By I already have one, thanks - 09/08/2014 05:59 - Australia - Mosman

Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 320
You deserved it 3 083

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Did his girlfriend dump him for being gay? A man tearing another mans asshole sounds a bit strange.

revan546 24

I believe that would lead to said tearing of a new asshole


joeyl2008 29

That's when you say "it's not my fault you are a loser."

Did his girlfriend dump him for being gay? A man tearing another mans asshole sounds a bit strange.

He didn't say that he'll tear his current asshole, he said he'd make him a new asshole

RenoTheRhino 30

Just tell him the guy behind you said it.

More than likely that's the first thing OP said.

Chewiebhz 15

And if that doesn't work, punch him in the face real hard. Or call the bank security to throw him out?

I agree. but the pansy behind him should have just said it out loud. I don't understand the whole "coughing" thing. if you think it, say it; if you can't admit it, keep your mouth shut. regardless, I hope everything got situated.

JMichael 25

Should have* What exactly would calling a cop solve? Screwing the poor bastard over a little more maybe? Save OP from a little verbal abuse and some shoving? No, the cop wouldn't get there in time to resolve that. Also who has time to sit around and wait 20-30 minutes for a cop to waddle in and spend another hour writing a report?

(911) "What is your emergency?" (OP) "Im going to have a new asshole ripped in me, because some guy thinks I called him a loser! (911) "...........ok? An officer will be there shortly. Please stay calm." (911) " I will send paramedics."

Maybe, but shoving someone, especially repeatedly, could be considered assault, depending on where you live. If I was OP and the dude didn't back the **** down and stop shoving me around, yeah, I'd be pressing assault charges. **** him. He may have just gotten shat on by a chick, but I'm not gonna give him a free pass to be a raging ass. He can enjoy his free car ride and complementary stay at the local bed and breakfast.

Shoving someone is battery, not assault. Learn this, please.

Why do so many people say should of? It makes no sense at all.

Because using the contraction should've can sound like should of, I guess.

Don't be a pussy and stand up for yourself. If the guy doesn't believe someone else said it and stays aggressive at you, kick his ass! Guy probably got dumped for a reason...

XBurytheCastleX 25

You should have grabbed the asshole behind you by the shirt and said "it wasn't me it was this mother ******." And push him towards the guy. Well, that's what I would do.

mrwilsong 6

He has anger problems , that's probably why his girlfriend left him in the first place.

Just get brutally dumped and some little prick yells "loser." Nah that's not anger issues I would, and am willing to bet 3 internets that most people would, want to tear that assholes head off too.

CallMeWindSock 24

Should've just pointed out it was the other guy and not you

Tell him it was the other guy! Can't believe his girlfriend dumped him in a bank in public though, that's so embarrassing

tony1891 22

why would you dump Someone in a crowded place to begin with? that just isn't right. but feel sorry for you for being mistaken

If this guy was willing to beat someone up for calling him a loser, then there's a chance he would beat a girl for breaking up with him.

Or maybe he was being such a jerk at the bank that she got fed up and broke up with him on the spot