Geek: Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used... - FML

By Anonymous - 05/08/2014 11:55 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 361

You deserved it 3 836

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Same thing different taste

What a massive clock

By Rhianna - 22/11/2009 04:05 - Australia

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year-old clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 451

You deserved it 7 694

Bang on time

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 10:00

Today, I proudly put on display the custom clock I'd spent 3 months building from scratch. It struck the hour and promptly fell off the wall, breaking my wife’s antique vase that she'd inherited from her great nana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 243

By ilikeirishducks - 19/06/2009 13:51 - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 804

You deserved it 21 101

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 773

You deserved it 370

By part time all the time - 23/06/2013 04:37 - United States - Bloomfield Hills

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 389

You deserved it 3 411

By brebre101 - 31/07/2011 09:05 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother performing voodoo on a doll with my picture taped to its face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 180

You deserved it 4 921

Panic! In the Bathroom

By MAWZ - 19/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 747

You deserved it 5 160

By idiot - 30/10/2010 20:42 - France

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 575

You deserved it 5 859

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 201

You deserved it 3 230

Dude, gross!

By utensils123 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 641

You deserved it 2 357

Next

Top comments

DeltaDragonxx 20

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:46

This could take a very shocking turn!

penguinhalo 21

Tuesday 5 August 2014 16:51

I hear shock therapy is effective.

Comments

DeltaDragonxx 20

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:46

This could take a very shocking turn!

johnnyiskeenan 13

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:03

Water you doing making puns about getting shocked in a tub

johnnyiskeenan 13

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:05

She could be in critical conditioner something

urdirtyolduncle 15

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:14

Don't you worry. Natural selection will "take care" of him.

DArthurVaderian 18

Wednesday 6 August 2014 8:41

Aaand you broke the chain

badmandilon 19

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:46

I hope nobody pushed it.

Aspen_Grace33 27

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:49

Next he will decide the bathroom needs some music and will bring in a dj booth. Don't mind the dj staring while you're bathing!!!

pratikp03 22

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:49

Can't cure stupid

penguinhalo 21

Tuesday 5 August 2014 16:51

I hear shock therapy is effective.

marcus369 9

Wednesday 6 August 2014 20:17

lol

whatafuckup 14

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:50

Go buy a new one!

weswheatley 14

Tuesday 5 August 2014 18:07

I hope that was a joke.

mallu86 9

Tuesday 5 August 2014 19:48

No. Look at the name.

Mystery_Unsolved 16

Tuesday 5 August 2014 20:36

Yeah because money just grows on trees nowadays

maximus_prime 24

Wednesday 6 August 2014 0:29

Why would OP go out and buy a new brother? She may like the one she has now.

Wizardo 33

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:53

Don't be all Blu, there's still a Ray of hope. Remove the player and get a normal clock.

DUB_Speeding 10

Tuesday 5 August 2014 16:36

Your pun was horrid...

foxwasalamb 24

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:00

cmon wizardo. usually you're good at this.

ScottVining 21

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:55

Let him learn the hard way why that's a bad idea

buckerado 19

Tuesday 5 August 2014 16:05

You do realize that "learning the hard way" in this situation would result in a very severe injury, if not death? I'm pretty sure OP would rather explain the mistake than kill the brother.

ChristianH39 30

Tuesday 5 August 2014 16:57

You must be almost as dumb as OPs brother to think that's a good idea

boating_guy 33

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:55

It's all good OP. No one uses DVDs anymore anyway. They're obsolete

meli1195 31

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:01

I don't think you understand why this is an FML....

soulreaper12296 28

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:03

Really? I use DVDs all the time. My friends use them all the time. I know a lot of people who still use DVDs. How are they obsolete?

mallu86 9

Tuesday 5 August 2014 19:50

I think #11 is op's brother.

palosqueak 19

Tuesday 5 August 2014 19:52

U guys didnt get the sarcasm, right?

foxwasalamb 24

Tuesday 5 August 2014 21:04

palosqueak why? the spelling nazis are about to get you

scottyspot 11

Tuesday 5 August 2014 15:59

Was it a shocking experience?

drunkinlove21 5

Tuesday 5 August 2014 16:01

Survival of the fittest comes in to play here..

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 733

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 3 963

The Top

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 626

You deserved it 3 677

Today, I'm no longer allowed to work the drive-thru at my job, because over the weekend, 3 dumbasses I go to school with came in and complained to my manager, saying I sounded a creepy pervert and that it scared them enough to take their business elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 478

You deserved it 1 980

Today, I pissed out a kidney stone the size of a sweetcorn. Doesn’t sound big, but you just try pissing one out. My poor knob feels like it’s been attacked by rusty steel wool wrapped around a full-speed drill bit. I’m genuinely scared that the next time I piss will be full of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 147

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 859

You deserved it 4 897

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 911

You deserved it 36 332

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 139