By I already have one, thanks - Australia - Mosman
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
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  sweetbliss3  |  37

I agree. but the pansy behind him should have just said it out loud. I don't understand the whole "coughing" thing. if you think it, say it; if you can't admit it, keep your mouth shut. regardless, I hope everything got situated.

  junkman6  |  22

Should have*

What exactly would calling a cop solve? Screwing the poor bastard over a little more maybe? Save OP from a little verbal abuse and some shoving? No, the cop wouldn't get there in time to resolve that.

Also who has time to sit around and wait 20-30 minutes for a cop to waddle in and spend another hour writing a report?

  HersheySquirts  |  17

(911) "What is your emergency?"
(OP) "Im going to have a new asshole ripped in me, because some guy thinks I called him a loser!
(911) "...........ok? An officer will be there shortly. Please stay calm."
(911) " I will send paramedics."

  SmoothPancakes  |  10

Maybe, but shoving someone, especially repeatedly, could be considered assault, depending on where you live. If I was OP and the dude didn't back the fuck down and stop shoving me around, yeah, I'd be pressing assault charges. Fuck him. He may have just gotten shat on by a chick, but I'm not gonna give him a free pass to be a raging ass. He can enjoy his free car ride and complementary stay at the local bed and breakfast.

By  fergnasty  |  14

Don't be a pussy and stand up for yourself. If the guy doesn't believe someone else said it and stays aggressive at you, kick his ass! Guy probably got dumped for a reason...

By  XBurytheCastleX  |  25

You should have grabbed the asshole behind you by the shirt and said "it wasn't me it was this mother fucker." And push him towards the guy. Well, that's what I would do.

  junkman6  |  22

Just get brutally dumped and some little prick yells "loser." Nah that's not anger issues I would, and am willing to bet 3 internets that most people would, want to tear that assholes head off too.