bite. She didn't believe me, and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 484

By WretchedOwls - 03/03/2016 23:59 - United States - Barberton

Today, after weeks of my brother being laid off from work, I was able to fenagle him an interview for one of the entry level positions at my work. He got the job, only to refuse it because it doesn't pay enough. I thought 9 dollars an hour was a lot more than 0 dollars an hour. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 22 231

You deserved it 1 655

By Habit - 19/10/2011 22:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 693

You deserved it 9 972

By FAIL - 08/09/2009 05:29 - United States

Today, I went to the emergency room. Apparently, when your ex-girlfriend hits you in the nuts with a bat, it can do some damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 760

You deserved it 7 589

One law for thee…

By Jules - 03/03/2021 14:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 101

By Anonymous - 17/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 525

You deserved it 1 022

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 211

You deserved it 9 682

By Noname - 19/02/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 927

You deserved it 14 090

By Dumbfounded - 08/08/2012 23:03 - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 289

You deserved it 3 949

By Anonymous - 14/04/2012 11:10 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, my parents invited my Muslim boyfriend over for dinner for the first time. My mother made sure that everything including the salad had pork in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 459

You deserved it 7 453

By could be an fml commenter - 13/04/2013 17:26 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got the chance to speak to some of the top academics in my field. I was so hungover that I couldn't remember the title of the Masters degree I've spent two years studying for, let alone make intelligent comments. I'm pretty sure the only thing I got right was my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 675

You deserved it 108 090

By tomedicalforlove - 21/02/2013 05:51

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 094

You deserved it 41 775

By fedupson - 09/04/2015 14:03 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 055

You deserved it 2 637

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

beckacloth 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:12

how can your just throw things in a bag for TWO MONTHS?

Laci_Laine 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:05

Not sure how u could do that. I always make a list and double check that I have everything when I pack. Obviously not everyone makes a list but you'd think you would at least look at what u put in your suitcase...

Luckys_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:02

sucks

MsTs1 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 6:46

You took the one you were going to take for the trip, common sense. if you didn't, go buy a gun, put it in your mouth and pull the trigger

epicfailburger 0

Send a private message

Saturday 20 February 2010 8:07

uhhh the one that fits? you said guess :)

colts609380 7

Send a private message

Wednesday 21 July 2010 10:03

which pile?

Denikk 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 13 July 2011 1:08

none?

littlemisslee 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:04

oops...

chaos753159 4

Send a private message

Thursday 28 January 2010 3:55

^agree but why didnt you take both stacks??

El_patron 0

Send a private message

Wednesday 10 November 2010 6:24

lose weight during the trip :)

Laci_Laine 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:05

mzmartinez92 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:06

ur totally right haha

beckacloth 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:12

how can your just throw things in a bag for TWO MONTHS?

crzy_vballr 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 3:47

u just throw in evrything u hav.....and its a girl so uv gotta go shopping within those 2 month so if u 4get something its not that big of a deal.....its really not that hard

Nan_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 8:31

And it's really not that hard to use actual words when you're commenting... Anyway, way to perpetuate female stereotypes...I'm a female and I only go shopping once in a blue moon...in fact, I absolutely hate shopping...

coldplaylive2003 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:13

So maybe wearing them will force you to lose weight sounds like you could benefit

artpsychopedia 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:17

#7 -- I've got piles of clothes I've donated to charity because I'm 40lbs lighter than I need to be to wear them. If I lost weight they still wouldn't fit. Fail.

diet_otaku 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:24

but at least if they were too big they'd be wearable. it's easy to wear a shirt that's too big and pants can be held up with a belt. if they're too small, though, you're fucked.

t_tru 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 5:41

Diet Otaku, I think you must be a dude. Chicks don't like to wear all our clothes too big.

Prawn_fml 2

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 12:00

Stereotypical much, #70? Whatever is wrong with wearing big clothes? And if there is something 'wrong' in your mind, why would it only apply to one sex? Seriously, use your brain now and then.

paperfox_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:14

Yep, I make lists too. And check them a million times. And then I walk around the house looking at everything to make sure I haven't missed something I need, and root through the suitcase to check everything I thought I put in really is in... Bear in mind this is all done one or two days in advance, and for trips lasting only a week or two. I may be a bit excessive in my packing, but seriously, who packs for a 2 month trip the day their plane leaves?!

MissCharlotte_fml 26

Send a private message

Tuesday 20 August 2013 10:15

I do exactly what you do! I would have also packed my bag weeks before the trip. Really, YDI OP for waiting till the last second.

easylazy 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:16

You took the regular one? Or the thrift one? WHY WOULD YOU POST A QUESTION THAT YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO ANSWER

janefrom1979 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:19

um, isn't it kinda obvious? if she took the clothes she was supposed to take, she wouldn't have posted this in the first place.

Aulo 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:29

#12: Kudos for letting a joke fly over your head.

Lexia_fml 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:41

It is a really lame joke

abcdefghiloveyou 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 3:00

I laughed...

sharpe15 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 3:33

i think it's funny

kittykat1501 31

Send a private message

Monday 25 January 2016 5:11

I was going to make this joke, but like why are you posting here if you took the right pile?

shawnarawwwrr 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:16

you'd think you'd realize this while putting shit on your luggage and YDI for packing for a two month trip right before your flight. i even pack for a few day long trip at least the night before...fail