yay #1!!! weeeeeeeee!!!!!

OP you are not fooling us either, i bet your girlfriend kicked your ass.

really? kicking a muggers ass? ..cant you say you fell down the stairs or something like any normal person.

If he fell down the stairs he'd have a lot more than a bruised face. He should have used something like; 'So I was walking down the street the other day when I saw a puppy about to get run over by a car. I dove heroically onto the street saving the puppy's life! Then I tripped and hit my face on the sidewalk' It doesn't have to be believable as long as he doesn't let people know it was really because he's an idiot.

I'm going with 13. she probably beat the shit outta him and this is his try at sympathy while he cries in a corner. ydi for being a pussy

yeah, it causes cancer:0

you don't have to yell, I don't have ear cancer!! ( Archer ) :)..

Haha 17, you made my night.

woo hoo! so you like archer?? .. lol

hes not a retard, he was just unlucky

he's retarded for making up a lame story.. lol

so you're going to just accept what happened and be like "i hit myself in the face with the door?" i dont think so

umm no .. I would think of a better story duh.. lol

like...?

umm I dunno.. I'll have to think of something lol..

He should have come up with something along the lines of; 'I was railing this chick in the bar washroom when, *BANG*. Smacked my head on the stall door'. Much more believable and he can save face in front of his friends. He still totally deserves it though.

haha.. lol.. and yes they do deserve it! :D

Archer, considering your appearance, we couldn't tell if you had a black eye. Is that what the glasses are for?

no.. I just love my sunglasses lol..

50, I hope you were joking, but sunglasses aren't just worn for 'people with a black eye'.

I know right?? sunglasses are awesome and I was in the car that's why they are on.. lol

Did a tampon just say "temper temper"?

i was about to say "tampon tampon" but it wouldnt let me

that's hot

why thank you;)

probably the fact that you wear a diaper, i mean i shit myself all the time but atleast im enough of a man to do it in my own longjohns.

25- but when you smell like human feaces and I smell like lemony fresh adult diapers, well c who ppl like more. lawl

you wear adult diapers sucks for you.

34- ever heard of a joke?

sorry 34 hasn't XD

Or that your comment didn't pertain to the fml?

Actually, the person in the FML talked about how he didn't know what was more pathetic. so technically, my comment did have something to do with the post.

Yes. it has parallelism and similar sentence structure.

56 I can't tell if that's sarcasm, but if it's not, then thank you.

I know right? op should enhance the fact he got beat up by a door and make it funny ..not be ashamed...that's what I would do.."you would not believe what I just did to myself ha ha...."