Health: Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip.... - FML

By fail - 14/04/2011 22:27 - Canada

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 957

You deserved it 38 370

Walk the line

Best teeth in the game

Tinder surprise

By Ace - 01/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, this guy I was seeing dumped me for "bombarding" him with text messages. I'd sent him one text asking if he was okay, after he stood me up 2 nights in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 777

You deserved it 1 785

By reckless - 17/07/2010 19:34 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 502

You deserved it 60 982

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 977

You deserved it 1 393

Don't blame me

By anonymous - 15/11/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 690

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 03:04

Today, I walked to work. I later discovered that my husband had parked my car in a no-parking area. My job is towing cars. I had to tow my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 956

You deserved it 5 639

Cheers!

By imamonster1992 - 24/12/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 4 958

Lunch Special

By Luisa - 09/01/2020 01:00

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 223

By Single - 19/08/2010 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 394

You deserved it 6 863

By Anonymous - 28/03/2014 00:09 - United States - Kent

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 645

You deserved it 5 273

By FereldonBorn - 01/10/2015 10:41 - United States - Roseville

Today, my dog was all over me, and I couldn't help but notice she kept sniffing towards my boobs. Turns out, she wasn't there to get love from me. She was there for a piece of food that I didn't notice had fallen in my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 414

You deserved it 4 057

By Justlooking - 28/07/2017 20:00

Spicy

Today, my new husband of two weeks attempted to solicit sex from a hooker. He tried to excuse himself by saying, "I would never cheat on you! I was just looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 304

You deserved it 567

A job well done.

By belly the jelly - 30/10/2017 21:00

Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 517

You deserved it 670

By The captain - 21/08/2011 23:09 - Canada

Today, I found out what it's like to get brain-freeze while recovering from a head injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 380

You deserved it 4 640

By anonymous - 26/04/2015 13:35 - United States - Knoxville

Spicy

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 6 965

More money, more problems

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend of several years broke up with me because of my lack of ability to contribute financially to the life that she envisioned for herself, due to my significant contributions in child support to my ex. She wants a more equal partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 441

By Anonymous - 24/05/2019 20:07

Today, I spilled grape juice on my new white shirt. I bleached it and scrubbed it until there was nothing left to see. I threw it on, ready to dart out of the door, when my dad walks in after fixing the lawnmower and puts his greasy hand right on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 144

By shortiem - 06/03/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 650

You deserved it 4 802

Mind your own business

By :(( - 30/05/2013 21:18 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, in a public restroom, an elderly lady started bitching me out for not washing my hands. I was so intimidated that I did so under her accusing watch. I'm quite intolerant to many soaps, and I now have a horrible rash on my left hand because I was too frightened to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 745

You deserved it 18 199

By Mal - 29/10/2010 20:02 - United States

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 550

You deserved it 6 704

By Anonymous - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 271

You deserved it 5 959

By damniphone - 29/06/2013 05:31 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on my phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 034

You deserved it 8 690

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 543

You deserved it 2 780

By amf - 03/06/2011 03:08 - United States

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 072

You deserved it 3 336

By illjustlimpthen - 25/10/2012 02:44 - United States - Waukesha

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 442

You deserved it 1 653

By scaredofhedges - 07/01/2013 10:21 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 591

You deserved it 7 542

Bosom buddies

By Lennie Mcfish - 06/07/2020 14:02

Spicy

Today, while caring for my drunk girlfriend, she confessed that she cheated on me 3 different times with my sister. Now I know why they are always spending time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 965

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 14/02/2017 04:53 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend left me. I have no clue what to do with the holiday we have booked or the ring I was going to propose to her with on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 629

By Anonymous - 28/08/2012 16:56 - Canada - Orleans

Today, wanting to be on time for my first job interview, I woke up at the crack of dawn and walked almost an hour through a thunderstorm. When I arrived, I was told that the manager wasn't in today, because of the bad weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 863

You deserved it 1 992

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:42 - United States - Clifton Park

Today, I was forced into accepting a "promotion" for a position that pays less than what I get right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 168

You deserved it 3 077

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 564

You deserved it 6 408

By bloodymatzaball - 02/08/2010 00:34 - United States

Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 457

You deserved it 63 382

By catlover - 20/05/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 491

You deserved it 52 435

By Frustrated - 25/05/2015 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 280

You deserved it 3 945

By CrappyValentine - 14/02/2012 18:56 - Netherlands

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 347

You deserved it 37 818

By sunshinexx - 07/09/2012 09:50 - Australia

Today, I announced to my family that I was going to start playing netball with my work colleagues. They all burst into fits of laughter at the thought of me doing physical activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 797

You deserved it 4 336

By why.mom - 21/08/2019 00:01

Today, my mom got arrested for statutory rape. She apparently had sex with my best friend during a cookout, which was to celebrate my dad's cancer going into remission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 076

You deserved it 135

By roadkill0321 - 07/11/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 426

You deserved it 5 369

By Whitley - 04/11/2010 15:17 - United States

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 411

You deserved it 4 058

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband caught me scratching my armpit with his beard brush. Just last week I swore that I never touch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 434

You deserved it 12 151

By itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug - 14/05/2014 20:58 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 281

You deserved it 4 797

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:57

lol why would the doctor be impressed?

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:54

YDI

Comments

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:54

YDI

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:59

agreed ^

Katie_the_Great 6

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:06

yeah maybe If you would of seen a backflip fail video on YouTube, you probably wouldn't of tried that. lol

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:31

I'm too scared to do a backflip unless it's on a bounce hiuse

LuxAeterna_fml 0

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:31

She is the backflip fail video on YouTube.

sterlingarcher 1

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:33

bahahaha ydi!!

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:39

Exactly, 33, exactly.

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:39

I saw some girl doing backflips at my school today... I live in Ontario too Perhaps that was the OP

CheckMyProfile 17

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Friday 15 April 2011 2:19

was she pretty? :P

NovemberJuliette 0

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Friday 15 April 2011 2:52

ontarioooo:) nnd Lool ydi for bein a showoff or at least trying:p

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Friday 15 April 2011 3:11

fail

Uncle_Moe_Lester 3

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Friday 15 April 2011 4:41

81 I would be impressed

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Friday 15 April 2011 4:54

well I can do a backflip on a flat surface :P it really isn't something to fool around with though (especialy if you never did one before)... Op could have died if he/she fell on his/her neck... but he/she stil totally deserved it :P

Uraharas_Bankai 1

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Friday 15 April 2011 5:20

Sticks and stones may brake my bones, but backflips will always hurt me.

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Friday 15 April 2011 5:30

130 - Break *

staceysgenesis16 0

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Friday 15 April 2011 6:43

agreed !! YDI dumby , haha

TheBananaTheif 0

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Friday 15 April 2011 6:57

well, 116, i can do a backflip, running frontflip and sideflip out of roundoff:) and almost do a flash kick:)

PeteyPablo12308 20

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Friday 15 April 2011 9:22

YDI but that's hilarious. I wish I could've seen it.

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Friday 15 April 2011 16:12

153 - that's not impressive either. I do and teach gymnastics. If you had the terminology right... then I would have been a little more impressed. YDI, OP.

TheBananaTheif 0

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Friday 15 April 2011 16:30

flashkick is a taekwondo term, not a gymnastics term, (at least, i think so, but it might be used) and it's still one hell of a lot more impressive than a backflip.

higgs_boson_fml 2

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Friday 15 April 2011 17:55

well I can do an Arabian double-front, and a full out

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:55

hope you recover quickly. fyl

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:38

definitely, so many bones to break so little time. godspeed good sir!

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:40

or ma'am.. just doesn't sound as good though

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Friday 15 April 2011 2:08

i feel their pain. fractured bone, sprained MCL, PCL, and LCL, torn ACL, and torn meniscus all at once. still no sports for 10 1/2 months. major surgery, blah blah blah all that fun stuff.

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Friday 15 April 2011 2:36

fuck that ge deserves it

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:56

YDI for being an attention seeking whore :)

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Friday 15 April 2011 19:00

if you have to try to impress them I would say their not your friends.....

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:57

lol why would the doctor be impressed?

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Friday 15 April 2011 6:58

impressed at how stupid OP is. that takes a lot.

iLolAtYou9001 0

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:57

YDI for *trying* to show off.

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:05

So true

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Friday 15 April 2011 4:17

Should've done a front flip...

giantsfan2010 23

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:59

The doctor was impressed?

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:59

Epic fail

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:59

well only one thing to say, HA HA

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Friday 15 April 2011 0:59

You could get twice as many as that amount, Boner, if you soaked them in water first.

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:00

You don't have to lie about friends.

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Friday 15 April 2011 1:55

Maybe they do, if they are the type that you have to constantly keep trying to impress. (That's the kind of friend I am, obviously.)

Nearly

Today I ripped my lovely £50 coat on barbed wire, what I only worn a hand full of times, ended up having to spend £10 to get it repaired, have to wait till Friday to pick it up, it’s only Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 17

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 1 107

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 1 259