By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 02:32 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford
All the FMLs
Dude, WTF?
By Okay_Then - 01/01/2014 23:49 - United States - Grand Rapids
By Crashed - 01/01/2014 18:21 - United States - Evans
By SabriLittleRed - 01/01/2014 18:18 - United States - San Francisco
SabriLittleRed tells us more.
By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 17:47 - United States - New Milford
By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 07:49 - Australia - Southport
By Anonymous - 01/01/2014 05:38 - United States - Albany
By claubea11 - 01/01/2014 05:17 - Puerto Rico - Ponce
By dantko - 01/01/2014 05:04 - United States - Dearborn
By thisisavirus.exe - 31/12/2013 20:57 - United States - Sherwood
Bonding moment
By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 20:11 - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer
By awkword - 31/12/2013 17:47 - United States - Mckeesport
By gnafron - 31/12/2013 11:30 - France - Grenoble
By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 08:08 - United States - Seattle
By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 07:52 - United States - Bend
By AnnoyedSister - 30/12/2013 22:28 - United States - Arlington
AnnoyedSister tells us more.
Hi everybody! OC here. I guess I didn't put enough details in my FML as I could: So I'll tell you all the WHOLE story. Blake is 17 years old. Yes he is a convict currently on parol. I cannot remember exactly WHAT he did, but I believe it was either Breaking and Entering or he stole a car. I'm not positively sure. Also: I could not get off the eyelash glue with warm water or make up remover because her eyelashes were going inward towards her eye and frankly, my daughter wouldn't stay still long enough for me to even try. To all the commenters who said "Keep an eye on your daughter." Nice pun. But she is twelve years old so I'm pretty sure even if I tried to pay attention she'd say something along the lines of "Go away mom!" Or "What do you want?!" So yeah. Blake also does NOT flirt with my daughter (thank goodness) and they've only met once, when they moved in. The funny thing is, he can't even get her name right. Her name is Violet, but he insists on calling her Veronica. So, no marriage plans yet! Yay!
By smokecloud_ - 30/12/2013 21:38 - United States - Ashland
By bad luck skier - 30/12/2013 20:28 - United States - Albany
By Anonymous - 30/12/2013 17:20 - United States
By Caimimi - 30/12/2013 15:46 - United States - Ingleside
Caimimi tells us more.
Hey OP here. I hadn't been up all that long and our dog started barking at something so I went to check it out. I open the door and there she is cutting all of my calla lily stems! I was incredibly baffled that she would just walk up onto the porch and do that. What I said to her was "Uhm.. Those are my flowers.." (such mean and rude fighting words!) She then took off like a bat out of hell while knocking off the plant pot onto the concrete below. (I think knocking it over was purely accidental but it still doesn't excuse what she was doing.) I got dressed and went next door to ask what the heck that was all about and she "informed" me that I must have mistaken her for someone else. After a few minutes of arguing I gave up and came back to clean up the mess. I figured I would just not worry about it, certainly nothing worth involving the law. On the plus side, about noon there was a knock on my door and a slightly larger, new plant pot was sitting on my porch with no one around. (I wonder who left it.. Hmmmm...) The actual act of picking the flowers doesn't bug me too terribly seeing as my niece picks the flowers almost every time one blooms. It is the lack of honesty that caused the issue for me.
By laurenasabutton - 30/12/2013 13:07 - United Kingdom - Nottingham
STOP SCREAMING
By Anonymous - 30/12/2013 12:10 - Australia - Campbelltown
Broke
By candidcripple - 30/12/2013 05:57 - United States
By LeaveHimAlone - 30/12/2013 04:23 - United States - Elkridge
By Anonymous - 30/12/2013 03:52 - United States
By RustyRuski - 29/12/2013 22:58 - United States - Greenwood
Bitchy
By Anonymous - 29/12/2013 21:04 - United States - Bolingbrook
By heart broken - 29/12/2013 09:05 - United States
Poor excuse
By worstwaytodumpagirl - 28/12/2013 22:34 - United Kingdom - Harrow
Keywords
Heyy guys, I'm the OP, & no, I didn't do anything to her first. The bear was a gift from her bf. I thought she was joking at first, & was kinda surprised & hurt she actually made me sit in the back. I enjoyed all your puns; they were ”beary” funny, lol. Happy New Years Everyone!! :D