All the FMLs

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 16:26 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 410

You deserved it 3 545

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 14:29 - United States - Worcester

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire PowerPoint based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 4 229

By Quasimodo - 18/10/2013 12:40 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 396

You deserved it 3 088

One-upmanship championship

By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 789

You deserved it 3 001

By SassyBasher - 18/10/2013 00:14 - United States - Taylors

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 214

You deserved it 4 982

SassyBasher tells us more.

SassyBasher 13

Friday 18 October 2013 20:53

The poster was not offensive in any way, there were no triggering pictures, and the principal okayed it but apparently changed his mind at the last minute WITHOUT telling me. The reason I was trying to raise awareness is because I recently lost a close friend to suicide after she cut to deeply.

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 22:57 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 839

You deserved it 4 927

Don't mess with Texas

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 21:36 - United States - College Station

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "Hon'", "Darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 070

You deserved it 5 952

By LegInPieces - 17/10/2013 16:34 - United States - Redmond

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 965

You deserved it 3 853

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 16:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 762

You deserved it 17 391

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 13:43 - United States - Romulus

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 859

You deserved it 4 741

By Michelle - 17/10/2013 11:51 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 773

You deserved it 5 625

By maxkeyftw - 17/10/2013 05:06 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 684

You deserved it 4 307

A cashier's life

By amy - 16/10/2013 21:52 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 846

You deserved it 3 987

By Awahso - 16/10/2013 21:42 - United States - Buford

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 241

You deserved it 3 618

By . - 16/10/2013 21:05 - United States

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 387

You deserved it 4 065

By SaveMeTeddy - 16/10/2013 18:48 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 121

You deserved it 16 261

What the **** does this mean, dude?

By Anonymous - 16/10/2013 17:37 - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 403

You deserved it 10 424

By TiredMum - 16/10/2013 13:33 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 139

You deserved it 7 109

By Elcam - 16/10/2013 08:22 - Belgium

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 847

You deserved it 5 640

Leave me alone

By LFE - 16/10/2013 04:40 - United States - Liberty Hill

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 629

You deserved it 45 455

By erockinthesuburb - 16/10/2013 00:38 - United States - Noblesville

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 240

You deserved it 3 300

Joker brain

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 21:48 - United States - Round Lake

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about superheroes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 717

You deserved it 4 144

By secretsmakefriends - 15/10/2013 21:43 - United States - Vashon

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 868

You deserved it 5 189

Creepy

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 20:52 - United Kingdom - Stretham

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 646

You deserved it 4 851

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 20:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 936

You deserved it 3 339

By calobrisi - 15/10/2013 19:34 - United States - East Northport

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 837

You deserved it 52 361

calobrisi tells us more.

calobrisi 8

Wednesday 16 October 2013 5:19

OP Here! So I think everyone has kind of made this worse then it really was so let me explain. I am a girl, and I was in my own house. I was in a rush and didn't realize there was toilet paper right behind me on the toilet until afterwards. I couldn't get up or use something else because there was nothing else, and my father was home with me but we are not on speaking terms.The paper I used would certainly not give me any STD's because I had used it beforehand. Of course I realize what a dumbass I am, and honestly most of the comments made me laugh. But yeah it wasn't like I was "taking a shit" or anything. I probably should have "looked before I leaked." Thanks guys lol

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 17:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 398

You deserved it 5 801

By collegegrad - 15/10/2013 15:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 752

You deserved it 5 609

By Eggs6131 - 15/10/2013 13:09 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 367

You deserved it 3 329

Eggs6131 tells us more.

Eggs6131 14

Wednesday 20 November 2013 13:39

For all the people who don't get it, my brother recorded about a minute's worth of silence on his little MP3 player, so he could listen to said recording at full volume. He thought if he listened to this recording of nothingness on a loop at full volume, it would make his earphones act like earplugs, cancelling out any noise made. #8, still laughing at that "I'm sorry? I can't hear you for all this silence blasting in my ears". #22, he's fifteen :

By notready - 15/10/2013 06:49 - Australia

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at a dinner with our two families. Not only did she flatly reject me, my dad said, "Good call. He's not ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 988

You deserved it 6 809