I believe that would lead to said tearing of a new asshole

That's asking for an ass-whooping.

Ass tearing**

She found out about his bank account

Or his lack of bank account.

He didn't say that he'll tear his current asshole, he said he'd make him a new asshole

More than likely that's the first thing OP said.

And if that doesn't work, punch him in the face real hard. Or call the bank security to throw him out?

I agree. but the pansy behind him should have just said it out loud. I don't understand the whole "coughing" thing. if you think it, say it; if you can't admit it, keep your mouth shut. regardless, I hope everything got situated.

Should have* What exactly would calling a cop solve? Screwing the poor bastard over a little more maybe? Save OP from a little verbal abuse and some shoving? No, the cop wouldn't get there in time to resolve that. Also who has time to sit around and wait 20-30 minutes for a cop to waddle in and spend another hour writing a report?

(911) "What is your emergency?" (OP) "Im going to have a new asshole ripped in me, because some guy thinks I called him a loser! (911) "...........ok? An officer will be there shortly. Please stay calm." (911) " I will send paramedics."

Maybe, but shoving someone, especially repeatedly, could be considered assault, depending on where you live. If I was OP and the dude didn't back the fuck down and stop shoving me around, yeah, I'd be pressing assault charges. Fuck him. He may have just gotten shat on by a chick, but I'm not gonna give him a free pass to be a raging ass. He can enjoy his free car ride and complementary stay at the local bed and breakfast.

Shoving someone is battery, not assault. Learn this, please.

Why do so many people say should of? It makes no sense at all.

Because using the contraction should've can sound like should of, I guess.

You know him personally?

Just get brutally dumped and some little prick yells "loser." Nah that's not anger issues I would, and am willing to bet 3 internets that most people would, want to tear that assholes head off too.

If this guy was willing to beat someone up for calling him a loser, then there's a chance he would beat a girl for breaking up with him.

Or maybe he was being such a jerk at the bank that she got fed up and broke up with him on the spot