All the FMLs

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 472

You deserved it 4 486

By Nickolas - 31/12/2010 05:58 - United States

Today, I was getting my chest waxed. The woman dipped the stick into the wax and hit her elbow, making wax fall into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 087

You deserved it 3 734

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, instead of watching a movie like a normal family, we performed random acts of kindness by handing out roses to total strangers in the freezing cold. No one would take them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 583

You deserved it 6 172

By 3yrneveragainn - 31/12/2010 00:45

Today, I figured out why the man I've been seeing for 3 years hasn't asked for my hand in marriage. His current wife called me and told me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 111

You deserved it 4 130

Punk'd

By lululee53 - 31/12/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, after spotting my ex-boyfriend's truck in a desolate parking lot, I decided to "decorate" the muddy side of it with a rather large male appendage. After checking around me to make sure there were no witnesses, I got to work. I probably should have made sure he wasn't sitting in the truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 282

You deserved it 49 881

Dream baby dream

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 22:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 3 468

By infected - 30/12/2010 21:37 - Denmark

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 633

You deserved it 43 670

By glam300 - 30/12/2010 18:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 534

You deserved it 7 729

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 5 381

By depressednupset - 30/12/2010 15:06 - United States

Today, my mother told me to 'quit having a pity party'. I was just diagnosed with depression. I've lost my boyfriend, my job, my academic standing, and I just got rejected from every graduate school I applied for. And my mother thinks I'm a cry baby. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 601

You deserved it 8 261

By thatsucks - 30/12/2010 09:39

Today, I told my best friend that I liked him and have liked him for a long time. His response was "That's cool. So, when did you get a cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 160

You deserved it 4 638

Thanks, lady

By ronniewciv - 30/12/2010 07:48

Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 597

You deserved it 3 775

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 07:14 - Australia

Today, I finally went running to help me start losing weight. I got 50 metres before someone in a passing car shouted out "Run fatty, run". I can't work up the courage to go for a run again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 115

You deserved it 7 412

By loneliness - 30/12/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 146

You deserved it 7 378

It's just liquid fun

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 05:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 054

You deserved it 3 036

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 676

You deserved it 10 165

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:17 - Australia

Today, I finally found the words to describe how I felt after two years of depression. I asked on Yahoo Answers what I should do next. The most 'helpful' answer told me to go on a picnic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 598

You deserved it 27 968

By snowball - 29/12/2010 23:32 - Switzerland

Today, as I left my house, the front door slammed shut behind me, causing an entire roof-length of snow to slide over the edge and land directly on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 165

You deserved it 5 782

By ppd_sucks - 29/12/2010 20:03 - United States

Today, my wife and I received confirmation that she has postpartum depression. When sharing this with the family, my mother exclaimed "I told you she was a psycho!" Now my wife is crying louder and more often than our newborn. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 704

You deserved it 3 616

By nerdsgetmehot - 29/12/2010 18:32 - United States

Today, six months have passed since my parents announced that they're getting a divorce. We're all still awkwardly living together because we haven't been able to sell our house yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 003

You deserved it 2 528

By caempa - 29/12/2010 18:13 - Australia

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 875

You deserved it 13 661

Hey! Hey! Hey!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 16:30 - Sweden

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 905

You deserved it 54 294

By ... - 29/12/2010 15:24

Today, my girlfriend told me that her parents have a bet going on when we are going to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 3 399

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 13:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when I thought the bullying had finally stopped, the bullies had actually been sponsored to be nice for charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 273

You deserved it 2 746

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 747

You deserved it 4 356

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 193

You deserved it 53 804

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 03:20 - United States

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 061

You deserved it 12 516

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 02:52 - United States

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 781

You deserved it 2 616

By ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 764

You deserved it 56 806

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to put vinegar in my contact solution. I took my contacts out hours ago and my eyes still burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 515

You deserved it 2 629

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Transportation Airplanes Awkward Miscellaneous Smartphone Grandparents Photography Annoying Embarrassing Relatable Job interview Work Love Proposal My ex Social Media Weird Introverts Mental health Parents Animals Dogs Family Kids Make up Money Racism beach Pranks

The Top

Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 135

You deserved it 901

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 397

You deserved it 3 696

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 141

You deserved it 3 037

Today, I paid $80 to change my cell number because my ex-girlfriend had been stalking me. To inform all of my friends of the change, I sent a mass text message to everyone in my phonebook. Including my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 769

You deserved it 83 172

Today, the maintenance man for my apartment “fixed” my toilet from constantly running. Now it won’t flush. I learned this after I took a huge dump. My boyfriend was over to spend the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 251

Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 650

You deserved it 381