Kids: Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up...

By younggirl101 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

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Awkward beyond belief tells us more :

Hey guys, just a quick follow up. Turns out she had help from my dad who grew up with four brothers that had huge pranking wars. I'm going to stop it at this. No more pranking. And I agree. She should've got this on tape then I could give you guys the link and prove I did the ice bucket challenge. (Sort of) thanks!

Kids

There's no helping some people

Triage

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

By timiscuous - New Zealand

Thousand-yard stare

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML

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1716

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255

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By Applelover012 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

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By denting-and-venting - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

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By AnonymousQuagga - United States - Flower Mound

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

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By ordinaryday - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

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36332

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By Georgia

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

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40483

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By Poopamus

Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML

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2512

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By Bookworm - United Kingdom - Singapore

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I finally found out why I got a D in a class last semester. It was a heavily attendance-based class, and apparently he only marked you present if you participated in class discussion. It was a 100-seat lecture. FML

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2771

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By jmitch1209 - United States

Today, I was potty training my nephew. He had been on the toilet for almost twenty minutes and could not go. My phone started ringing, and as I went to pick it up he knocked it into the toilet. He then peed and pooped on it. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

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By mel - United States

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML

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By I’m a boy - 9/3/2021 05:01

The step after egg mode

Today, I was told that because I have an anime profile picture, I’m obviously extremely ugly in real life. I’m not ugly, I’m trans. FML

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606

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749

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By driver - New Zealand

Today, I went to start my truck that I had parked in my driveway after a longhaul. The fuel gauge indicated I had a full tank. I didn't fill up. My neighbours' son decided to fill the tank with water with a hose. 150 litres worth on top of diesel. His dad's response: "Kids eh, what ya gonna do?" FML

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40493

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By Anna - Estonia

Today, I woke up with a high fever and hallucinations. I called for my mother, who after checking me, swore that I was just hungover from a night of partying, called me a "f*cking hedonist", and refused to help. FML

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31951

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By ilovechickens - United States

Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML

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29670

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By hjkashld - United States

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

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13480

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By Anonymous - United States - New Milford

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

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42004

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By S. - Estonia

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/2/2021 07:30

Rest in Piss

Today, more of my friends celebrated Rush Limbaugh's death than celebrated when I won a national award two years ago. FML

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614

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By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 20:01

Welcome

Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML

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119

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By notexactly - United States

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

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By Cult - United States - Glenside

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

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By bride - United States

Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML

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By yerface - United States

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

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40653

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By Unloveable - United States - Priest River

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me over video chat. Two days before I was to move across the country to be with him. All of my things are already shipped. He said he thinks of me as a sister. FML

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16323

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By cperagui

Today, we did icebreakers at a summer program. I'm really awkward but I got paired with a really nice guy. I noticed his right hand was very soft, so I joked, "Do you only moisturize one hand?" Then I understood. Then he understood that I understood. We're partners all week. FML

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4414

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By ICanExplain - United States - Sunnyvale

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

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32971

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By chefdujour - United States

Today, I spent 5 hours preparing dinner for my fianc''s grandparents, whom I've never met. At dinner, his grandmother says to him, "If you're going to pick someone to spend the rest of your life with, at least make sure she can cook." I'm the executive chef at a 4 star restaurant. FML

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By Almostfunny - United States

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

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61775

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By -_- - United States - Lahaina

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

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48964

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By Leroy - Australia

Insanity

Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML

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2064

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By ihncredible - United States - Macomb

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

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30090

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By notapetkiller - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, while in the car with my mom, we accidentally ran over a dog that had sprinted into the road. Instead of stopping, my mom continued to drive as if nothing happened. Every time I tried to bring it up, she merely talked loudly over me. FML

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By Sugar - United Kingdom

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

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By Baskets-Tailleur - France

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

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Top comments

By uhhSavage | 22

#6028829 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:44

I don't see how you couldn't deserve this, lol.

By phew_fml | 21

#6028832 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:44

Revenge is a dish best serves cold...

COMMENTS

By uhhSavage | 22

#6028829 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:44

I don't see how you couldn't deserve this, lol.

Liyuesigs | 8

#6029038 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 4:34

She did but not to this extent. This is way out of proportion.

FimogenFeels | 14

#6029041 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 4:38

I don't think she did. OP's sister went too far.

brand125 | 17

#6029105 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 5:45

Am i the only one who finds it really weird she plugged her sisters nose while she was asleep? If i woke up to not being able to breath i wouldnt be too happy.

although taping her up is also messed up..

headache_chick | 13

#6029130 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 6:21

#70 & 72.....the prank was very appropriate, especially considering the prank OP pulled.

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6029136 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 6:31

70, 72, Op's sister woke up feeling like she couldn't breath, getting ice water poured on you sucks but isn't an inappropriate response.

Arwen_Evenstar | 37

#6029335 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 14:02

I'd say it's proportionate. Plus it makes the sister a legend!

kaablam | 17

#6029399 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 16:14

Go big or go home!

hoopfrog | 14

#6029407 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 16:25

Straight up!

Vitotaylor36 | 13

#6029564 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 20:02

When it comes to prank wars, you HAVE to one-up the other person. Bet OP won't be doing anything like that every again. I saw YFDI and little sis wins the war.

By Onyxdragon | 9

#6028831 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:44

This doesn't fit the Canadian stereotype at all... Ydi, big time.

Ainarr | 29

#6028989 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 2:57

unless she's yelling 'sorry' the whole time

RiotPoof | 3

#6029012 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 3:36

Are you kidding? What's the point of living in a country like Canada if you can't pour freezing cold water or snow on an unsuspecting person?

horneyhic | 15

#6029060 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 4:49

Pranking your siblings is deffinatly part of Canadian culture

marcus369 | 9

#6029102 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 5:36

I DONT LIKE YOUR STEREOTYPES!!! OMG I'm so sorry for yelling at you, i hope i didnt hurt your feelings. but honestly, thats actually how we are, we dont say sorry after every bad thing we do

DiamondGirlj | 18

#6029114 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 5:57

#87 1. You just apologized for something 'bad' you did, 2. This is a good stereotype, we're being stereotyped for being nice. XD

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6029140 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 6:33

Personally, I absolutely love our stereotype! We're stereotyped as nice people that apologize all the time and treat others as we want to be treated. I also love how that stereotype is true for the majority of Canadians. Much better than any other stereotype.

thevelociraptor | 31

#6029280 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 10:36

I'm not even mad. Also #87 You need to chill out, like go outside. I am Canadian and I don't really give a shit about our stereotypes. You agree? eh?
(P.S sorry for swearing)

marcus369 | 9

#6029574 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 20:14

1. my comment was a joke. 2. I dont care about them either so calm down

DiamondGirlj | 18

#6031373 - Friday 8 August 2014 23:10

Again #135, no one was really angry. WE WEREN'T TYPING LIKE THIS!

By phew_fml | 21

#6028832 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:44

Revenge is a dish best serves cold...

SnslessRage | 11

#6028863 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:55

Ice cold apparently.

baseballbv | 17

#6028877 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 0:07

As Cold as Ice.

LegalLoitering | 12

#6028883 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 0:22

Willing to sacrifice our love.

Rallred32 | 20

#6029002 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 3:18

22 and 26 shouldn't have dislikes.

NinjaDitto623 | 14

#6029048 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 4:43

#59, 22 and 26 shouldn't have commented

maylie25 | 18

#6029072 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 5:05

I agree with #59....#22 And #26 shouldn't have dislikes that was funny lol =)

Rallred32 | 20

#6029432 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 16:56

Apparently no one on FML has a sense for music. Fuckin Neanderthals

baseballbv | 17

#6029435 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 16:58

Make a reference to Let it Go and you get a million likes. Make a reference to a classic song and it's the opposite.

rambleramble3 | 11

#6031234 - Friday 8 August 2014 19:55

To #125's comment,
Well that escalated quickly...

By joeyl2008 | 29

#6028834 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:44

Yeah, you deserve that one.

Onyxdragon | 9

#6028838 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:46

There's a button for that. if you didn't know.

By peanuty001 | 19

#6028837 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:45

fair trade

By msmedistyle | 14

#6028840 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:46

She just wanted to help you shower

Mystery_Unsolved | 16

#6029910 - Thursday 7 August 2014 4:50

That's one way to look at it

By martin8337 | 35

#6028843 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:47

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Gweedo65 | 16

#6029074 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 5:06

Hmm this reminds me of another comment...

By blazerman_fml | 17

#6028844 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:48

I think you better end this feud here..Revenge is not an option.A 7 year old who knows how to tape you down?Just think of all the possibilities other than ice water.Nope not walking down that road.

EduJav321 | 24

#6029026 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 4:14

I have a feeling she might have had somehelp

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6029142 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 6:35

My first thought after reading this FML was that that is the best 7 year old ever!

By ElementaryEdGuy | 18

#6028846 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:48

Sorry, but I think your sister is Satan.

euphoricness | 28

#6028995 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 3:07

I don't think so, maybe if she poured boiling hot ramen noodles on him while gauging out his eye sockets and then feeding them to her pet iguanas, then yes - she would be Satan

By mld4657 | 28

#6028848 - Tuesday 5 August 2014 23:48

I love your sister muhahaha I would so do something like this

Arwen_Evenstar | 37

#6029340 - Wednesday 6 August 2014 14:06

I've universally found that when people announce they'd do something like "that", they're actually the sort of person who likes people to think they would, yet never, ever does.