By Anonymous - 14/04/2011 05:49 - United States

Today, I held a door open for my boyfriend and jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" He responded with, "Who's chivalry?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 247
You deserved it 7 861

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I just can't help but feed this through my Idiot-English Translation Engine: "Haha! That's actually pretty funny! If he doesn't know what chivalry is then it really MUST be dead! Haha! **** your life for having a dumb boyfriend! I failed third grade, but thank god the Internet doesn't discriminate based on age, race, and IQ!" Much better.

Bathory_fml 0

If we hold the door open for you, we're being misogynist because we apparently think you can't open the door yourself. If we let you open the door yourself, we're not being chivalrous enough for you. :| I'm so happy I'm gay.


lol thats actually pretty funny! if he doesnt no wut chilvery is then it rly MUST b dead lol fyl for having a dumb bf

I just can't help but feed this through my Idiot-English Translation Engine: "Haha! That's actually pretty funny! If he doesn't know what chivalry is then it really MUST be dead! Haha! **** your life for having a dumb boyfriend! I failed third grade, but thank god the Internet doesn't discriminate based on age, race, and IQ!" Much better.

I don't see the latter half of her post anywhere...did Sirin delete it so that people won't judge her crappy spelling and grammar?

seryosli hoo kares 2 give pooop abwt gettin spelin or gramer rite?! get a life, will ya?!

I don't see what knights have to do with holding doors open... -.- >Not Serious<

chiv·al·ry noun /ˈSHivəlrē/ chivalries, plural 1. The medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code 2. Knights, noblemen, and horsemen collectively * - I fought against the cream of French chivalry 3. The combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, esp. courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak Yeah we don't have knights anymore :( 4.Courteous behavior, esp. that of a man toward women * - their relations with women were models of chivalry and restraint I really wonder what the word is for courteous behaviour towards men? Anyone wanna bet there isnt? :P

Hail DocBastard for his Winning powers of awesomeness!

dude! wtf? excuse me for not having something amazingly witty to say!

im doing this on my phone smartasses. excuse me if i like to type in text more than i like to type properly

Don't worry 2 just sit and enjoy the knowledge that this docbastard guy has nothing better to do than sit around on FML all day an insult people. Everyone loves him, but frankly I see him as a sad, sick individual. Cyberbullying is just retarded.

seriously who cares how he spells? he's posting a comment on fml not writing an essay

thrz nutin rong whit mispelllng numbr too. peplez ovaryax alll de tym aboat mzpelin bulshite

and 162 how dare you speak such blasphemy. if I could I'd slap you in the face with a glove

All of you just shut up. Cyberbullying is a nice way to pass the time, as there are millions of idiots everywhere on here. As for you all; i's luv yaall so dern much I jus kent herd it on in uh durrr herrr herrr.

48connor, care to elaborate on the mistakes I made? Unlike most, I'm neither afraid to admit a mistake nor too big to learn from it. Sassybq, you're obviously free to say whatever you want, but if you use txt-speech and jargon like you did, you're going to get called out every time. Those awful Grammar Nazis sure are mean, eh?

LOL 171!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are my hero!!!!!!!!!!

Damn edit feature didn't let me finish. PsychoXtheXrapis - if that's how I care to spend my time, who the **** do you think you are to tell me what I can and can't do? If I'm sad and sick because of what I do, what do you call someone like yourself who has nothing better to do than make fun of people like me? I think that makes you even sadder and sicker. TL;DR go **** yourself in the ass with a swordfish.

178- with a swordfish, huh? that's some pretty dark stuff right there. and you're a genius, only because I was tempted to make the same corrections.

i cant agree with 166 any more. if you really wanna correct peoples grammar that much then go become a ******* english teacher. grammar nazi's piss me off so much and docbastard you piss me off even more. get your head out your ass and leave 2 alone he just posted a comment ffs.. no need to insult him. and besides, does it really matter to you whether someone you dont even know cant spell? no. so shut up about it.

eradonnes 0

throw the door into his face and make him buy u a mcflurry or somthing.

DocBastard, I think you're just drunk on the fame you have on this site because idiots think it's funny when someone makes fun of someone else. I stood up for someone, what's your justification for making fun of someone on the internet? He was too lazy to type correctly? Oh well, if you're that concerned about people's grammar become a politician and change our school system. I've seen you comment before and it's always at someone elses expense. So get off your high horse and realize that there are people who have more than half a brain and don't think you're funny. Now that I have an account on this site, I will make sure you know that. Maybe I too will become "famous" for sicking up for the people you make fun of. Btw, I've seen you say that swordfish joke before, c'mon, get some new material.

186 all you're saying is hypocritical dribble poop.

so go ahead give us all another speech. don't worry, we'll wait

#186- You are no better, if you find Docbastard so nauseauting, perhaps you should make a high attempt to give no acknowledgment to him. One who holds "fame" will not stop simply for a few minor souls, rather than feeding the flame, let it be. Also, your become a politician and change the school systems is rather irrelevant to other's grammars. We the puppets are not controlled by politicians actions alone.

I wasn't being hypocritical at all. He was being a bully, I was defending someone. And I'm fighting fire with fire, so I'm not just going to let it be. I ignored it when he was just being funny, or attempting to. I stepped in when I realized that 2 was affected by it and he did nothing wrong. And really, the politician was an example. He could do numerous things to change education, like become a teacher, councilor, etc. whatever.

edteach 0

then it's a zombie and must be put down... preferably by headshot

PsychoXtheXrapis - drunk with fame? Fame? Ha. Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's cute. Ahem, right. Now that I've gotten that idiocy out of the way, if you've been around here that long, you know that I don't give two ***** about you and your opinion, nor anyone else's here. I comment what I think without any regard for you or anyone else. I expect everyone else, you included, to do the same. If you'd like to make it your mission to call me out whenever I act like a dick, then you'll have your work cut out for you. And by the way, I've never used the swordfish before. Google it if you don't believe me, not that I care one tiny little bit.

Oh, and if you have anything else personal to say to me, please do it over PM. This doesn't belong in the public forum.

FML858 0

LOLLL 29 and phones have autocorrect...

Ahahahaha I seriously laughed out loud when 154 thought they were being made fun of for not saying something "amazingly witty". Maybe he did fail 3rd grade! And to those bitching on doc, stfu. He's hilarious and isn't nearly as mean as 98% of other people on this site.

GuessWhatKids 13

Doc @ 29, I do believe you forgot to capitalize the G in God. God is a proper noun, gods, however, isn't.

Somedood117 0

Everyone, calm the **** down. DocBastard posted a funny comment on Sassy's grammar mistakes. It was funny as hell, and i'm sure it was nothing personal, and to show how grammar mistakes get annoying. Let's leave it at that, and go on, and continue reading the FML website. Case Closed.

GuessWhatKids 13

And who the **** are you to say case closed? Get your head out of Doc's blistering anal tubes, moron. This is the most interesting debate I've seen here in a while, and I'm not going to listen to some diehard Doc fangirl act like their opinion on whether or not a case is closed is worth shit.

PsychoXtheXrapis - You realize that you've given Docbastard absolutely no reason to stop right? If anything, you're encouraging him.

you guys are so entertaining to me... I get bored all the time. but I come here and I can read through all the dramatic fights in the comments for a whole hour. I love fml fights (:

chammi 0

Grammar mistakes do get annoying. But SPELLING is the worst. Most people can overlook if a apostrophe or comma have been misplaced, but when you get into "lyk" instead of like then it's a nuisance. It takes no extra time to write it correctly. End rant. :)

"much better" isnt a sentence. besides, you need to chill bro.

pookie661 0

Docbastard never said that he couldn't talk like that Docbaztard just doesn't particularly like how he was saying everything. Docbastard him self said that he doesn't give a f*ck what he does so all y'all can just the f*ck up about it, it's just how he feels, umm I think it's called freedom of speech has anybody heard of it?? I sure have(:

what the deuce is wrong with all of you??? "Why cant we be friends? Why cant we be friends? Why cant we be friends?" seriously, some of these peopl need to lay down and relax.

MrGold 0

No one gives a shit about spelling on a website. Grammar Nazis can **** off and find something better to do then rip on people here. Seriously, all of you need to shut the **** up an enjoy the site. Stop making fun of others and keep your stupid comments to yourself. All of you who feel the need to single out one person obviously don't friends, love, or anyone to care for. It's an FML website not a chat room.

GuessWhatKids - god is a proper name if you believe in god. ;) MrGold: 1) I absolutely LOVE when crackheads like you say no one cares about grammar and spelling, because it should be plainly obvious even to the feeblest of intellects that there ARE people who care about it, and you make yourself look foolish by arguing otherwise. 2) I also thoroughly enjoyed you telling me to keep my comments to myself while hypocritically making one yourself. 3) *than 4) I love my wife, who is right next to me, and my two children. Making stupid assumptions makes you look that much more foolish. 5) If you had bothered to read through the rest of the posts above you before spouting off, you'd see that people ARE enjoying the site, despite, not because of, your inanity. Are there any other glaring points of stupidity in your comment that I failed to mention? Or did you have anything else to add?

zourwolfe 0

As a fellow grammar nazi, I think Doc is right. For everyone busting his balls and saying "it's just a site," well guess who's making this into a big deal? You.

freedom of speech? WTF. so basically youre all saying that its perfectly alright to say whatever we want to people whether it hurts their feelings or not..? thats ****** up. and you docbastard have your head up your bloody ass and are really immature. whether your an adult with a family doesnt matter, ive seen 5 year olds tell jokes better than that retarded swordfish thing. and seriously, yes people care about grammar, but not on the internet on humour sites like docbastard even if their grammar annoys you, no need to single them out and bully them from behind a computer screen like a desperate coward trying to seem cool and funny on the internet to a bunch of kids by hurting someones feelings who you dont even know. other peoples grammar doesntmatter to you so leave them alone. its just low

Mellyy, I'm so sorry I've offended you. Please accept my humblest apologies. I'll never ever bully anyone on FML ever again! I promise! Oh, and you're just as much an idiot as MrGold if you believe for one second that I'm going to change what I say just because you told me oh-so-eloquently to do so. I never said anything about freedom of speech - that's an American thing. I find it pathetic that the original target seemed to take this better than you. What does that say about you? You think you have the right to tell me how I can comment? **** off. I've made it clear that I don't give a rat's ******** about what you think of me or my comments. Cheers.

mrmerino 0

sexist women? impossible! only men are sexist!

Epic_Phale615 0

I respect doc, all of the assholes trolling his ass, **** off. He's an ass to 2, and you're ass to people like doc. Without dumb ***** like 2, funny guys like doc, and assholes like yourselves, would there be any fun on FML? No, so everyone just let it be, you fit in the cycle as soon as you post a comment so don't think you're an innocent bystander. Everyone's a dick to someone. So don't hate on doc actin' like you're some kind ofsaint who's never been a bitch, not one time in your life. Troll on this comment and the cycle goes on.

251, Doc is a troll. He obviously gets enjoyment out of these arguments, and making people angry. That's the definition of troll. As i cannot be bothered to read all these comments, I don't feel like putting in much say of my own, however, you each have some what valid points. There is a difference between pointing out mistakes, and going on to mock and humiliate the person. That is what makes you a bully Doc.

Somedood117 0

you know, after reading all these comments I think I changed, I now care for others and promise not to troll anyone. JUST KIDDING!!

Somedood117 0

oh ya, and if 2 hadn't have responded to doc's comment, this argument would've never happened!

Somedood117 0

and there is a difference between cyber bullying and trolling.

Good lord, text language and awful misspelling is forbidden anyway. Maybe if people learned to spell, all this whining wouldn't happen and we could all be happy. A little mockery is a good thing if it educates and amuses, so DocBastard is doing his community service already. Thanks, Doc!

FatElie 0

I know I'm late but 203's opinion doesn't matter due to the soon to be past Justin Bieber clause. All the internets are holding a meeting so I'll let you know when I know.

So doc, just wondering, but if you are in fact a doctor then how do you spend so much time on FML? I would imagine you would be much too busy.


WOW yall just WOW. yall have bn debating about this shit for HOW LONG?! lol yall crazy. and to the ppl out there thinking im a guy, ur wrong. im a chick. and just incase one of yall makes fun of me sayin "yall" all the time, its cus im from texas. so wut im getting at here is that this Doc person is a douchebag that likes to make fun of 15 year olds? tsk tsk. grow a pair. and thank you to the ppl who agree that grammer doesnt rly matter in the comment area. now to all the grammer nuts out there i will admit that yall have a point, i should b better with my grammer. and even though i dont care about grammer on the internet, i respect that some of you do and i promise i will try to respect most of your wishes. im not even gonna ask u to stop the debate because to b honest its very interesting that everyone feels that way lol so DEBATE ON! love yall (even the haters)

KingCeltic77 18

In the middle ages, not cutting an enemy's nuts off would be pretty much all the chivalry shown to men.


thats not a FML he was probably just kinding with u .. Dumbass

carnage1106 0

it's not nice to call people idiots…idiot

FMLsOhilarious 6

You're all idiots for calling other people idiots.

chivalry may be dead...but what happens when it comes back to life?

teeheegirl17 5

140, I haven't heard that since second grade. Very original, my friend

Somedood117 0

"Chivalry is dead" I thought it was lyrics from the song "promiscuous - nelly furtado" P.S. I don't know what chivalry is, so im an idiot.

duravian 1

I thought chivalry was sexist or something now because of PC or whatever... stupid ******* PC

Bathory_fml 0

If we hold the door open for you, we're being misogynist because we apparently think you can't open the door yourself. If we let you open the door yourself, we're not being chivalrous enough for you. :| I'm so happy I'm gay.

To the OP just thank feminists. If you want to be equal, learn to open your own ******* door. But if you were pretty then maybe he would've opened the door. Being a ugly woman's like being a man, your going to have to do some work.

Autoshot 9

That's fine. It doesn't seem like the ladies will be missing much, not having you bless them with your charm.

TrueStory22 0

You don't seriously believe that right? It's just opening a door.

48, Idk the second to last sentence kind of detracted from the meaning of your statement in my opinion. But everything else was right.

Leave it to a guy to miss the point entirely. Op's boyfriend was too stupid to know what the word "chilvalry" meant. Its not a debate about holding a door open or not holding a door open. manners are manners.

Women don't want men to open doors for them simply because they have a ******* ******. Open doors for women and men alike, because it is a polite thing to do. I don't want to be treated any differently from you just because I was born with different body parts. We're equal. Treat everyone that way, regardless of sex, gender, race, religion, age and so on. If women have been rude to you in the past, it's unfortunate, but it's even worse to generalize a whole sex, which is what you're doing. Maybe they weren't wrong in calling you a misogynist- you're exhibiting some alarming symptoms.

Women don't want men to hold a door open for them just because they have a ******* ******. We want to be treated like a person, not like a ******* walking ******. Open doors for us because it's polite, and open doors for men because it's polite. Open doors for everyone regardless of their gender, sex, race, religion, weight, appearance, age and so on. Because everyone deserves to be treated with fairness. I didn't earn your "chivalry" by being born with a ******. Open my ******* door because you're respectful of me as a person, not as a gender, and that goes for everyone. And you've totally made it clear that you aren't a misogynist by generalizing all women and saying you're thankful for being gay. If you think they were wrong in calling you a misogynist perhaps you should take a look at yourself- you're exhibiting some alarming symptoms.

reganera 0

chivalry is never dead in the gay community, guys are always pushing your stool in.

SirEBC 7

Wow, 86. I'm going to use that.

Sorry for the double post. God dammit I better not double post this apology either, because I posted it already and it hasn't shown up. If that happens I am going to kill myself.

FMLsOhilarious 6

#75 I totally agree with you.

@#4 i completely agree, i'm happy to be gay for that reason. My thoughts are: women who want equality (right to vote etc) give up the EXPECTATION for men to hold the door (because expecting that the man hold the door BECAUSE she's a woman doesn't make her equal). While women who want chivalry and will always expect the door to be opened for them because they are women really should be giving up equality since that is not equal. Now before anyone rants at me saying its polite to open doors for people please read carefully. I am not talking about being polite (i am usually polite and hold the doors open so people don't get hit with them behind me.) I am talking about standing there and holding doors open for women solely because they are women (I.e. in a different way, holding it open until they are completely through while for men you just hold it open til they get their hand on it.) THAT is what is being chivalrous is, not only being polite.

wtg2989 0

Yeah, leave it to a girl to assume anyone debating the meaning gives a shit. Besides, the girl did refer to opening a door for her as chivalrye hence the debate. There is no debate about the bf really. he's either stupid or joking. Can't tell which though.

G6chick 0

idk what ur talking about when a guy holds the door for me it's sweet. then again I live in the south

I also consider myself a feminist, and I don't expect a guy to hold a door open for me but when he does, it's really sweet and respectful and just a nice gesture!

actually if a guy holds the door that is called being helpful and thoughtful.

Got_any_grapes1 4

Lol I honestly do not know what that means. Someone?

i dont aprove of that cuz its mean and horrible to say but that was very clever :3

Sounds like a fair question to me. I hope it wasn't a painful death.

Autoshot 9

Nah, you can't be serious. I refuse to believe people are this dumb.

6, if you're really being serious, I now shake my head in shame. This is what society has become? I'm deeply saddened.

I had a friend named Chivalry once. He strangely died when my girlfriend was being a bitch to me.

trevor12345678 0

he was probably joking? on the other hand he may be a dumbass

Well... its time You taught your bf what Chivalry is ...

sourgirl101 28

I know. That pisses me off. I always reply "you're welcome" anyways in a snooty way. I have also had guys take over the door and they let me go infront of them. Not that I can't do it for myself, but it's nice to be treated like a lady sometimes.(:

sourgirl101 28

Well... its time You taught your bf what Chivalry is ...

You'll notice, if you hold doors open for people, most men will thank you, most women won't.

I don't know what chivalry is :( but I have an excuse! I was honeschooled!

DeadxManxWalking 27

it's when guys hold the door open for women. like "Ladies first"

I normally open the door for most ppl if I notice them behind me. if it's my friends they always say thanks cause they are use to it. strangers yes I agree that women normally don't say thanks, but I recently found out it's because most of them are in shock that guys do that.

27: Screw you, okay? Being homeschooled means you SHOULD know what chivalry is. If you're joking, double the screws. I was homeschooled and have a 3.8 gpa with 145 credit hours on a BS in Software Engineering; no, I'm not some antisocial nerd either. As for the comment... I've noticed quite the opposite. Maybe the women where you live think they're entitled to that courtesy. Noses in the air, ladies!

mfmy, you are making everyone from Houston look like morons. please do us all a favor and SHUT UP and think before you speak/type/text.... idiot.

wtg2989 0

Chivalry has been redefined. It never had anything to do with something stupid like holding open a door for some girl. With regards to women, it only meant that when a knight was away at war or something, his best friend or some other appointed man stays home and has sex with his wife and takes care of her. Neither the OP nor her boyfriend know what it is, thusly neither of them should even bring it up. Women tried to change it into something that was all about servitude towards them.

batgirl_babygirl 0

then I'm part of the group of women who actually do